Fic: Stupid Cupid 32/42 (Xena, Cupid/Strife, NC17)
Title: Stupid Cupid
Fandom: Xena
Pairing: Cupid/Strife
Rating: NC17
Summary: An AU that sprang from a challenge posted on the AJCS list, in which Strife is the lead singer in a punk band and a teenage Cupid falls in love.
By the time Cupid finished washing up and made it back downstairs his mother was in full flirt mode. He hadn’t seen her like that for a long time, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact that she was flirting with somebody he knew. Somebody who’d given him a C+ on the spice rack she still sitting on the kitchen counter and blown his GPA for the first half of his sophomore year. The whole thing was just a little weird, starting with the fact that his mom actually invited her boyfriend to the house, and ending with the fact that it was someone Cupid already knew.
It hadn’t really bothered him when his father introduced him to Joxer for the first time. This was his mom, though, and he was used to having her more or less to himself. He knew she had a life, but she’d kept it away from him for so long that he couldn’t help thinking that having her boyfriend over to meet him meant…something. He hadn't figured out what exactly it meant yet, but in a way it made him feel a little better to know that she wouldn't be completely alone once he moved to the city.
When he got to the dining room Heph was already sitting down, and Cupid slid into the chair across from him and crossed his arms over his chest. "So how long have you been dating my mom?"
Heph had that sickly nervous grin going, like he was either going to start laughing his head off or throw up on his shoes any second. Cupid wasn't sure what his mother had told the guy to make Heph so nervous about having dinner with him, but he had to admit it was kind of funny to watch. He'd always been nice enough when Cupid was in his class, but Cupid had never been all that good at carpentry so he hadn't paid much attention in Shop. In fact he'd spent most of his time in Heph's class wondering how he'd gotten the scar that marked one side of his face and most of his left arm. There were a lot of different stories around school about it, but most of them he was pretty sure weren't true. Now that he knew his mom was dating the guy he could finally found out the real story, anyway.
"We've…uh…I guess we've been seeing each other for about a year now," Heph finally answered, the nervous grin giving way to a thoughtful expression for a second before it came right back again. Cupid decided that he looked better when he didn't smile; the jacket and tie pretty much ruined the affect, but when he wasn't grinning like an idiot the scar kind of made him look dangerous.
"So are you guys gonna get married or what?"
That did the trick; Heph definitely wasn't smiling anymore, but he didn't really look all that dangerous while he was staring at Cupid like a deer caught in somebody's headlights. He almost felt sorry for the guy until he remembered that they'd more or less ambushed him with this dinner party, so he shrugged off the guilt and held the other man's gaze as he waited for an answer.
"We've talked about it," Heph finally said, and Cupid had to give the guy points for honesty. Most people would have stammered through a few half-sentences before they finally came up with an excuse about having something caught in their throat and high-tailed it for the kitchen. "Does that bother you?"
He'd almost forgotten how good teachers could be at turning the tables in the middle of an interrogation. They were a lot like therapists in that respect, but Cupid had lived with a therapist long enough to keep himself from getting caught off guard. Instead of answering he just shrugged noncommittally and leaned back in his chair, raising a single eyebrow at the older man. "She told you I'm gay, right?"
Heph's mouth opened, but before he managed to squeak out an answer the kitchen door swung open, and both of them looked up in time to watch Dite carry the roast into the dining room. "Oh, Cupid, good," she said, oblivious to the tension hanging in the air between the two men, "I was just getting ready to send out a search party. I think we're ready to eat."
He grinned indulgently, completely ignoring the fact that both of them looked nervous now. "Looks great, Mom."
"Here's hoping," Dite muttered under her breath. Suddenly Cupid wondered if this was the first time she'd ever cooked for the guy; if they'd been dating for a year she must have showed off her cooking skills before now, either at his place or while Cupid was in New York visiting his father. She seemed kind of jumpy, though, and he couldn't imagine it was just because he was meeting her boyfriend for the first time.
