Glee: The Mixtapes
So I have been immersed in this Glee universe for a little over a month now, and that means, of course, that I have been cultivating soundtracks for both the Puck/Kurt storyline, and the Finn-centric offshoot. I mentioned the Finn mix awhile back when I first started tossing around the Jay-Z references.
Well, I have finally reached a point where I feel both mixes are complete, so I will post them here, in case you're dying of curiosity about what I listen to while I write about those three idiots.*
A couple of the songs on the Kurt/Puck mix were chosen by
cinderlily during some e-mail conversation, and a couple of them appear on her fanmix as well. Because we share a brain as well as this universe, and our musical tastes just overlap that way.
Bad graphics are all my fault, as usual. Links take you to Sendspace; if that's a problem, let me know.
Best That I Can: A Kurt/Puck Mix (zip file)
1) Blow Monkeys -- Digging Your Scene
I'm like a boy among men
I'd like a permanent friend.
I'd like to think that I was just myself again.
Tell me why is it I'm digging your scene
Kurt’s been out of Ohio for a few years and he’s done a lot of growing, but he’s still pretty blindsided by his reaction to seeing Puck again. It’s a weird mixture of nostalgia for a part of his life he doesn’t necessarily miss, and attraction that frankly he is kind of disturbed by, because it’s Puck. But Puck’s grown a lot too, and he doesn’t seem to have any trouble with his attraction to Kurt, so Kurt’s just going with it.
2) Tom Jones -- Sexbomb (Peppermint Jam Mix)
No don't get me wrong ain't gonna do you no harm no
This bomb's made for lovin' and you can shoot it far
I'm your main target come and help me ignite ow
Love struck holding you tight hold me tight darlin'
Fact: One day a little over a month ago I was listening to Tom Jones, as you do, and when "Sexbomb" came on I said to myself, "Self, that is a song about Noah Puckerman and his outrageous self-confidence if I’ve ever heard one." So then I started thinking about grown-up Puck and what that would be like, and I remembered how I’d always kind of wanted to remix
cinderlily’s one Glee futurefic, and the rest is history.
All because I really liked the image of Puck singing "Sexbomb". So hey, thanks, Tom Jones. Then I wrote that one fic where Puck promises Kurt a lap dance, and ever since then Puck’s been lap dancing to this song in my head. I haven’t written the lap dance fic because I’m lazy, but I promised Liz, so I’ll get around to it someday. Probably.
3) Counting Crows -- Los Angeles
But honey I'm just trying to make some sense
Honey I'm just trying to make some friends
Baby I'm not trying to make amends
For coming to Los Angeles
They both had to go a long way from home to figure themselves out, and there are still times when L.A. just seems like a foreign country. So maybe that’s part of the reason they take so much comfort in reconnecting with a familiar face; being with someone who knows their past and their present helps things make a little more sense.
4) Hootie & the Blowfish -- Hold My Hand
Want you to hold my hand
Hold my hand
I'll take you to the promised land
Hold my hand
Maybe we can't change the world but
I wanna love you the best that, best that I can
Aw, it’s their song. It’s gross and romantic and waaaaay over the top, but that’s the whole reason Puck picked it, and it’s the reason Kurt secretly loves it even though he’ll never, ever admit it.
5) Guster -- All the Way Up to Heaven
He said to only look up
He said to never look down
Down is where we came from
He said to hope for the best
And take a load off my chest
Soon I could be happy
They come from the same place, and it’s that shared history that intensifies their connection. Things are moving pretty quickly for them, which scares Kurt a little, because again, it’s Puck, and his frame of reference for Puck is that he’s not reliable. But Puck has no problem at all with the pace, because he’s only looking forward and he knows they’re going to be just fine, as long as Kurt trusts him enough to go along for the ride.
6) Nada Surf -- Beautiful Beat
I believe our love can save me
Have to believe that it can
I want to redirect myself with you
Do you understand?
They’ve both got some pain in their past, things they tried to leave behind when they left Ohio. But no one can ever really outrun themselves, and reconnecting with someone who knows that past reminds them of that. But in a way it’s good, because it gives them both a chance to reconcile where they’ve come from and to move past it together.
