Fic: Train Going Backwards (JAG, Harm/Clay, NC17)
Title: Train Going Backwards
Fandom: JAG
Pairing: Rabb/Webb
Rating: NC17
Summary: Part 2 of the Train Series. Harm follows Clay and things happen.
It was a strange sensation, feeling the train grind to a stop and then start up again, almost painfully slowly, and begin moving backwards. The rest of the party kept on going, barely even noticing the change in direction. Clay noticed, though, he was trained to notice details after all. Painstakingly cataloging every detail around him was his life, and he’d been doing it for so long that he couldn’t just shut it off because he was at a party and not on a case.
He supposed he should be having a good time, at least relaxing and letting the Scotch he’d been nursing work its magic. Normally he had no real problem unwinding after a long day, even the most difficult cases didn’t stay with him for too long. Disassociation was another major part of his CIA training, and he was nothing if not a consummate professional. Tonight was different, though, because tonight Harm was here. He couldn’t relax around Harm, he’d never been able to and he wasn’t sure if he ever would. Not that he’d ever get the chance to find out, because Harmon Rabb Jr. would never be a real part of his life. Not in any way that actually mattered anyway.
He’d been watching Harm make small talk with his date, charming both the women at their table as the foursome waited for the inevitable stroke of midnight. He hadn’t been obvious about it, in fact he doubted if even Miranda realized where his attention had been focused for the past hour or so. Still, even the risk of getting caught couldn’t convince him not to watch the graceful movements of the other man’s long fingers as he told a story, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled, the clean lines of a crisp tuxedo shirt over a broad, solid chest. Clay swallowed a sigh and told himself to stop torturing himself before he ruined his entire evening. At least he got to spend the evening basking in Harm’s presence, although not even under the threat of death would he ever admit to the lawyer that he was charmed by Harm’s grin or the velvet quality of his voice.
It wasn’t as though he actually liked the man, in fact he found Harm’s dogmatic devotion to his superior moral structure rather annoying. The man saw everything in black and white, and no matter how many times he and Clay argued about necessary evils Harm refused to see that sometimes innocent people really did get caught in the crossfire. It was when he found himself trying in small ways to make what Harm saw as his personal character flaws up to the man that Clay knew he was in way too deep, so he’d backed off. He’d lashed out at Harm every chance he got, hoping that if he said it out loud enough eventually his heart would start to believe that he didn’t care what Harmon Rabb thought of him.
So far it hadn’t really worked.
So here he was again, sitting across the table from The Man himself, just another supplicant basking in the presence of the great Harmon Rabb. Frankly it was a depressing way to spend his New Year’s, especially when he knew that at midnight he’d have to watch Harm kiss that woman. Clay was sure she was perfectly nice, but he also knew that Harm wasn’t really interested in her. He’d watched Harm flirt with and string along Colonel MacKenzie for years now, he’d watched the man go through women as though they meant nothing to him and after awhile it had all started to click. Harm was deep inside the closet, so deep that it would take a team of geologists to drag him out into the light again, but he was there nonetheless. The serial monogamy, the games he played with Mac when she obviously wanted more from him - it all made sense, but none of that helped Clay at all.
Jenna was just another in a long line of Harm’s victims, and Clay felt for the woman. He told himself that’s why he’d flirted with Harm earlier, giving the other man just enough to knock him slightly off balance without really coming out and admitting that he wanted Harm. He was just trying to distract Harm from breaking another woman’s heart, at least while Clay had to sit and watch it happen. For a few minutes he even believed it, then he looked up from his Scotch and caught Harm looking at him curiously. Damn.
It was just sex, that was the only thing he wanted from Rabb. How many times had he told himself that over the years? The one thing he was least likely to get from the man, and it was the fantasy that fueled most of his dreams. If he wanted to be Harm’s friend it would have been simple enough, Harm had made overtures a few times during the course of their working relationship. But Clay couldn’t accept them because he knew that friendship was as far as it would go, and he couldn’t live with that. He’d rather not have anything to do with Rabb at all if he couldn’t have what he really wanted from him, it would be too messy and he needed as few complications in his personal life as possible.