He'd never been one of those kids that was particularly protective of his mother; she wouldn't stand for it, for one thing, and anyway he was usually too busy worrying about the next time his father was going to screw up his life. But suddenly he felt like kicking Heph under the table until he said something nice about his mom's cooking.
"It looks fantastic, Dite," Heph said almost as soon as he finished the thought, and Cupid blinked and reached for his glass of water to hide his smile. "You've really outdone yourself tonight."
And okay, the guy couldn't be all bad if he could make Cupid's mom smile like that. She looked younger with her face all lit up, kind of like she'd looked when he was a kid and they were all still pretending that they were a normal family. It made him wonder how long she'd been in love with his Shop teacher, and more importantly, if Heph was the kind of guy that deserved a woman like his mom.
"So how'd you two meet?" Cupid asked, glancing up from the food his mother had piled onto his plate.
"Your grandfather introduced us, actually," Dite answered, glancing at Heph long enough to give him a shy smile that would have made Cupid roll his eyes under any other circumstances. "Heph does antique restoration when he's not teaching, and he fixed that old Hoosier cabinet that your Grandma loves so much. Dad thought we'd hit it off, so he gave Heph my number."
"It took him another three weeks to convince me to call," Heph added, grinning sheepishly when Dite reached over and squeezed his hand. "He showed me a picture of your mom and I knew there was no way someone as beautiful as her would ever go out with me. I'm still trying to figure out how I got so lucky."
Dite shook her head, smiling a little sadly before she let go of Heph's hand. "Please, I'm the lucky one. I owe Dad for setting us up, and he hasn't let me forget it yet."
Okay, that was a little too cute for Cupid, but if his mom was happy he wasn't going to ruin it for her by acting like a kid and getting all grossed out. Not tonight, anyway; there would be plenty of time to make fun of both of them once he'd spent a little time with Heph. "So what's the occasion?" Cupid asked, drawing their attention back to the fact that he was still in the room. "I mean why the introductions finally after a year of keeping it a secret?"
Dite arched her eyebrows at Heph, but he just shrugged helplessly. "He asked me how long we've been seeing each other," he admitted, and Cupid had to struggle not to laugh at the way Heph shrank a little under Dite's stare.
"We weren't trying to keep it a secret, Cupid," she said when she turned back to him. "Not really. But while you were still in school I thought it would be easier for you this way. Just to keep things as uncomplicated as possible."
"What your mom means is that she didn't want you to have to see me around school all the time if it turned out you hated the idea of us going out," Heph added, matching Cupid's smirk with one of his own. Dite sighed dramatically at the two of them, but she didn't argue because all three of them knew that it was true.
"And now…?" Cupid prompted, turning his attention back to his mother. He really wanted to get back to the subject of potential wedding bells, if only to confuse the conversation enough to bring up the fact that he was planning to move out. He didn't want to just blurt it out again, though; his mother would see right through that tactic.
"And now we think you're ready to deal with the fact that Heph and I are getting serious."
"Getting?"
"Yes, and that's all you need to know for now," she answered, giving him a look that told him he wasn't getting anything else out of her.
He stifled a sigh and frowned down at his dinner for a moment. Okay, so distracting her with wedding plans wasn't going to work, but he could try a different tactic that might work just as well. "I'm happy for you guys, really," he said, looking up and smiling innocently at both of them. "I mean I was a little worried about leaving you all by yourself, but now that I know you've got Heph I don't need to worry about it."
"Leaving? What are you talking about?" Dite asked, the hand that was holding her wine glass freezing in mid-air.
"Come on, Mom, you don't expect me to commute all the way to the city for college, do you?" he asked in a tone that implied that even suggesting it would be ridiculous. "It'll be a lot easier if I just move up there. Dad already said I could use the loft, that way he'll be around to make sure I don't do anything stupid and you won't have to worry about me taking the train home every night."
For a long moment Dite just stared at him without saying anything, and he began to squirm uncomfortably under her gaze when she finally shook her head. "No. Absolutely not. I won't have you living alone in the city, Cupid. You're too young."