7) Cyndi Lauper -- Come On Home
So come on home
When the road that you've been
Walking gets too long
Don't be scared
In case the grass you thought
Was greener isn't there
You could come on home
Kurt left Lima with big dreams, and there’s a little part of him that still feels like he’s failed. He has people who love him back home, but he never quite managed to fit in there. He still worries that his father’s a little disappointed not to have gotten the son he hoped for, no matter how much he loves Kurt. And he bailed on Broadway, which he’d built up so much in his head that he can’t help feeling like he failed, a little.
But he’s not sorry that he came to L.A. to study fashion, and he wouldn’t trade Brittany no matter how crazy she makes him, and he’s definitely not sorry to have reconnected with Puck. He always thought he’d be so much happier once he managed to leave Ohio behind completely, but Puck’s helping him learn that sometimes you really can go home again.
8) Magnetic Fields -- Smoke and Mirrors
Smoke and mirrors
Special effects
A little fear, a little sex
That's all love is
Kurt’s happy, happier than he’s ever been, really, but he can’t help worrying. He wants to trust Puck completely, and most of the time he does. He knows Puck loves him, not just because Puck says it like he’s not afraid of getting hurt, but also because of all the little things he does. The way he touches Kurt on the arm to get his attention, the way he leans across the bar to kiss Kurt hello no matter how busy he is at work, the way he smiles like Kurt’s the only person in the world.
He wants to believe it, but there’s still that tiny little part of him that whispers not good enough, and it holds him back. That’s the part of him that keeps expecting the other shoe to drop, for the bottom to fall out or for Puck to get bored and move on, because there’s no way he could really be sure that Kurt’s all he wants for the rest of his life.
9) Iron & Wine -- Cinder and Smoke
Give me your hand
And take what you will tonight, I'll give it as fast
And high as the flame will rise
This is a song about a house fire. I know. Partly I put it on here because I would give...well, a lot to hear Mark Salling sing Iron & Wine. But at its most basic the message is that Puck would do anything at all for Kurt, he would set fire to every bit of their shared history that holds Kurt back if he could. He’d do whatever it takes to make Kurt see that he means it when he says ‘forever’.
10) Guster -- I Hope Tomorrow Is Like Today
I hope tomorrow is like today
Don't you go away tomorrow
I don't think I could handle that
As Liz says, at his heart, Puck is a hopeless romantic. He sowed a lot of wild oats and he never took all that much seriously, but becoming a father showed him that there’s more to connecting with people than just sex. For a long time he wasn’t sure he was good enough for someone to feel that way about him, but if Kurt can love him even knowing everything he does about Puck, there’s no way he’s going to let that go. Basically this song is about how much he loves belonging to somebody, and how hard he’s going to hold onto that.
11) Daft Punk -- Something About Us
It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there's something about us I want to say
Cause there's something between us anyway
Puck knows he’s moving pretty fast, but he figures when you find something amazing, you should hold onto it. Kurt’s pretty much right there with him, which scares the hell out of him, because what if they’re wrong? But he knows if he does screw this up he’ll regret it for the rest of his life, so he’s trying not to.
12) Jenny Owen Youngs -- Have You Forgotten (Red House Painters cover)
I can't let you be
‘cause your beauty won't allow me
wrapped in white sheets
like an angel from a bedtime story
Kurt’s the one with the doubts, and Puck’s the one left trying to convince him that no matter what he might think, Puck’s the lucky one here. It’s a weird sort of role reversal, and it’s a lot of work, but Puck’s pretty stubborn.
13) Ben Folds -- The Luckiest
I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
This song makes me cry, but Liz said I had to include it anyway because it’s sappy and romantic and totally them. And she’s right, of course, because she’s always right. They didn’t get things right the first time, but that’s okay, because they both needed time to grow up and learn who they were before they could be with each other.
Bonus track: How Lovely to Be A Woman (performed by Susan Watson)
It’s not a Caroline mix without a) gross amounts of romantic music, b) at least one cover song, and c) some song that overtly mocks what complete dorks the characters are. I was looking for a showtune I could include on here, for obvious reasons, and I was listening to "Bye, Bye Birdie", and once I listened to this song again I just couldn’t not include it.