No matter how many times he told himself that it didn’t make holding his composure under Rabb’s steady gaze any easier, though, and by the time Harm was forced to turn back to his date Clay could feel his blood pressure creeping up. This was the final straw, the next time Miranda tried to bully him into taking her to some inane party he was putting his foot down. He couldn’t afford to find himself trapped on a train with Rabb when he looked like that. At least he wasn’t wearing the dress uniform for once, and Clay swallowed another sigh as he told himself he should be thankful for small favors.
He knew it was just as well that nothing could ever happen between them, because even if he did somehow manage to seduce the man they still had to work together. He wasn’t naïve enough to think he’d be able to get by without ever having to enlist Harm’s help again, and there was no way Rabb could manage to keep himself out of trouble enough to never need Clay again. Sleeping with a colleague was never a good idea, especially one that tended to get himself into the kind of trouble that drew the government’s attention. Harm was way too high-profile, it wasn’t even anything that he could help. It was just an annoying side affect of his personality.
Clay snapped himself out of it when he felt Miranda tugging on the sleeve of his tux, frowning as he glanced over at her. “You can’t be serious,” she whispered, keeping her voice down so Harm and Jenna wouldn’t hear her over their own conversation.
“About what?” Clay asked, frowning as he tried to figure out what exactly he’d missed. Although with Miranda for all he knew she was referring to something they’d last talked about three weeks ago.
She didn’t answer, but her eyes darted in the direction of the man sitting across the table. It was barely noticeable, and if Clay hadn’t known her for years even he might have missed it. He didn’t, though, and the realization that she’d caught on to what was distracting him evoked a groan that he barely managed to stifle. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he hissed, shooting a glare at her that told her now was definitely not the time.
“Alright,” she answered quietly, leaning back in her chair again. “But don’t think I’m just going to let it go.”
“Everything alright?” Harm’s voice rang in Clay’s ears, drawing the smaller man’s attention as he glanced across the table and then back at Miranda.
“Of course, Rabb,” Clay snapped, as though the question was ridiculous.
Miranda smiled and laid one hand on Clay’s arm, leaning forward and pretending she didn’t notice Clay’s exasperated sigh. “You know how old friends are, always squabbling about something and talking in code. Nothing to worry about.”
Clay studiously ignored the way Harm’s eyebrows arched as though he was trying to puzzle something out in that brain of his, and he ignored the way Harm’s blue eyes rested on him for just a moment longer than they should. It was bad enough that his best friend had figured out what was going on, he didn’t need Harm figuring it out too. Not that he thought Harm was anywhere near as observant as Miranda, for a lawyer the guy let a lot get past him. Not that Harm wasn’t great at what he did, and Clay certainly didn’t think he was stupid. If he did there wouldn’t be anything about Harm to hold his interest beyond the pretty face, and the allure of that would have worn off quickly.
No, Rabb was a smart man, but he was naïve about a lot of things. Or maybe he just chose not to see what was right in front of him, knowing Harm that was the more obvious choice. He liked things neat and compartmentalized, and when anything got too messy Harm had a bad habit of twisting and forcing it until it fit into the mold he’d chosen. Clay couldn’t fit into Harm’s narrow view of what was right and true in the world, and therefore they’d never understand each other. Or more to the point, Harm would never understand Clay, because Clay was fairly sure he understood Harm.
He stole another glance over at Harm, but the taller man was bent toward his date listening to whatever she was whispering in his ear. Clay swallowed and looked away again, focusing on the crowd of people around them so he wouldn’t have to think about the fact that he was stuck at a table with the last person he wanted to see tonight. He drummed his fingers on the table and let out a small sigh, then glanced over at Miranda only to find her staring at him. It definitely wasn’t a good idea to give her a chance to start asking more questions, not when she was wearing that expression that told him she had a piece of information she considered far too interesting to let go of.
