Some women have hated me right off. Some women I have felt threatened by. And some people I'm uncomfortable with, regard less of gender - just because I'm so bloody socially inept. And of course, they're then uncomfortable with me, because I'm so uncomfortable with them. Hardly surprising. But it's all so fucked up. I remember when I first starting having my 'thing' with Dave, and while the romance/relationship was developing, women would take one look at me, and start crawling over him. I mean "What???" And mind you, I was much younger and prettier then. I honestly don't get it, any of it. What on earth had I done? what was I projecting to elicit that instant competitive thing? Generally speaking, the women I have instant rapport with are not girly women. Lovely 'butchy' lesbians and tomboy types, women who swear and growl and project tough personas, I just click with. Take-no-shit types. And I wonder what that suggests about me, as I'm neither butch nor tomboyish. (I suspect that reveals little positive about me.) And I hate all of it. I've never wanted to play any competition games, I've never wanted to feel threatened, I've never wanted anyone else to feel threatened. I want none of it!!! I just want to chill, you know? Talk to all people comfortably. I really hate the way women are stereotyped into behaving. I just don't get it.
I wonder how much we will be influenced by having more female authors, directors, producers. That does give me hope. The insanity of these bewildering, self-perpetuating cycles being rejected. New modes of behaviour and interaction. Learning new ways to be - it's an exciting prospect.
Yes! Things are improving! And there is lots that we can do. I do try and go out of my way to signal to other women that I am no threat.
Of course, these days it happens much less :D The worst time was probably from teenage time to thirty-ish? I do think it's important to call others out when they judge other women, without even knowing them.
Every time a woman says about another "That bitch!" it's good to ask them, what makes you say that? Why do you need to say that? Who is she to you? Do you even know her?
Well, although sometimes it's hard for me to accept :D one can't love alll and everyone.
I just feel a lot of the cattiness between women is a product of media. A lot of that idea that women kind of only define themselves over the men in their lives, is an idea spread by media.
We kind of learn from early on to see ourselves through the male lens. I know I sound accusatory, but I don't mean to be only negative. Just for women to rid themselves of these preconceptions.
I can't really define a type of women I get on with. Perhaps I manage to stay friends with women who are a little more self confident than others? Women who are in this competitive mode do make feel uncomfortable, but then I suspect, they don't feel very comfortable in their skin either.
You know, I'm neither butch nor tough! And we get on spendidly! And not even ONCE, I had that feeling that you were competitive or insecure! You were just lovely, from the first moment on ;))
I think-hope-that a lot of these ideas of who we're supposed to be, will evolve in more mature, complex images.
And some people I'm uncomfortable with, regard less of gender - just because I'm so bloody socially inept. And of course, they're then uncomfortable with me, because I'm so uncomfortable with them. Hardly surprising.
But it's all so fucked up. I remember when I first starting having my 'thing' with Dave, and while the romance/relationship was developing, women would take one look at me, and start crawling over him. I mean "What???" And mind you, I was much younger and prettier then. I honestly don't get it, any of it. What on earth had I done? what was I projecting to elicit that instant competitive thing?
Generally speaking, the women I have instant rapport with are not girly women. Lovely 'butchy' lesbians and tomboy types, women who swear and growl and project tough personas, I just click with. Take-no-shit types. And I wonder what that suggests about me, as I'm neither butch nor tomboyish. (I suspect that reveals little positive about me.)
And I hate all of it. I've never wanted to play any competition games, I've never wanted to feel threatened, I've never wanted anyone else to feel threatened. I want none of it!!! I just want to chill, you know? Talk to all people comfortably. I really hate the way women are stereotyped into behaving. I just don't get it.
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Of course, these days it happens much less :D The worst time was probably from teenage time to thirty-ish? I do think it's important to call others out when they judge other women, without even knowing them.
Every time a woman says about another "That bitch!" it's good to ask them, what makes you say that? Why do you need to say that? Who is she to you? Do you even know her?
Reply
I just feel a lot of the cattiness between women is a product of media. A lot of that idea that women kind of only define themselves over the men in their lives, is an idea spread by media.
We kind of learn from early on to see ourselves through the male lens. I know I sound accusatory, but I don't mean to be only negative. Just for women to rid themselves of these preconceptions.
I can't really define a type of women I get on with. Perhaps I manage to stay friends with women who are a little more self confident than others? Women who are in this competitive mode do make feel uncomfortable, but then I suspect, they don't feel very comfortable in their skin either.
You know, I'm neither butch nor tough! And we get on spendidly! And not even ONCE, I had that feeling that you were competitive or insecure! You were just lovely, from the first moment on ;))
I think-hope-that a lot of these ideas of who we're supposed to be, will evolve in more mature, complex images.
Reply
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