Splendid!
I seem to overhear the most annoying conversations while out to eat. A few nights ago while eating at a Mexican restaurant in Chapel Hill, I heard this irritating exchange:
Man(Talking very slowly, as though the waiter does not understand English): So what all comes with # 4?
(Me, to myself): If you just read the menu, you would know exactly what comes with # 4, you lazy bastard.)
Waiter: One enchilada, one taco, and rice.
Man: Hmm. Can I substitute a burrito for the enchilada?
(Me: That is an unreasonable request because: a) they are both tortillas wrapped around some combination of beans, meat, and rice; and b) the man could just order the one burrito, one taco, and rice meal (I checked the menu to make sure this combination existed). If I were the waiter, I would have been tempted to say no, he could not substitute a burrito for the enchilada. )
This was the conversation I heard tonight:
Guy 1: It would be really hard to hit someone with a napkin!
(Me: Why would anyone have the desire to hit a person with a napkin?)
Guy 2: Haaa! What's that?
Guy 3: Dude, you don't know what a napkin is?
Guy 2: Whoa..I thought he said "Lapkin"!! Haahahaaa!
Guy 1: What would a lapkin be? A cross between a napkin and a fork?! Hahaahahaa!
(Me: "Lapkin" does not sound like a cross between a napkin and a fork. Fork begins with an F, not an L.)
Guy 2: Hahah! I think it sounds like a furry animal! Hahaaa!
-They continue discussing "lapkins" and laughing at their own jokes (if you can even call them jokes) for at least five minutes-
And these were not even young people. They looked to be about 25, which is much, much too old for that type of conversation.
Man(Talking very slowly, as though the waiter does not understand English): So what all comes with # 4?
(Me, to myself): If you just read the menu, you would know exactly what comes with # 4, you lazy bastard.)
Waiter: One enchilada, one taco, and rice.
Man: Hmm. Can I substitute a burrito for the enchilada?
(Me: That is an unreasonable request because: a) they are both tortillas wrapped around some combination of beans, meat, and rice; and b) the man could just order the one burrito, one taco, and rice meal (I checked the menu to make sure this combination existed). If I were the waiter, I would have been tempted to say no, he could not substitute a burrito for the enchilada. )
This was the conversation I heard tonight:
Guy 1: It would be really hard to hit someone with a napkin!
(Me: Why would anyone have the desire to hit a person with a napkin?)
Guy 2: Haaa! What's that?
Guy 3: Dude, you don't know what a napkin is?
Guy 2: Whoa..I thought he said "Lapkin"!! Haahahaaa!
Guy 1: What would a lapkin be? A cross between a napkin and a fork?! Hahaahahaa!
(Me: "Lapkin" does not sound like a cross between a napkin and a fork. Fork begins with an F, not an L.)
Guy 2: Hahah! I think it sounds like a furry animal! Hahaaa!
-They continue discussing "lapkins" and laughing at their own jokes (if you can even call them jokes) for at least five minutes-
And these were not even young people. They looked to be about 25, which is much, much too old for that type of conversation.