"Mom, I just told you…"
"Living above the karate studio isn't the same as staying with him. If you were planning to move into Ares' and Joxer's place it would be one thing, but all by yourself in that loft? No."
"But that's the thing. I won't be alone. Strife's moving in with me."
Later he'd probably realize that that wasn't the best way to break the news to her, but at the moment he was too busy enjoying the spectacle of seeing his mother speechless for the first time. For as long as he could remember she'd always had something to say about every situation, regardless of whether or not it was any of her business. It was such a novelty to see his mother staring at him with her mouth open that he forgot all about the man sitting across from him until Heph cleared his throat.
"Strife?" he repeated, his expression telling Cupid that he regretted drawing attention to his presence as soon as he'd said it.
"My boyfriend," Cupid answered before turning his attention back to his mother. "Mom, you didn't really think I was going to stay in Neptune forever, did you?"
"Of course not," she said, finally snapping out of her shock long enough to answer him. "I knew you'd want to move to the city eventually, but…moving in with Strife? Honey, have you really thought this through? You haven't been seeing him for that long, and this is a big step."
He managed somehow not to roll his eyes at the question that everyone seemed to be asking. If they knew how he felt about Strife they'd understand, but there was no way he could make them see what he was feeling. He knew things would work out exactly the way he envisioned them, and everyone else would see soon enough that he'd been right. "I've thought about it. We both have. This is what we want."
"And your father's okay with this?"
"Yeah, he's helping us fix up the loft." Cupid frowned at his mother's expression, unable for once to tell whether or not she was going to put her foot down. Not that she really had much to say about it once he turned eighteen, but he didn't want to alienate her if he didn’t have to. "Come on, Mom, this way is best for everybody. You can even help with the decorating if you want."
"I have to talk it over with Joxer," she said, shaking her head when she saw his hopeful expression. "Don't get too excited, I said I'd talk to him. I haven't made a decision yet."
"Joxer?" Heph interjected. "I'm sorry, I know it's not really any of my business, but wouldn't you want to talk it over with Ares?"
"Please, Ares is completely useless when it comes to things like this. He gives Cupid whatever he wants, always has. Joxer's much more sensible," Dite answered. "Besides, he's Strife's uncle. If anybody's going to know whether or not this is a bad idea, it's him."
"Mom talks everything over with Joxer," Cupid added, grinning at Heph's surprised expression. "What, she didn't mention that? I bet she's already told him all about you."
He laughed at the blush that colored the older man's cheeks, shaking his head and turning his attention back to his dinner. There was nothing to worry about now; when Dite said she was going to talk to Joxer that meant that she just wanted to hear him tell her it was okay before she gave in to whatever Cupid wanted. She hated saying no to him just as much as Ares did, she just didn't want to admit it. So they both used Joxer as an excuse to give in and Cupid played along. It wasn't hard, and as long as everybody got what they wanted he was happy to keep his mouth shut and pretend he didn't know what was going on.
~
"I can't believe they're just giving you guys a place, just like that."
"I know." Strife grinned at the hint of jealousy in Xena's voice; he knew she'd give anything to move out of her mother's place, but it cost a fortune to find a decent place in New York, and she didn't want to move in with a bunch of people she didn't know. "Ya know, fer a guy who's always sayin' how strict his folks are, they give him pretty much whatevah he wants."
"Face it, Strife, your boyfriend's totally spoiled," Xena said, smiling innocently when he scowled at her. "You sure you know what you're getting into?"
The truth was he had no idea what he was doing, but he wasn't worried enough about it to back out now. He'd never lived with someone he was sleeping with before, but he didn't see what there was to worry about. It just meant they got to see each other a lot more often, and he was already kind of attached to the idea of waking up next to Cupid every morning. Besides, there was no way he could change his mind without making Cupid think Strife didn't want to be with him, and it didn't hurt that the loft was a lot nicer than the dump he was sharing with Iolaus and Hercules.