“Excuse me for a moment,” he said, standing up abruptly and smoothing the lapels of his jacket. “I see a colleague I need to have a word with.”
Miranda smiled knowingly and glanced over at the couple across the table. “He’s very dedicated to his job. In fact he never stops working.”
“What does he do, exactly?” Jenna asked as she watched Clay disappear into the crowd. “Did you say he works with you at JAG, Harm?”
“He’s more of a consultant,” Harm answered carefully, his own gaze straying to the man making his way through the crowd. He stood up and cleared his throat, pasting on his most charming grin as he turned back to the women at the table. “Can I get either of you anything from the bar?”
“Such a gentleman,” Miranda sighed. “Clay should take lessons from you. But thanks, I’m fine.”
Clay was already in the corridor leading to the passenger compartments when Harm caught up with him, but if he heard Harm step into the car behind him he didn’t look back. He stopped when he reached the end of the car and tugged open the door to an empty compartment, pausing just for a second before he stepped inside. What he really wanted to do was go outside and get a breath of crisp night air, fill his lungs too fast and clear his head of thoughts he shouldn’t be thinking about Harm. Of course Miranda had to drag him on this stupid dinner party where the closest he could get to fresh air was an open window in a deserted passenger compartment.
He sighed and forced the window open, closing his eyes and letting the cool air rushing past the train wash over him. He just needed a few minutes to pull himself together, then he could go back to the table and face Rabb again.
“You’re not thinking of jumping, are you?”
Clay froze and his eyes snapped open as the low, steady voice cut through the silence of the small compartment. He squared his shoulders and turned slowly, forcing his expression to go blank. “Why are you following me, Rabb?”
“Just watching your back, Webb.”
A decidedly unflattering snort escaped Clay’s throat before he could stop it. “I told you already, I’m not working tonight. So there’s no reason for your concern.”
If he didn’t know better he could have sworn something like hurt flashed in Harm’s blue eyes for a moment, but then it was gone and replaced by Harm’s usual blank expression. “Alright, maybe I just needed a breather from the small talk.”
“What’s the matter, Rabb, your date not quite up to your intellectual standards?” He hadn’t meant for that to sound as bitter as it did, but he hoped Harm would chalk it up to his personality and not read anything into it.
The sheepish grin that lit up Harm’s features made his knees weak and suddenly he was far too aware of how small the compartment was. All he had to do was step forward a few feet and they’d be touching - this was definitely not a good idea. He glanced behind Harm toward the door, but there was no way he could get out of there without touching the man.
“I think she’s just a little more interested in me than I am in her,” Harm finally admitted with a sigh.
Clay didn’t bother to hold back a sarcastic laugh at that, rolling his eyes in the darkness of the compartment. He had no idea why Harmon Rabb was suddenly sharing details of his personal life, but then again he seemed to be the only person at the party that Harm knew besides his date. Then there was the way Harm was always trying to bond with him, maybe this was just another offer of friendship. “I’m sure that’s nothing you haven’t handled before.”
“Can I ask you a personal question, Clay?”
This was dangerous territory - Rabb asking him personal questions in a tiny passenger compartment was a situation he’d normally avoid at all costs. He was still trying to figure out why exactly Harm had followed him in the first place, surely his date must be missing him by now. “You’re not going to give me a lecture on dating married women, are you, Rabb? Because I’ve already explained to you that Miranda and I are just friends.”
“No,” Harm answered, then he was moving forward and Clay felt his temperature rise a few notches. He was standing in front of Clay then, and he couldn’t even feel the cold night air coming in through the window with Harm’s body heat radiating toward him. “I wasn’t going to ask you about your date.”
