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Sooo. Have you ever felt so embarrassed you've wanted to die? Literally die? Not just a fleeting moment of your face getting red and your hands shaking, but a good few hours of that, days even. And not just humiliating yourself in front of the class or a busy street, but millions of people everywhere? I assure you you have not felt the embarrassment I am feeling right now. There's just no way. I felt very genuinely bad for Kate after her drug scandal and Naomi after her housekeeper beating scandals, I did because there's nothing worse than trying so hard for years to build a distinguished career and having all that hard work and your respectability come crashing down because of one media scandal. One mistake. We're not fucking perfect you know, far from it. We're models for God's sake we do drugs, have sex, and beat a few people up occassionally.
I've had this sweet girl next door image for so long. Estee Lauder hired me because of it. I have a couple tattoos and date surfers and rock stars, but I barely even drink and I won mom of the year for fuck's sake. For a long time I felt left out from Kate and Naomi's crew because they had so much fun and got invited to all these cool parties and shit. They were sassy models. Later on I was jealous of all the Brazilian models because they're such sexy beasts and they're a crew, too, and they're such superstars all of them. And I'm so boring. The grass is always greener on the other side I guess. I didn't exactly want to become famous because of a mortifying sex tape online. Please God let this be a dream, let me be boring again. I'll never curse you for not making me Brazilian for as long as I live.
The best part is asshole comments from ohnotheydidnt readers being their usual asshole selves. I fucking hate those assholes.
And it is worse than Paris Hilton's (if you can believe it) and so very much worse than Tommy and Pam's. The only thing worse than a sex tape is a bad sex tape. I usually have a fantastic sense of humor about these things and I would maybe even link you if it wasn't such a shitty sex tape. I mean it's so embarrassing I don't know how I'll look any of my employers in the eye again. Maybe they'll fire me so I won't have to. The idea of that is making me so ill I have to lay down.
Tell me your most embarrassing moment and make me feel better, I beg you.
I've had this sweet girl next door image for so long. Estee Lauder hired me because of it. I have a couple tattoos and date surfers and rock stars, but I barely even drink and I won mom of the year for fuck's sake. For a long time I felt left out from Kate and Naomi's crew because they had so much fun and got invited to all these cool parties and shit. They were sassy models. Later on I was jealous of all the Brazilian models because they're such sexy beasts and they're a crew, too, and they're such superstars all of them. And I'm so boring. The grass is always greener on the other side I guess. I didn't exactly want to become famous because of a mortifying sex tape online. Please God let this be a dream, let me be boring again. I'll never curse you for not making me Brazilian for as long as I live.
The best part is asshole comments from ohnotheydidnt readers being their usual asshole selves. I fucking hate those assholes.
And it is worse than Paris Hilton's (if you can believe it) and so very much worse than Tommy and Pam's. The only thing worse than a sex tape is a bad sex tape. I usually have a fantastic sense of humor about these things and I would maybe even link you if it wasn't such a shitty sex tape. I mean it's so embarrassing I don't know how I'll look any of my employers in the eye again. Maybe they'll fire me so I won't have to. The idea of that is making me so ill I have to lay down.
Tell me your most embarrassing moment and make me feel better, I beg you.