"Yeah, course I do," he answered. "Hey, if it means seein' less a Herc, I'm there."
"There's a great reason to move in with somebody," Xena muttered, but when he glanced at her again he saw the corners of her mouth twitching.
"Jealous?"
She set her bass back in its case and looked up at him, finally giving in to the grin that was threatening to form. "Nah. Cupid's not my type. Now Psyche, on the other hand…"
"I knew ya had a thing fer her," Strife said triumphantly, leaning forward on his chair and resting his arms across the backrest. "She likes ya too."
"She does not."
"Sure she does. I saw her tryin' ta talk to ya at the club the other night. Ya coulda acted a little more interested, ya know."
Xena shrugged and looked down at her bass again, pretending to adjust the strings so she wouldn't have to meet her cousin's gaze. "What's the point? She's still going out with that guy, right? I'm not stupid, Strife, I saw the way they were looking at Iolaus."
Strife rolled his eyes and let out a dramatic sigh, pushing himself out of his chair and crossing the stage to sit on the floor next to her. "Ya don't know everythin', Xena. Look, Cupe's got this idea in his head that Iolaus just needs a little shove outta the closet, right? Meanwhile Psyche's been tryin' ta come up with a way ta break up with Auto, so Cupe talked her inta killin' two birds with one stone. She pretends she's in on the whole seducin' Iolaus thing, but once she gets him an' Auto alone together they forget all about her."
"How does Auto outing Iolaus help Psyche break up with him?"
"Cupe says Auto's just got a little problem with the whole idea a bein' alone with a guy. He figures once he does it once, he'll quit tryin' ta hide behind his girlfriend."
Xena frowned and sat back on the wooden floor, leaning back on her hands as she contemplated Cupid's plan. "That's almost as dumb as Herc's 'no dating' rule."
"Tell me about it." Strife grinned when she shook her head at him. "Look, it ain't my idea, I'm just goin' along with it. I mean Cupe's got a point about Iolaus, right? We've been sayin' that forever. And even if he's wrong about this thing with Auto, Psyche still likes ya. She's breakin' up with him one way or the other."
"Yeah, but just because she's breaking up with him doesn't mean she's interested in me."
Strife rolled his eyes again and fell back onto the stage, stretching his arms out in a 'why me?' gesture. "Did ya not just hear what I said? She likes ya. She told Cupe in those exact words."
"Oh. Well why didn't you just say so?"
Strife frowned and turned his head to look at her, opening his mouth to tell her in no uncertain terms exactly who had the communication problem. Before he got started the stage door slammed, though, and he let out a sigh and pushed himself back into a sitting position. "'Bout time," he snapped, glancing over his shoulder and scowling when he realized Iolaus was alone. "Where the fuck is Herc? We're runnin' outta rehearsal time."
"He's not coming," Iolaus answered. He sat down heavily in the chair Strife had vacated, staring at his friends without really seeing them. "I just talked to him."
"He's not still pissed that I hit him, is he?" Xena asked. "Jesus, he had it coming."
"No, it's not that," Iolaus answered. "Look, guys, I don't know how to tell you this. Herc's not coming back."
"Whadda ya mean? One fight and he's just takin' a walk? He's the one that wanted ta move out here in the first place," Strife said, turning so he could see Iolaus. As soon as he registered his friend's shell-shocked expression he forgot all about being mad at Hercules, a frown marring his features as he pushed himself onto his knees and leaned forward to touch Iolaus' arm. "Hey, are ya alright? Ya look like yer best friend just…shit, Iolaus, is Herc okay?"
"Yeah…I mean I guess." He paused long enough to cast a guilty look at Xena, taking a deep breath and looking down at Strife again before he continued. "He's quitting the band. He's gotta get a real job, one that actually pays something."
"Herc, get a job? What the fuck for?" Xena asked, a nervous grin tugging at the corners of her mouth as she tried to imagine Hercules working.