“Then what?” Clay heard himself ask, his pulse racing as he prayed that Harm wouldn’t be able to hear his heart pounding in his chest. He willed himself to calm down, willed his body not to respond to Harm’s proximity. Suddenly the whole situation felt like something out of time, as though they’d stepped through the door of the train compartment into an alternate dimension and the rest of the world didn’t exist anymore. He shook his head to chase the dangerous thoughts away and looked up again, swallowing hard when his eyes locked with Harm’s.
Before he could react Harm was leaning down, his lips hovering barely an inch from Clay’s and making it difficult for the smaller man to think at all. A tortured groan escaped Clay’s throat as he leaned forward and fused their lips together, all rational thought leaving him as Harm’s hands landed on his hips and pulled him closer. He tasted Scotch and mint and cigars on Harm’s tongue, the combination surprisingly intoxicating as his body rebelled against his common sense and pressed itself into Harm’s solid frame. Then Harm’s hands were under his jacket and massaging his back, and before he could stop himself he reached for Harm’s shirt and began tugging it out of his pants.
If they’d kept it to a simple ill-advised kiss they might have been able to rationalize it away and move on, maybe even pretend it never happened eventually. The minute Clay started working on Harm’s clothes, however, they left behind any hope of denying this ever happened. In the back of Clay’s mind he knew this was a bad idea, that anyone could walk in and find them together and even if they didn’t they’d both regret this tomorrow. He couldn’t stop himself, though, he’d wanted this for too long to stop when Harm was finally offering him the thing he’d been fantasizing about for years.
Harm’s mouth left his and began working its way down his throat, strong fingers tugging at his bowtie and making short work of the buttons at his collar. He slid the taller man’s zipper down and slid a hand inside, a shiver rocking his body as Harm groaned and grew a little harder in his touch. He knew he should stop, he should turn around and walk out now while he could still make a clean break. The only problem was that he knew what Harm tasted like now, he knew how the man’s body felt against his and he knew that he had the power to make Harm forget all about his sense of right and wrong. That was a stronger aphrodisiac than anything else he’d ever experienced, and he found himself sliding to his knees and nuzzling his face in the heat emanating from Harm’s groin, breathing in the musky scent before he flicked his tongue out and tasted him for the first time.
Strong fingers wrapped in his hair and Harm let out a low groan as his hips bucked, thrusting his length further into Clay’s mouth. Clay swallowed around him before pulling his mouth back up until only the head was resting on his lips, his tongue teasing the sensitive tip until Harm moaned and tightened his grip on Clay’s hair. “Clay,” Harm whispered, his voice hoarse and deeper than Clay had ever heard it. “Please…”
Clay shook off the shock at hearing Harm moan his name and slid his mouth down the other man’s length again, using his tongue and lips to learn what made Harm tremble and whimper. He was close himself just from listening to Harm moan, and part of him wanted to stroke himself at the same time that he got Harm off. After all there was no telling if this would be reciprocal or if Harm would leave as soon as he finished, and there was no way he could ask the man to stay and finish the job. What they were doing was wrong in so many ways, but that knowledge made him want it even more.
He felt Harm tense and slid as far down the other man as he could, hollowing his cheeks as he tried to make him lose control. Harm grunted and came without warning, filling Clay’s mouth as his entire body trembled. Clay swallowed around him and kept moving, his tongue drawing lazy circles against Harm’s skin as he slowly pulled off the other man. When he stood up he expected Harm to avert his eyes while he straightened his clothes and walked out, but as soon as he was back on his feet he felt strong arms wrap around him and those perfect lips pressed against his mouth again.
Harm forced his lips apart with his tongue, forcing his way past Clay’s teeth to devour his mouth again. Shock and desire rocked Clay’s body, making him clutch even harder at Harm’s waist as he felt himself moving backwards. When his calves hit the seat Harm pushed him firmly down and slid down in front of him, their lips never parting as the taller man’s hands flew to his waistband and opened his pants. Clay gasped as he felt a calloused hand grip him roughly, the sound swallowed by Harm’s mouth as he continued his assault on Clay’s lips. Harm’s hand felt more amazing against him that he’d ever imagined, and he knew he was embarrassingly close to losing control. Then Harm’s hand was gone and his mouth tore away from Clay’s, and a whimpered protest escaped him before he could stop it.