I mean, okay, it is kind of mean, I know. But a) they are both kind of chicks about their relationship, and b) the lyrics talk about growing from that awkward, self-conscious stage of life into a self-assured young adult, and that’s exactly what they both had to do before they were ready to be together. So it fits. (Also, Kurt is a pretty princess, and he has no one to blame for that but himself.)
~
99 Problems: The Fanmix (zip file)
1) Nada Surf -- Popular
I'm head of the class (I'm popular)
I'm a quarterback (I'm popular)
My mom says I'm a catch (I'm popular)
I'm never last picked
I got a cheerleader chick
Finn Hudson, high school-era. This has been his frame of reference for so long that he’s having a little trouble adjusting to the new self-image that’s being forced upon him by the reality that he has to grow up sometime.
2) Richard Cheese -- Hot For Teacher
I think of all the education that I've missed
But then my homework was never quite like this
I went back and forth re: whether to include this version or the original version for so long. But I finally settled on the cheesy lounge cover, because it’s Finn, and cheesy + Finn = LOL forever. (I mock because I love. No, really.) If you’d like the original version, it’s here.
All mocking aside, my issue with Will/Finn is the power imbalance inherent in their relationship. It’s a weird dynamic, even once Will’s not his teacher anymore, and it would be weirder for Will, who’s dealt with student crushes and is clearly not the type to take advantage of them. So it’s a big uphill climb to get past thinking of themselves as teacher/student and start thinking of each other as people.
3) Cake -- Short Skirt, Long Jacket
And at the city bank
We will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk
When she borrows my pen
Every time I hear this song I think, “Sure you do, Finn.” Then I cackle to myself, because I am just that lame. The thing is, though, Finn thinks he knows what he wants, and he figures one of these days it’ll come along when he’s not even looking. The problem with his theory is that he’s not looking for the right thing, so how’s he going to know when it finds him?
4) Limp Bizkit -- Faith/Blind
but I gotta think twice
before I give my heart away
and I know all the games you play
'cause I play them too
Is there anything more fitting for a Finn mix than a pop-punk cover of an anthem to love by a really gay dude? I submit that there is not. I left the hidden track intact because Finn’s all about defying expectations, yo. Except for the part where he totally, totally isn’t.
5) Jay-Z & Linkin Park -- Points Of Authority/99 Problems
If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
I include this particular remix because a) Linkin Park rules, and their collaborations with Jay-Z do the originals by both artists a tremendous amount of justice, and b) it’s funnier if Finn listens to the white boy remix of a song about racism, like that makes it in any way more relatable to his life.
6) Beyonce -- If I Were A Boy
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
Oh, don’t look at me like that.
7) Kasabian -- Club Foot
I tell you I want you
I'll tell you I need you
I... the blood ain’t on my face
Just wanted you near me
The thing with not knowing what you want is that you still want, and if you can’t put your finger on what you’re reaching for, you’re probably not going to hit your mark. In Finn’s case, he knows he wants to be around Will, and he knows he sometimes thinks thoughts that he never would have expected to think. He just doesn’t know what to do about it, and it’s starting to get to him.
8) Kings Of Leon -- Crawl
You better learn to crawl
You better learn to crawl
Before I walk away
Before I walk away
Finn’s starting to figure it out. It’s a painfully slow process, but he’s working through it. But the thing is, it would be a little easier if Will would get on board and help.
9) Bloc Party -- Like Eating Glass
And it hurts all the time when you don't return my calls
And you haven't got the time to remember how it was
Once Finn does figure out what he wants, he has to come to terms with the fact that he probably isn’t going to get it. They’ve related to each other in such a specific way for so long that he doesn’t know how to change that, and he’s afraid he might not be able to.
10) Jayhawks -- Save It For a Rainy Day
You never make your mind up
Like driving with your eyes shut
Rough around the edges
Won't someone come and take you home
Nobody’s making the first move, and it’s frustrating because Finn sort of wants to, but if he does he might lose the person who’s come to be his best friend, somehow. He doesn’t even know how that happened, but it’s a lot to risk.