Iolaus glanced at her again, the shock in his features fading into an apologetic expression. "Gabbie's pregnant."
Fandom: Xena
Pairing: Cupid/Strife
Rating: NC17
Summary: An AU that sprang from a challenge posted on the AJCS list, in which Strife is the lead singer in a punk band and a teenage Cupid falls in love.
By the time Cupid finished washing up and made it back downstairs his mother was in full flirt mode. He hadn’t seen her like that for a long time, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact that she was flirting with somebody he knew. Somebody who’d given him a C+ on the spice rack she still sitting on the kitchen counter and blown his GPA for the first half of his sophomore year. The whole thing was just a little weird, starting with the fact that his mom actually invited her boyfriend to the house, and ending with the fact that it was someone Cupid already knew.
It hadn’t really bothered him when his father introduced him to Joxer for the first time. This was his mom, though, and he was used to having her more or less to himself. He knew she had a life, but she’d kept it away from him for so long that he couldn’t help thinking that having her boyfriend over to meet him meant…something. He hadn't figured out what exactly it meant yet, but in a way it made him feel a little better to know that she wouldn't be completely alone once he moved to the city.
When he got to the dining room Heph was already sitting down, and Cupid slid into the chair across from him and crossed his arms over his chest. "So how long have you been dating my mom?"
Heph had that sickly nervous grin going, like he was either going to start laughing his head off or throw up on his shoes any second. Cupid wasn't sure what his mother had told the guy to make Heph so nervous about having dinner with him, but he had to admit it was kind of funny to watch. He'd always been nice enough when Cupid was in his class, but Cupid had never been all that good at carpentry so he hadn't paid much attention in Shop. In fact he'd spent most of his time in Heph's class wondering how he'd gotten the scar that marked one side of his face and most of his left arm. There were a lot of different stories around school about it, but most of them he was pretty sure weren't true. Now that he knew his mom was dating the guy he could finally found out the real story, anyway.
"We've…uh…I guess we've been seeing each other for about a year now," Heph finally answered, the nervous grin giving way to a thoughtful expression for a second before it came right back again. Cupid decided that he looked better when he didn't smile; the jacket and tie pretty much ruined the affect, but when he wasn't grinning like an idiot the scar kind of made him look dangerous.
"So are you guys gonna get married or what?"
That did the trick; Heph definitely wasn't smiling anymore, but he didn't really look all that dangerous while he was staring at Cupid like a deer caught in somebody's headlights. He almost felt sorry for the guy until he remembered that they'd more or less ambushed him with this dinner party, so he shrugged off the guilt and held the other man's gaze as he waited for an answer.
"We've talked about it," Heph finally said, and Cupid had to give the guy points for honesty. Most people would have stammered through a few half-sentences before they finally came up with an excuse about having something caught in their throat and high-tailed it for the kitchen. "Does that bother you?"
He'd almost forgotten how good teachers could be at turning the tables in the middle of an interrogation. They were a lot like therapists in that respect, but Cupid had lived with a therapist long enough to keep himself from getting caught off guard. Instead of answering he just shrugged noncommittally and leaned back in his chair, raising a single eyebrow at the older man. "She told you I'm gay, right?"
Heph's mouth opened, but before he managed to squeak out an answer the kitchen door swung open, and both of them looked up in time to watch Dite carry the roast into the dining room. "Oh, Cupid, good," she said, oblivious to the tension hanging in the air between the two men, "I was just getting ready to send out a search party. I think we're ready to eat."
He grinned indulgently, completely ignoring the fact that both of them looked nervous now. "Looks great, Mom."
"Here's hoping," Dite muttered under her breath. Suddenly Cupid wondered if this was the first time she'd ever cooked for the guy; if they'd been dating for a year she must have showed off her cooking skills before now, either at his place or while Cupid was in New York visiting his father. She seemed kind of jumpy, though, and he couldn't imagine it was just because he was meeting her boyfriend for the first time.
