This post is mainly for the benefit of Liz, because I love her.
So I've been thinking a lot lately about music and how it informs my writing, and I really wanted to talk about it and find out how other people use music as a part of their fannish experience. I mean, I know there are vids and soundtracks and fanmixes and all that stuff, and there are so many different ways to go about creating each of those things. Some people choose songs based on what they think the characters would listen to, others, like myself, use the music to describe the story they're trying to tell about the characters.
My mixes usually start with a single song that makes me think of the pairing in question. Sometimes that song will inspire a fic, sometimes it will just inspire me to spend a lot of time thinking about backstory (which usually inspires fic), and as I keep listening to that one song over and over, I start to pick out other songs that create the same feeling. It all happens really organically for me, which sounds like an easy process, but the truth is that it takes me forever to get a mix just right.
I pick out my songs one by one, sometimes over a period of weeks, and then I start listening to them, rearranging the order over and over until the flow is perfect. If there's a particular song that stands out too much, I take it off the mix. Sometimes that's really painful, but in the end it's worth it, because when I finally come to a place where I can listen to the entire playlist without really paying attention to it, then I know it's perfect.
And then I write 8000 words of cabin porn, which is what happened yesterday when I finally found the magic combination of music that brought my Morgan/Reid playlist together.
I'm curious about the role music plays in your fannish experience. It's different for everyone, so tell me your story. And while you are thinking about it, here, have some more music. These are the songs that, to me at least, say Morgan♥Reid.
Zip file, in case you just want to download the whole thing at once: Sideways: A Morgan/Reid Mix
ETA: The individual song files are expired, but I will try to keep the zip file active. If you try to download it and find you can't, let me know and I'll upload again.
1) Counting Crows -- Mercy
I got a feeling
of unrighteousness
bitter cold
hollow bitterness
but down this road
I walk with loneliness
mercy will follow me I'm told
It takes a certain kind of person to work the kind of job these two work. They set themselves up for a pretty lonely life for a reason; we all know what their past traumas are, but I like to think they live with a little bit of hope as well.
2) Adorable -- Homeboy
I never understood what it meant to be
I never understood what it meant to be misunderstood
And even if I did, I don't think I'd care less
You're so beautiful
Morgan doesn't get everything about Reid, but it doesn't matter, because he loves him anyway. (I keep pushing this old song, I know. But it's a great all-purpose go-to slash song, with the moodiness and the obsession and okay, maybe that's just *my* slash.)
3) Sufjan Stevens -- Chicago
I fell in love again
all things go, all things go
drove to Chicago
all things know, all things know
we sold our clothes to the state
I don't mind, I don't mind
I made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind
The obvious reason for this one is that Morgan's from Chicago. But it's a song about living life without regret, and I like to think they can both find a way to do that together.
4) Poco -- Keep On Tryin'
And I feel so satisfied when
I can see you smile
I want to confide in
All that is true, so I'll
Keep on tryin' I'm
Through with lyin'
Just like the sun above
I'll come shining through
There's nothing easy about their relationship, because they're both damaged and they have the added complication of working together in intense situations. But they're learning how to take comfort in the small moments they do get, and it's enough.
5) Weepies -- All This Beauty
I can see you're new awake
Let me assure you, friend
Every day is ice cream and chocolate cake
And what you make of it
Let me just say
You get what you take
From it, so be amazed
And never stop...
You gotta be brave.
It's easier to see the beauty in the world when they're together, and that makes it a little easier to bear the ugliness they have to see.
6) Mountain Goats -- Love Love Love
Some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun,
But the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one.
Love love is going to lead you by the hand
Into a white and soundless place.
Now we see things as in a mirror dimly.
Then we shall see each other face to face.
Reid has no idea what he's doing, but he knows Morgan loves him, and he knows he can trust Morgan above anyone else in his life, so he's taking a chance. And so far, he likes the places love has led him. Also, the literary references speak to the Reid inside my head.
7) Citizen Cope -- Sideways*
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
I'm not gonna lie: whenever I hear this song, I think about Morgan and sex. He's tried to talk himself out of wanting Reid, because their relationship would be way more complicated than Morgan's used to dealing with, but when it's right, it's right, and he's learned that sometimes you just can't fight it.
8) Let's Go Sailing -- Sideways
I have no problems
Dipping in my feet
But the trouble comes when
I have to jump.