He heard a low, throaty chuckle and opened his eyes in time to watch Harm’s mouth close around him, his eyes widening in shock as pleasure shot through his whole body. “Jesus,” he groaned, earning him another laugh that sent vibrations through his skin and up his spine. If he could think at all he might have said something sarcastic about how amused Harm was by this unlikely situation, but as it was it was all he could do to focus on not losing control too soon and losing the hot warmth of Harm’s mouth wrapped around him. It felt too good, though, and it had been too long since he’d done this. By the time Harm pulled off him and then swallowed him again just as fast he was only hanging on by the barest shred of control, and when Harm began humming low in his throat Clay let out a muffled gasp and came harder than he had in ages.
By the time he recovered Harm was zipping him back up again, but he was still on his knees in front of Clay. His hair was hopelessly tousled and Clay was sure he didn’t look much more composed, but on Harm it looked way too tempting. He opened his mouth to say something but the words wouldn’t come, there was nothing he could say that could begin to make what they’d just done okay. Then Harm smirked and let go of Clay’s bowtie, leaning forward and planting a quick kiss on the other man’s mouth. “Thanks, Webb. That was…educational.”
Before Clay could answer Harm was standing up, tucking his shirt back in as he opened the door to the compartment and stuck his head into the corridor to make sure the coast was clear. A second later he disappeared, leaving Clay still panting against the seat and wondering what the hell just happened and how he was ever going to look Harmon Rabb in the eye again.
Fandom: JAG
Pairing: Rabb/Webb
Rating: NC17
Summary: Part 2 of the Train Series. Harm follows Clay and things happen.
It was a strange sensation, feeling the train grind to a stop and then start up again, almost painfully slowly, and begin moving backwards. The rest of the party kept on going, barely even noticing the change in direction. Clay noticed, though, he was trained to notice details after all. Painstakingly cataloging every detail around him was his life, and he’d been doing it for so long that he couldn’t just shut it off because he was at a party and not on a case.
He supposed he should be having a good time, at least relaxing and letting the Scotch he’d been nursing work its magic. Normally he had no real problem unwinding after a long day, even the most difficult cases didn’t stay with him for too long. Disassociation was another major part of his CIA training, and he was nothing if not a consummate professional. Tonight was different, though, because tonight Harm was here. He couldn’t relax around Harm, he’d never been able to and he wasn’t sure if he ever would. Not that he’d ever get the chance to find out, because Harmon Rabb Jr. would never be a real part of his life. Not in any way that actually mattered anyway.
He’d been watching Harm make small talk with his date, charming both the women at their table as the foursome waited for the inevitable stroke of midnight. He hadn’t been obvious about it, in fact he doubted if even Miranda realized where his attention had been focused for the past hour or so. Still, even the risk of getting caught couldn’t convince him not to watch the graceful movements of the other man’s long fingers as he told a story, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled, the clean lines of a crisp tuxedo shirt over a broad, solid chest. Clay swallowed a sigh and told himself to stop torturing himself before he ruined his entire evening. At least he got to spend the evening basking in Harm’s presence, although not even under the threat of death would he ever admit to the lawyer that he was charmed by Harm’s grin or the velvet quality of his voice.
It wasn’t as though he actually liked the man, in fact he found Harm’s dogmatic devotion to his superior moral structure rather annoying. The man saw everything in black and white, and no matter how many times he and Clay argued about necessary evils Harm refused to see that sometimes innocent people really did get caught in the crossfire. It was when he found himself trying in small ways to make what Harm saw as his personal character flaws up to the man that Clay knew he was in way too deep, so he’d backed off. He’d lashed out at Harm every chance he got, hoping that if he said it out loud enough eventually his heart would start to believe that he didn’t care what Harmon Rabb thought of him.
So far it hadn’t really worked.