He'd never been one of those kids that was particularly protective of his mother; she wouldn't stand for it, for one thing, and anyway he was usually too busy worrying about the next time his father was going to screw up his life. But suddenly he felt like kicking Heph under the table until he said something nice about his mom's cooking.
"It looks fantastic, Dite," Heph said almost as soon as he finished the thought, and Cupid blinked and reached for his glass of water to hide his smile. "You've really outdone yourself tonight."
And okay, the guy couldn't be all bad if he could make Cupid's mom smile like that. She looked younger with her face all lit up, kind of like she'd looked when he was a kid and they were all still pretending that they were a normal family. It made him wonder how long she'd been in love with his Shop teacher, and more importantly, if Heph was the kind of guy that deserved a woman like his mom.
"So how'd you two meet?" Cupid asked, glancing up from the food his mother had piled onto his plate.
"Your grandfather introduced us, actually," Dite answered, glancing at Heph long enough to give him a shy smile that would have made Cupid roll his eyes under any other circumstances. "Heph does antique restoration when he's not teaching, and he fixed that old Hoosier cabinet that your Grandma loves so much. Dad thought we'd hit it off, so he gave Heph my number."
"It took him another three weeks to convince me to call," Heph added, grinning sheepishly when Dite reached over and squeezed his hand. "He showed me a picture of your mom and I knew there was no way someone as beautiful as her would ever go out with me. I'm still trying to figure out how I got so lucky."
Dite shook her head, smiling a little sadly before she let go of Heph's hand. "Please, I'm the lucky one. I owe Dad for setting us up, and he hasn't let me forget it yet."
Okay, that was a little too cute for Cupid, but if his mom was happy he wasn't going to ruin it for her by acting like a kid and getting all grossed out. Not tonight, anyway; there would be plenty of time to make fun of both of them once he'd spent a little time with Heph. "So what's the occasion?" Cupid asked, drawing their attention back to the fact that he was still in the room. "I mean why the introductions finally after a year of keeping it a secret?"
Dite arched her eyebrows at Heph, but he just shrugged helplessly. "He asked me how long we've been seeing each other," he admitted, and Cupid had to struggle not to laugh at the way Heph shrank a little under Dite's stare.
"We weren't trying to keep it a secret, Cupid," she said when she turned back to him. "Not really. But while you were still in school I thought it would be easier for you this way. Just to keep things as uncomplicated as possible."
"What your mom means is that she didn't want you to have to see me around school all the time if it turned out you hated the idea of us going out," Heph added, matching Cupid's smirk with one of his own. Dite sighed dramatically at the two of them, but she didn't argue because all three of them knew that it was true.
"And now…?" Cupid prompted, turning his attention back to his mother. He really wanted to get back to the subject of potential wedding bells, if only to confuse the conversation enough to bring up the fact that he was planning to move out. He didn't want to just blurt it out again, though; his mother would see right through that tactic.
"And now we think you're ready to deal with the fact that Heph and I are getting serious."
"Getting?"
"Yes, and that's all you need to know for now," she answered, giving him a look that told him he wasn't getting anything else out of her.
He stifled a sigh and frowned down at his dinner for a moment. Okay, so distracting her with wedding plans wasn't going to work, but he could try a different tactic that might work just as well. "I'm happy for you guys, really," he said, looking up and smiling innocently at both of them. "I mean I was a little worried about leaving you all by yourself, but now that I know you've got Heph I don't need to worry about it."
"Leaving? What are you talking about?" Dite asked, the hand that was holding her wine glass freezing in mid-air.
"Come on, Mom, you don't expect me to commute all the way to the city for college, do you?" he asked in a tone that implied that even suggesting it would be ridiculous. "It'll be a lot easier if I just move up there. Dad already said I could use the loft, that way he'll be around to make sure I don't do anything stupid and you won't have to worry about me taking the train home every night."
For a long moment Dite just stared at him without saying anything, and he began to squirm uncomfortably under her gaze when she finally shook her head. "No. Absolutely not. I won't have you living alone in the city, Cupid. You're too young."