11) Eddie From Ohio -- Fifth Of July
we're now on our own
for the first of our lives
on the fifth of july
now what
This is a song about pets. It’s a song about pets that are neglected and looking for a way out of their mundane routines, basically. Part of the reason I chose it is because of the band name, which is a lousy reason to choose a song. But the pets allegory really applies to Finn and Will’s relationship, in a very sad way. Will’s good at taking people for granted, even though he never means to, and while he likes Finn an awful lot, he never really spares much thought for what Finn might need from him.
Finn, on the other hand, is terrified by all this new stuff he’s discovering about himself, but it’s sort of liberating at the same time. Like crawling out from under a heavy blanket and feeling the breeze on his face for the first time. He’s got all this freedom and he has no idea what to do with any of it. Which is sort of how he got himself into this situation in the first place.
12) Beastie Boys -- I Don’t Know
What's pleasing to the eye
In the delusion of my sight
Is not what I find when I reach into the light
Everything Finn thought he knew about himself and what he wanted out of life is pretty much out the window at this point. So he’s still wandering around trying to figure it out, but at least he’s finally getting a clue.
13) Bad Company -- Ready For Love
Walkin' down this rocky road,
Wondering where my life is leading,
Rollin' on, to the bitter end,
Finding out along the way,
What it takes to keep love living,
You should know how it feels, my friend
And he thinks he might be ready to figure some things out with someone else for once. In a cheesy, classic rock way, of course.
14) The Cars -- You Might Think
oh well uh you might think I'm delirious
the way I run you down
but somewhere sometimes
when you're curious
I'll be back around
Once he does figure out what he wants, he’s pretty eager to give some things a try. He has a lot of catching up to do, after all.
Bonus Tracks:
Andrew W.K. -- Party Hard
Look, Finn’s really white. Like, really white, and really Midwestern. And this song is what I think of when I think of white Midwestern boys and their suburban angst. Because what do you do when you’re young and clueless in the middle of nowhere? You drink a lot and you listen to bad music and you repress and deny, that’s what.
Beastie Boys -- The Negotiation Limerick File
I just put this song on here because I think a) Finn would totally listen to the Beastie Boys and refer to them as 'classic' (he's not wrong) and b) he would totally rock out to Negotiation Limerick File. I challenge you not to do the same.
~
_________________________________________________
* The irony, of course, is that tonight when I finished mowing the lawn I started working on something so completely different from this universe that I'm embarrassed to talk about it. Maybe later.
Well, I have finally reached a point where I feel both mixes are complete, so I will post them here, in case you're dying of curiosity about what I listen to while I write about those three idiots.*
A couple of the songs on the Kurt/Puck mix were chosen by
cinderlily during some e-mail conversation, and a couple of them appear on her fanmix as well. Because we share a brain as well as this universe, and our musical tastes just overlap that way.
Bad graphics are all my fault, as usual. Links take you to Sendspace; if that's a problem, let me know.
Best That I Can: A Kurt/Puck Mix (zip file)
1) Blow Monkeys -- Digging Your Scene
I'm like a boy among men
I'd like a permanent friend.
I'd like to think that I was just myself again.
Tell me why is it I'm digging your scene
Kurt’s been out of Ohio for a few years and he’s done a lot of growing, but he’s still pretty blindsided by his reaction to seeing Puck again. It’s a weird mixture of nostalgia for a part of his life he doesn’t necessarily miss, and attraction that frankly he is kind of disturbed by, because it’s Puck. But Puck’s grown a lot too, and he doesn’t seem to have any trouble with his attraction to Kurt, so Kurt’s just going with it.
2) Tom Jones -- Sexbomb (Peppermint Jam Mix)
No don't get me wrong ain't gonna do you no harm no
This bomb's made for lovin' and you can shoot it far
I'm your main target come and help me ignite ow
Love struck holding you tight hold me tight darlin'
Fact: One day a little over a month ago I was listening to Tom Jones, as you do, and when "Sexbomb" came on I said to myself, "Self, that is a song about Noah Puckerman and his outrageous self-confidence if I’ve ever heard one." So then I started thinking about grown-up Puck and what that would be like, and I remembered how I’d always kind of wanted to remix
cinderlily’s one Glee futurefic, and the rest is history.