And all the reasons not to
Seem pretty good
At the time
Cause I’ve been walking
I’ve been thinking
I’ve been looking at you
Sideways.
Reid, on the other hand, is much more pragmatic about his feelings. He spends a lot of time thinking about Morgan and the way he feels, watching and weighing the consequences and quietly panicking until finally he just goes for it. And it turns out to be the best decision he's ever made.
9) Crosby, Stills & Nash -- Our House
Our house is a very, very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy
'Cause of you
I know. I KNOW, okay? I told you this was a sappy mix. This is a great song, though, and it's a nice nod to my little house flipping series, which started this entire love affair, so it deserves to be highlighted. I was going to put Phantom Planet's remake on here just to keep the sound a little more contemporary, but the original is so far superior that I couldn't do it.
10) Ben Kweller -- Penny On the Train Track
Stoppin' in somebody's old home town
Gotta get that midnight meal
If you can't get behind your own life
Get behind the driving wheel
And go, just go
Find a place that you don't know
They spend so much time on the road, chasing whatever that missing piece is that will make them whole again. So when they find it in each other, it's not really that surprising.
11) Nada Surf -- I Like What You Say
They say you have to have somebody
They say you have to be someone
They say if you’re not lonely alone
Boy there is something wrong
You say and I like what you say
I like what you say
They may not always get each other, but it doesn't matter because they're enjoying the process of trying to figure it out.
12) Hellogoodbye -- Oh, It Is Love
Oh dear
It's been hardly a moment
And you are already missed
There is still a bit of your skin
That I've yet to have kissed
Oh say please do not go
But you know, oh, you know that I must
Oh say I love you so
Funnily enough, this very sappy love song is the one that started this mix. It's that first rush of 'wow, he loves me too' and the joy of getting to know every inch of each other, and the misery at being apart even for a little while. I like to think of Morgan and Reid happy and in love, because that's what they deserve.
Bonus track: Nada Surf -- I Wanna Take You Home
Come over my way
Give me the time of day
Up close you're brighter than the sun
Can I be your only one?
The first two lines of this song are: "I wanna take you home/See your books and your shoes". I think that sums up the way Morgan thinks about Reid pretty well.
* I went back and forth for awhile about the merits of having two (vastly different) songs with the same title on this mix, but in the end they were so perfect for such different reasons that I left them. And since they illustrate the two sides of this particular coin so well, I put them next to each other. And since I was doing that, it seemed like a good idea to go ahead and use "Sideways" as the name of the entire mix.
My mixes usually start with a single song that makes me think of the pairing in question. Sometimes that song will inspire a fic, sometimes it will just inspire me to spend a lot of time thinking about backstory (which usually inspires fic), and as I keep listening to that one song over and over, I start to pick out other songs that create the same feeling. It all happens really organically for me, which sounds like an easy process, but the truth is that it takes me forever to get a mix just right.
I pick out my songs one by one, sometimes over a period of weeks, and then I start listening to them, rearranging the order over and over until the flow is perfect. If there's a particular song that stands out too much, I take it off the mix. Sometimes that's really painful, but in the end it's worth it, because when I finally come to a place where I can listen to the entire playlist without really paying attention to it, then I know it's perfect.
And then I write 8000 words of cabin porn, which is what happened yesterday when I finally found the magic combination of music that brought my Morgan/Reid playlist together.
I'm curious about the role music plays in your fannish experience. It's different for everyone, so tell me your story. And while you are thinking about it, here, have some more music. These are the songs that, to me at least, say Morgan♥Reid.
Zip file, in case you just want to download the whole thing at once: Sideways: A Morgan/Reid Mix
ETA: The individual song files are expired, but I will try to keep the zip file active. If you try to download it and find you can't, let me know and I'll upload again.
1) Counting Crows -- Mercy
I got a feeling
of unrighteousness
bitter cold
hollow bitterness
but down this road
I walk with loneliness
mercy will follow me I'm told
It takes a certain kind of person to work the kind of job these two work. They set themselves up for a pretty lonely life for a reason; we all know what their past traumas are, but I like to think they live with a little bit of hope as well.
2) Adorable -- Homeboy
I never understood what it meant to be
I never understood what it meant to be misunderstood
And even if I did, I don't think I'd care less
You're so beautiful
Morgan doesn't get everything about Reid, but it doesn't matter, because he loves him anyway. (I keep pushing this old song, I know. But it's a great all-purpose go-to slash song, with the moodiness and the obsession and okay, maybe that's just *my* slash.)