"Mom, I just told you…"
"Living above the karate studio isn't the same as staying with him. If you were planning to move into Ares' and Joxer's place it would be one thing, but all by yourself in that loft? No."
"But that's the thing. I won't be alone. Strife's moving in with me."
Later he'd probably realize that that wasn't the best way to break the news to her, but at the moment he was too busy enjoying the spectacle of seeing his mother speechless for the first time. For as long as he could remember she'd always had something to say about every situation, regardless of whether or not it was any of her business. It was such a novelty to see his mother staring at him with her mouth open that he forgot all about the man sitting across from him until Heph cleared his throat.
"Strife?" he repeated, his expression telling Cupid that he regretted drawing attention to his presence as soon as he'd said it.
"My boyfriend," Cupid answered before turning his attention back to his mother. "Mom, you didn't really think I was going to stay in Neptune forever, did you?"
"Of course not," she said, finally snapping out of her shock long enough to answer him. "I knew you'd want to move to the city eventually, but…moving in with Strife? Honey, have you really thought this through? You haven't been seeing him for that long, and this is a big step."
He managed somehow not to roll his eyes at the question that everyone seemed to be asking. If they knew how he felt about Strife they'd understand, but there was no way he could make them see what he was feeling. He knew things would work out exactly the way he envisioned them, and everyone else would see soon enough that he'd been right. "I've thought about it. We both have. This is what we want."
"And your father's okay with this?"
"Yeah, he's helping us fix up the loft." Cupid frowned at his mother's expression, unable for once to tell whether or not she was going to put her foot down. Not that she really had much to say about it once he turned eighteen, but he didn't want to alienate her if he didn’t have to. "Come on, Mom, this way is best for everybody. You can even help with the decorating if you want."
"I have to talk it over with Joxer," she said, shaking her head when she saw his hopeful expression. "Don't get too excited, I said I'd talk to him. I haven't made a decision yet."
"Joxer?" Heph interjected. "I'm sorry, I know it's not really any of my business, but wouldn't you want to talk it over with Ares?"
"Please, Ares is completely useless when it comes to things like this. He gives Cupid whatever he wants, always has. Joxer's much more sensible," Dite answered. "Besides, he's Strife's uncle. If anybody's going to know whether or not this is a bad idea, it's him."
"Mom talks everything over with Joxer," Cupid added, grinning at Heph's surprised expression. "What, she didn't mention that? I bet she's already told him all about you."
He laughed at the blush that colored the older man's cheeks, shaking his head and turning his attention back to his dinner. There was nothing to worry about now; when Dite said she was going to talk to Joxer that meant that she just wanted to hear him tell her it was okay before she gave in to whatever Cupid wanted. She hated saying no to him just as much as Ares did, she just didn't want to admit it. So they both used Joxer as an excuse to give in and Cupid played along. It wasn't hard, and as long as everybody got what they wanted he was happy to keep his mouth shut and pretend he didn't know what was going on.
~
"I can't believe they're just giving you guys a place, just like that."
"I know." Strife grinned at the hint of jealousy in Xena's voice; he knew she'd give anything to move out of her mother's place, but it cost a fortune to find a decent place in New York, and she didn't want to move in with a bunch of people she didn't know. "Ya know, fer a guy who's always sayin' how strict his folks are, they give him pretty much whatevah he wants."
"Face it, Strife, your boyfriend's totally spoiled," Xena said, smiling innocently when he scowled at her. "You sure you know what you're getting into?"
The truth was he had no idea what he was doing, but he wasn't worried enough about it to back out now. He'd never lived with someone he was sleeping with before, but he didn't see what there was to worry about. It just meant they got to see each other a lot more often, and he was already kind of attached to the idea of waking up next to Cupid every morning. Besides, there was no way he could change his mind without making Cupid think Strife didn't want to be with him, and it didn't hurt that the loft was a lot nicer than the dump he was sharing with Iolaus and Hercules.