All because I really liked the image of Puck singing "Sexbomb". So hey, thanks, Tom Jones. Then I wrote that one fic where Puck promises Kurt a lap dance, and ever since then Puck’s been lap dancing to this song in my head. I haven’t written the lap dance fic because I’m lazy, but I promised Liz, so I’ll get around to it someday. Probably.
3) Counting Crows -- Los Angeles
But honey I'm just trying to make some sense
Honey I'm just trying to make some friends
Baby I'm not trying to make amends
For coming to Los Angeles
They both had to go a long way from home to figure themselves out, and there are still times when L.A. just seems like a foreign country. So maybe that’s part of the reason they take so much comfort in reconnecting with a familiar face; being with someone who knows their past and their present helps things make a little more sense.
4) Hootie & the Blowfish -- Hold My Hand
Want you to hold my hand
Hold my hand
I'll take you to the promised land
Hold my hand
Maybe we can't change the world but
I wanna love you the best that, best that I can
Aw, it’s their song. It’s gross and romantic and waaaaay over the top, but that’s the whole reason Puck picked it, and it’s the reason Kurt secretly loves it even though he’ll never, ever admit it.
5) Guster -- All the Way Up to Heaven
He said to only look up
He said to never look down
Down is where we came from
He said to hope for the best
And take a load off my chest
Soon I could be happy
They come from the same place, and it’s that shared history that intensifies their connection. Things are moving pretty quickly for them, which scares Kurt a little, because again, it’s Puck, and his frame of reference for Puck is that he’s not reliable. But Puck has no problem at all with the pace, because he’s only looking forward and he knows they’re going to be just fine, as long as Kurt trusts him enough to go along for the ride.
6) Nada Surf -- Beautiful Beat
I believe our love can save me
Have to believe that it can
I want to redirect myself with you
Do you understand?
They’ve both got some pain in their past, things they tried to leave behind when they left Ohio. But no one can ever really outrun themselves, and reconnecting with someone who knows that past reminds them of that. But in a way it’s good, because it gives them both a chance to reconcile where they’ve come from and to move past it together.
7) Cyndi Lauper -- Come On Home
So come on home
When the road that you've been
Walking gets too long
Don't be scared
In case the grass you thought
Was greener isn't there
You could come on home
Kurt left Lima with big dreams, and there’s a little part of him that still feels like he’s failed. He has people who love him back home, but he never quite managed to fit in there. He still worries that his father’s a little disappointed not to have gotten the son he hoped for, no matter how much he loves Kurt. And he bailed on Broadway, which he’d built up so much in his head that he can’t help feeling like he failed, a little.
But he’s not sorry that he came to L.A. to study fashion, and he wouldn’t trade Brittany no matter how crazy she makes him, and he’s definitely not sorry to have reconnected with Puck. He always thought he’d be so much happier once he managed to leave Ohio behind completely, but Puck’s helping him learn that sometimes you really can go home again.
8) Magnetic Fields -- Smoke and Mirrors
Smoke and mirrors
Special effects
A little fear, a little sex
That's all love is
Kurt’s happy, happier than he’s ever been, really, but he can’t help worrying. He wants to trust Puck completely, and most of the time he does. He knows Puck loves him, not just because Puck says it like he’s not afraid of getting hurt, but also because of all the little things he does. The way he touches Kurt on the arm to get his attention, the way he leans across the bar to kiss Kurt hello no matter how busy he is at work, the way he smiles like Kurt’s the only person in the world.
He wants to believe it, but there’s still that tiny little part of him that whispers not good enough, and it holds him back. That’s the part of him that keeps expecting the other shoe to drop, for the bottom to fall out or for Puck to get bored and move on, because there’s no way he could really be sure that Kurt’s all he wants for the rest of his life.
9) Iron & Wine -- Cinder and Smoke
Give me your hand
And take what you will tonight, I'll give it as fast
And high as the flame will rise
This is a song about a house fire. I know. Partly I put it on here because I would give...well, a lot to hear Mark Salling sing Iron & Wine. But at its most basic the message is that Puck would do anything at all for Kurt, he would set fire to every bit of their shared history that holds Kurt back if he could. He’d do whatever it takes to make Kurt see that he means it when he says ‘forever’.
