The Subtext Report, minus the subtext.
Talking directly to the camera = LAME. You know I love Nick best of all, but that was weak.
Also weak: that skydiver chick's 'acting'. Not Charisma, the other one. Though Charisma wasn't exactly great shakes either, so maybe it's the writers. What am I saying? It's always the writers.
It's a little weird watching Greg Germann play a religious crazy. Not that I follow his career or anything, but I'm used to seeing him play characters like Fish. Also crazy, but a different kind of crazy.
Nick is wearing a dorky shirt and spending way too much time with Riley. Once again we're halfway through and there's no sign of Nick's boyfriend. I mean come on, writers. What the hell? And no, watching Nick say 'whores' is not enough to make up for it. Even if that was totally adorable.
Look at that, 9:31 and Greg finally shows up. He's wearing a jacket; maybe he was in court or something. And what do you know, he's out on a call featuring Lindsay Korman, aka Teresa of Passions. Nice to see she can still cry and act hysterical! That was always her strength on the soaps too. I'd say it's nice when fandoms collide, but I honestly didn't care if I never saw her again.
Is it just me, or does the voiceover guy from the Outback commercials sound exactly like Anthony Wiggle? I swear it's him. He's my favorite Wiggle, I pay attention to his voice. What? It's okay to have a favorite Wiggle when your niece and nephew are really into them.
Good God, it took them long enough to get to the biohazard storyline. This episode is SO BORING.
OMG, Henry, YOUR STUPID FACE. You almost made this episode worth wasting an hour of my life. Almost. Officer Andy was pretty adorable too. Has he been on before? I don't remember him.
It should be illegal for Mike Rowe to try to sell me stuff. Every time I hear him assuring me that a Ford is a good investment in this uncertain economy, I want to go trade in my car. That I still have two and a half years to pay on.
Oh God, I hope Harper's Island isn't as bad as the previews make it look. And I hope C.J. doesn't die in the first episode. Though if he does, I won't have to watch anymore.
Good LORD the exposition in this episode just takes the cake. The crying Frenchmen! The ridiculous explanation! Nick teasing Greg about his screenplay! Okay, that part was cute. "Hollyweird". Nick, you dork. I've read Aeschylus, Ray. He's an acquired taste. And the thing with the turtle shell was pretty stupid. So it really worked pretty well with this episode. Awesome.
At least Nick didn't turn out to be in mortal danger after all? Though once they ditch Riley and go home, I'm sure Greg will jokingly fret about the possibility that one of them could have had heart failure tonight, and Nick will suggest they shower before bed just to make sure there's none of that stuff on them, and by the time they're wet and naked Greg will forget all about the fact that his man is a walking target.
Seriously, did George and Eric get caught making out in one of their trailers or something? I can't think of another reason the writers insist on keeping them so far apart. For awhile they were doing pretty well with mixing things up, but lately it's gotten just as dreadful as season six. This is why I stopped watching, people. Give me something to work with here.
Next week: Hodges is a Trekkie! Awesome. I will reserve judgment on what appear to be dream/evilverse sequences. Because...yeah. The idea of Wendy and Hodges is weirding me out a little. Is she not canonically a lesbian? I probably inferred that in a subtext report once and then just remembered it as canon. Still, though. I like her better as a lesbian. 'Cause she's hot, duh.
I always forget what a dorky smile Christopher Gorham has. I mean, adorable, but dorky. Adorkable.
You know what would be awesome? If C.J. turns out to be the killer. I mean, so far this show is painfully boring, but if C.J. gets to be the guy, then it would be worth it. Sort of. Almost. Okay, not really. Also, I am not that lucky. Oh, C.J. You will never know the sacrifices I make for you. And all because of a movie you're probably ashamed you ever made. He hasn't even shown up on this thing yet, in case you're wondering. But he still has 22 minutes before he reaches Greg levels of lame.
Oh look, The Exposition Girls! At least they have a cute little dog with them.
10:15 and he makes an appearance! All covered in fish guts and being the poor kid and stuff. Aw, he's so cute still. Even if he's hitting on the moody girl instead of thinking about Harlan. Though he kind of makes me want to write a Harlan/Marcus Deadliest Catch AU. Relax, I'm not actually going to. I am barely writing the Suicide Kings one. I just really like Deadliest Catch is all. And it's not my fault they covered him in fish guts.
I sort of feel like I'm watching a bad remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer. Which means C.J. = Johnny Galecki in this scenario. Sort of. Fandoms are colliding all over the place tonight! Or else I am really, really bored.
It's seriously only been half an hour? Oh my God, someone DIE already. Besides the dude in the water, and if that's the only body this week I am going to be pissed. I could be staring morosely at fic that won't write itself right now, C.J. Thomason. I'm just not entirely sure you're worth this.
It took me this long to realize that Christopher's playing another total dork named Henry. Way to get yourself typecast, Gorham. They should have gone with Ryan Merriman, though I see now why they didn't. He's adorable, but he's got that 'trying to be a bad boy' vibe that wouldn't have played with the sweet-and-innocent character on this show. Shame, because I'd really prefer Ryan at this point. Probably because he's not in this piece of crap.
I'm sorry your new project sucks so much, C.J. A paycheck's a paycheck, I know, and it's network and not during the day like your first job, but man. I don't know how much more of this show I can take. And let's face it, baby, your acting skills haven't improved that much. Though I still contend that that he was the best actor in Brotherhood II, so I'm not sure why Sean Faris is more famous than him. He's cuter than Sean, too.
Good God. How are there still 20 minutes left?
I hope it's clear that the only reason I am liveblogging this show is to keep myself awake. But in case it's not, I am only liveblogging this show so I don't fall asleep. I hope that you found something better to do with your hour. Like watch Southland, which I heard has a canonically gay cop, and is probably a much better use of your time.
Well, at least there was one more dead body in the first episode. I wonder how pissed Harry Hamlin is that he died first.
We are supposed to be getting some kind of horrendous weather tomorrow evening, so I'm going to try to head to the pottery studio in the morning. Mostly for the novelty of being able to go on a week day. Then I have to work out, but after that I am definitely going to be working on fic requests. For real. I made some progress today and everything. Not on any actual requests, but let's not split hairs.
Also to do this weekend: Find a prettypretty Jeffrey Donovan icon. (Beside the Touching Evil Rivers/Creegan icon I have where you can't really tell who either of them are. Though I love it anyway.) I feel that my efforts to stalk him via Twitter are incomplete if I do not have an icon to use when I post about stalking him on Twitter.