3) Sufjan Stevens -- Chicago
I fell in love again
all things go, all things go
drove to Chicago
all things know, all things know
we sold our clothes to the state
I don't mind, I don't mind
I made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind
The obvious reason for this one is that Morgan's from Chicago. But it's a song about living life without regret, and I like to think they can both find a way to do that together.
4) Poco -- Keep On Tryin'
And I feel so satisfied when
I can see you smile
I want to confide in
All that is true, so I'll
Keep on tryin' I'm
Through with lyin'
Just like the sun above
I'll come shining through
There's nothing easy about their relationship, because they're both damaged and they have the added complication of working together in intense situations. But they're learning how to take comfort in the small moments they do get, and it's enough.
5) Weepies -- All This Beauty
I can see you're new awake
Let me assure you, friend
Every day is ice cream and chocolate cake
And what you make of it
Let me just say
You get what you take
From it, so be amazed
And never stop...
You gotta be brave.
It's easier to see the beauty in the world when they're together, and that makes it a little easier to bear the ugliness they have to see.
6) Mountain Goats -- Love Love Love
Some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun,
But the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one.
Love love is going to lead you by the hand
Into a white and soundless place.
Now we see things as in a mirror dimly.
Then we shall see each other face to face.
Reid has no idea what he's doing, but he knows Morgan loves him, and he knows he can trust Morgan above anyone else in his life, so he's taking a chance. And so far, he likes the places love has led him. Also, the literary references speak to the Reid inside my head.
7) Citizen Cope -- Sideways*
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
I'm not gonna lie: whenever I hear this song, I think about Morgan and sex. He's tried to talk himself out of wanting Reid, because their relationship would be way more complicated than Morgan's used to dealing with, but when it's right, it's right, and he's learned that sometimes you just can't fight it.
8) Let's Go Sailing -- Sideways
I have no problems
Dipping in my feet
But the trouble comes when
I have to jump.
And all the reasons not to
Seem pretty good
At the time
Cause I’ve been walking
I’ve been thinking
I’ve been looking at you
Sideways.
Reid, on the other hand, is much more pragmatic about his feelings. He spends a lot of time thinking about Morgan and the way he feels, watching and weighing the consequences and quietly panicking until finally he just goes for it. And it turns out to be the best decision he's ever made.
9) Crosby, Stills & Nash -- Our House
Our house is a very, very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy
'Cause of you
I know. I KNOW, okay? I told you this was a sappy mix. This is a great song, though, and it's a nice nod to my little house flipping series, which started this entire love affair, so it deserves to be highlighted. I was going to put Phantom Planet's remake on here just to keep the sound a little more contemporary, but the original is so far superior that I couldn't do it.
10) Ben Kweller -- Penny On the Train Track
Stoppin' in somebody's old home town
Gotta get that midnight meal
If you can't get behind your own life
Get behind the driving wheel
And go, just go
Find a place that you don't know
They spend so much time on the road, chasing whatever that missing piece is that will make them whole again. So when they find it in each other, it's not really that surprising.
11) Nada Surf -- I Like What You Say
They say you have to have somebody
They say you have to be someone
They say if you’re not lonely alone
Boy there is something wrong
You say and I like what you say
I like what you say
They may not always get each other, but it doesn't matter because they're enjoying the process of trying to figure it out.
12) Hellogoodbye -- Oh, It Is Love
Oh dear
It's been hardly a moment
And you are already missed
There is still a bit of your skin
That I've yet to have kissed
Oh say please do not go
But you know, oh, you know that I must
Oh say I love you so
Funnily enough, this very sappy love song is the one that started this mix. It's that first rush of 'wow, he loves me too' and the joy of getting to know every inch of each other, and the misery at being apart even for a little while. I like to think of Morgan and Reid happy and in love, because that's what they deserve.
Bonus track: Nada Surf -- I Wanna Take You Home
Come over my way
Give me the time of day
Up close you're brighter than the sun
Can I be your only one?
The first two lines of this song are: "I wanna take you home/See your books and your shoes". I think that sums up the way Morgan thinks about Reid pretty well.
* I went back and forth for awhile about the merits of having two (vastly different) songs with the same title on this mix, but in the end they were so perfect for such different reasons that I left them. And since they illustrate the two sides of this particular coin so well, I put them next to each other. And since I was doing that, it seemed like a good idea to go ahead and use "Sideways" as the name of the entire mix.