10) Guster -- I Hope Tomorrow Is Like Today
I hope tomorrow is like today
Don't you go away tomorrow
I don't think I could handle that
As Liz says, at his heart, Puck is a hopeless romantic. He sowed a lot of wild oats and he never took all that much seriously, but becoming a father showed him that there’s more to connecting with people than just sex. For a long time he wasn’t sure he was good enough for someone to feel that way about him, but if Kurt can love him even knowing everything he does about Puck, there’s no way he’s going to let that go. Basically this song is about how much he loves belonging to somebody, and how hard he’s going to hold onto that.
11) Daft Punk -- Something About Us
It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there's something about us I want to say
Cause there's something between us anyway
Puck knows he’s moving pretty fast, but he figures when you find something amazing, you should hold onto it. Kurt’s pretty much right there with him, which scares the hell out of him, because what if they’re wrong? But he knows if he does screw this up he’ll regret it for the rest of his life, so he’s trying not to.
12) Jenny Owen Youngs -- Have You Forgotten (Red House Painters cover)
I can't let you be
‘cause your beauty won't allow me
wrapped in white sheets
like an angel from a bedtime story
Kurt’s the one with the doubts, and Puck’s the one left trying to convince him that no matter what he might think, Puck’s the lucky one here. It’s a weird sort of role reversal, and it’s a lot of work, but Puck’s pretty stubborn.
13) Ben Folds -- The Luckiest
I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
This song makes me cry, but Liz said I had to include it anyway because it’s sappy and romantic and totally them. And she’s right, of course, because she’s always right. They didn’t get things right the first time, but that’s okay, because they both needed time to grow up and learn who they were before they could be with each other.
Bonus track: How Lovely to Be A Woman (performed by Susan Watson)
It’s not a Caroline mix without a) gross amounts of romantic music, b) at least one cover song, and c) some song that overtly mocks what complete dorks the characters are. I was looking for a showtune I could include on here, for obvious reasons, and I was listening to "Bye, Bye Birdie", and once I listened to this song again I just couldn’t not include it.
I mean, okay, it is kind of mean, I know. But a) they are both kind of chicks about their relationship, and b) the lyrics talk about growing from that awkward, self-conscious stage of life into a self-assured young adult, and that’s exactly what they both had to do before they were ready to be together. So it fits. (Also, Kurt is a pretty princess, and he has no one to blame for that but himself.)
~
99 Problems: The Fanmix (zip file)
1) Nada Surf -- Popular
I'm head of the class (I'm popular)
I'm a quarterback (I'm popular)
My mom says I'm a catch (I'm popular)
I'm never last picked
I got a cheerleader chick
Finn Hudson, high school-era. This has been his frame of reference for so long that he’s having a little trouble adjusting to the new self-image that’s being forced upon him by the reality that he has to grow up sometime.
2) Richard Cheese -- Hot For Teacher
I think of all the education that I've missed
But then my homework was never quite like this
I went back and forth re: whether to include this version or the original version for so long. But I finally settled on the cheesy lounge cover, because it’s Finn, and cheesy + Finn = LOL forever. (I mock because I love. No, really.) If you’d like the original version, it’s here.
All mocking aside, my issue with Will/Finn is the power imbalance inherent in their relationship. It’s a weird dynamic, even once Will’s not his teacher anymore, and it would be weirder for Will, who’s dealt with student crushes and is clearly not the type to take advantage of them. So it’s a big uphill climb to get past thinking of themselves as teacher/student and start thinking of each other as people.
3) Cake -- Short Skirt, Long Jacket
And at the city bank
We will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk
When she borrows my pen
Every time I hear this song I think, “Sure you do, Finn.” Then I cackle to myself, because I am just that lame. The thing is, though, Finn thinks he knows what he wants, and he figures one of these days it’ll come along when he’s not even looking. The problem with his theory is that he’s not looking for the right thing, so how’s he going to know when it finds him?
4) Limp Bizkit -- Faith/Blind
but I gotta think twice
before I give my heart away
and I know all the games you play
'cause I play them too
Is there anything more fitting for a Finn mix than a pop-punk cover of an anthem to love by a really gay dude? I submit that there is not. I left the hidden track intact because Finn’s all about defying expectations, yo. Except for the part where he totally, totally isn’t.