"Yeah, course I do," he answered. "Hey, if it means seein' less a Herc, I'm there."
"There's a great reason to move in with somebody," Xena muttered, but when he glanced at her again he saw the corners of her mouth twitching.
"Jealous?"
She set her bass back in its case and looked up at him, finally giving in to the grin that was threatening to form. "Nah. Cupid's not my type. Now Psyche, on the other hand…"
"I knew ya had a thing fer her," Strife said triumphantly, leaning forward on his chair and resting his arms across the backrest. "She likes ya too."
"She does not."
"Sure she does. I saw her tryin' ta talk to ya at the club the other night. Ya coulda acted a little more interested, ya know."
Xena shrugged and looked down at her bass again, pretending to adjust the strings so she wouldn't have to meet her cousin's gaze. "What's the point? She's still going out with that guy, right? I'm not stupid, Strife, I saw the way they were looking at Iolaus."
Strife rolled his eyes and let out a dramatic sigh, pushing himself out of his chair and crossing the stage to sit on the floor next to her. "Ya don't know everythin', Xena. Look, Cupe's got this idea in his head that Iolaus just needs a little shove outta the closet, right? Meanwhile Psyche's been tryin' ta come up with a way ta break up with Auto, so Cupe talked her inta killin' two birds with one stone. She pretends she's in on the whole seducin' Iolaus thing, but once she gets him an' Auto alone together they forget all about her."
"How does Auto outing Iolaus help Psyche break up with him?"
"Cupe says Auto's just got a little problem with the whole idea a bein' alone with a guy. He figures once he does it once, he'll quit tryin' ta hide behind his girlfriend."
Xena frowned and sat back on the wooden floor, leaning back on her hands as she contemplated Cupid's plan. "That's almost as dumb as Herc's 'no dating' rule."
"Tell me about it." Strife grinned when she shook her head at him. "Look, it ain't my idea, I'm just goin' along with it. I mean Cupe's got a point about Iolaus, right? We've been sayin' that forever. And even if he's wrong about this thing with Auto, Psyche still likes ya. She's breakin' up with him one way or the other."
"Yeah, but just because she's breaking up with him doesn't mean she's interested in me."
Strife rolled his eyes again and fell back onto the stage, stretching his arms out in a 'why me?' gesture. "Did ya not just hear what I said? She likes ya. She told Cupe in those exact words."
"Oh. Well why didn't you just say so?"
Strife frowned and turned his head to look at her, opening his mouth to tell her in no uncertain terms exactly who had the communication problem. Before he got started the stage door slammed, though, and he let out a sigh and pushed himself back into a sitting position. "'Bout time," he snapped, glancing over his shoulder and scowling when he realized Iolaus was alone. "Where the fuck is Herc? We're runnin' outta rehearsal time."
"He's not coming," Iolaus answered. He sat down heavily in the chair Strife had vacated, staring at his friends without really seeing them. "I just talked to him."
"He's not still pissed that I hit him, is he?" Xena asked. "Jesus, he had it coming."
"No, it's not that," Iolaus answered. "Look, guys, I don't know how to tell you this. Herc's not coming back."
"Whadda ya mean? One fight and he's just takin' a walk? He's the one that wanted ta move out here in the first place," Strife said, turning so he could see Iolaus. As soon as he registered his friend's shell-shocked expression he forgot all about being mad at Hercules, a frown marring his features as he pushed himself onto his knees and leaned forward to touch Iolaus' arm. "Hey, are ya alright? Ya look like yer best friend just…shit, Iolaus, is Herc okay?"
"Yeah…I mean I guess." He paused long enough to cast a guilty look at Xena, taking a deep breath and looking down at Strife again before he continued. "He's quitting the band. He's gotta get a real job, one that actually pays something."
"Herc, get a job? What the fuck for?" Xena asked, a nervous grin tugging at the corners of her mouth as she tried to imagine Hercules working.
Iolaus glanced at her again, the shock in his features fading into an apologetic expression. "Gabbie's pregnant."