5) Jay-Z & Linkin Park -- Points Of Authority/99 Problems
If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
I include this particular remix because a) Linkin Park rules, and their collaborations with Jay-Z do the originals by both artists a tremendous amount of justice, and b) it’s funnier if Finn listens to the white boy remix of a song about racism, like that makes it in any way more relatable to his life.
6) Beyonce -- If I Were A Boy
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
Oh, don’t look at me like that.
7) Kasabian -- Club Foot
I tell you I want you
I'll tell you I need you
I... the blood ain’t on my face
Just wanted you near me
The thing with not knowing what you want is that you still want, and if you can’t put your finger on what you’re reaching for, you’re probably not going to hit your mark. In Finn’s case, he knows he wants to be around Will, and he knows he sometimes thinks thoughts that he never would have expected to think. He just doesn’t know what to do about it, and it’s starting to get to him.
8) Kings Of Leon -- Crawl
You better learn to crawl
You better learn to crawl
Before I walk away
Before I walk away
Finn’s starting to figure it out. It’s a painfully slow process, but he’s working through it. But the thing is, it would be a little easier if Will would get on board and help.
9) Bloc Party -- Like Eating Glass
And it hurts all the time when you don't return my calls
And you haven't got the time to remember how it was
Once Finn does figure out what he wants, he has to come to terms with the fact that he probably isn’t going to get it. They’ve related to each other in such a specific way for so long that he doesn’t know how to change that, and he’s afraid he might not be able to.
10) Jayhawks -- Save It For a Rainy Day
You never make your mind up
Like driving with your eyes shut
Rough around the edges
Won't someone come and take you home
Nobody’s making the first move, and it’s frustrating because Finn sort of wants to, but if he does he might lose the person who’s come to be his best friend, somehow. He doesn’t even know how that happened, but it’s a lot to risk.
11) Eddie From Ohio -- Fifth Of July
we're now on our own
for the first of our lives
on the fifth of july
now what
This is a song about pets. It’s a song about pets that are neglected and looking for a way out of their mundane routines, basically. Part of the reason I chose it is because of the band name, which is a lousy reason to choose a song. But the pets allegory really applies to Finn and Will’s relationship, in a very sad way. Will’s good at taking people for granted, even though he never means to, and while he likes Finn an awful lot, he never really spares much thought for what Finn might need from him.
Finn, on the other hand, is terrified by all this new stuff he’s discovering about himself, but it’s sort of liberating at the same time. Like crawling out from under a heavy blanket and feeling the breeze on his face for the first time. He’s got all this freedom and he has no idea what to do with any of it. Which is sort of how he got himself into this situation in the first place.
12) Beastie Boys -- I Don’t Know
What's pleasing to the eye
In the delusion of my sight
Is not what I find when I reach into the light
Everything Finn thought he knew about himself and what he wanted out of life is pretty much out the window at this point. So he’s still wandering around trying to figure it out, but at least he’s finally getting a clue.
13) Bad Company -- Ready For Love
Walkin' down this rocky road,
Wondering where my life is leading,
Rollin' on, to the bitter end,
Finding out along the way,
What it takes to keep love living,
You should know how it feels, my friend
And he thinks he might be ready to figure some things out with someone else for once. In a cheesy, classic rock way, of course.
14) The Cars -- You Might Think
oh well uh you might think I'm delirious
the way I run you down
but somewhere sometimes
when you're curious
I'll be back around
Once he does figure out what he wants, he’s pretty eager to give some things a try. He has a lot of catching up to do, after all.
Bonus Tracks:
Andrew W.K. -- Party Hard
Look, Finn’s really white. Like, really white, and really Midwestern. And this song is what I think of when I think of white Midwestern boys and their suburban angst. Because what do you do when you’re young and clueless in the middle of nowhere? You drink a lot and you listen to bad music and you repress and deny, that’s what.
Beastie Boys -- The Negotiation Limerick File
I just put this song on here because I think a) Finn would totally listen to the Beastie Boys and refer to them as 'classic' (he's not wrong) and b) he would totally rock out to Negotiation Limerick File. I challenge you not to do the same.
~
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* The irony, of course, is that tonight when I finished mowing the lawn I started working on something so completely different from this universe that I'm embarrassed to talk about it. Maybe later.