So here he was again, sitting across the table from The Man himself, just another supplicant basking in the presence of the great Harmon Rabb. Frankly it was a depressing way to spend his New Year’s, especially when he knew that at midnight he’d have to watch Harm kiss that woman. Clay was sure she was perfectly nice, but he also knew that Harm wasn’t really interested in her. He’d watched Harm flirt with and string along Colonel MacKenzie for years now, he’d watched the man go through women as though they meant nothing to him and after awhile it had all started to click. Harm was deep inside the closet, so deep that it would take a team of geologists to drag him out into the light again, but he was there nonetheless. The serial monogamy, the games he played with Mac when she obviously wanted more from him - it all made sense, but none of that helped Clay at all.
Jenna was just another in a long line of Harm’s victims, and Clay felt for the woman. He told himself that’s why he’d flirted with Harm earlier, giving the other man just enough to knock him slightly off balance without really coming out and admitting that he wanted Harm. He was just trying to distract Harm from breaking another woman’s heart, at least while Clay had to sit and watch it happen. For a few minutes he even believed it, then he looked up from his Scotch and caught Harm looking at him curiously. Damn.
It was just sex, that was the only thing he wanted from Rabb. How many times had he told himself that over the years? The one thing he was least likely to get from the man, and it was the fantasy that fueled most of his dreams. If he wanted to be Harm’s friend it would have been simple enough, Harm had made overtures a few times during the course of their working relationship. But Clay couldn’t accept them because he knew that friendship was as far as it would go, and he couldn’t live with that. He’d rather not have anything to do with Rabb at all if he couldn’t have what he really wanted from him, it would be too messy and he needed as few complications in his personal life as possible.
No matter how many times he told himself that it didn’t make holding his composure under Rabb’s steady gaze any easier, though, and by the time Harm was forced to turn back to his date Clay could feel his blood pressure creeping up. This was the final straw, the next time Miranda tried to bully him into taking her to some inane party he was putting his foot down. He couldn’t afford to find himself trapped on a train with Rabb when he looked like that. At least he wasn’t wearing the dress uniform for once, and Clay swallowed another sigh as he told himself he should be thankful for small favors.
He knew it was just as well that nothing could ever happen between them, because even if he did somehow manage to seduce the man they still had to work together. He wasn’t naïve enough to think he’d be able to get by without ever having to enlist Harm’s help again, and there was no way Rabb could manage to keep himself out of trouble enough to never need Clay again. Sleeping with a colleague was never a good idea, especially one that tended to get himself into the kind of trouble that drew the government’s attention. Harm was way too high-profile, it wasn’t even anything that he could help. It was just an annoying side affect of his personality.
Clay snapped himself out of it when he felt Miranda tugging on the sleeve of his tux, frowning as he glanced over at her. “You can’t be serious,” she whispered, keeping her voice down so Harm and Jenna wouldn’t hear her over their own conversation.
“About what?” Clay asked, frowning as he tried to figure out what exactly he’d missed. Although with Miranda for all he knew she was referring to something they’d last talked about three weeks ago.
She didn’t answer, but her eyes darted in the direction of the man sitting across the table. It was barely noticeable, and if Clay hadn’t known her for years even he might have missed it. He didn’t, though, and the realization that she’d caught on to what was distracting him evoked a groan that he barely managed to stifle. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he hissed, shooting a glare at her that told her now was definitely not the time.
“Alright,” she answered quietly, leaning back in her chair again. “But don’t think I’m just going to let it go.”
“Everything alright?” Harm’s voice rang in Clay’s ears, drawing the smaller man’s attention as he glanced across the table and then back at Miranda.
“Of course, Rabb,” Clay snapped, as though the question was ridiculous.
Miranda smiled and laid one hand on Clay’s arm, leaning forward and pretending she didn’t notice Clay’s exasperated sigh. “You know how old friends are, always squabbling about something and talking in code. Nothing to worry about.”
Clay studiously ignored the way Harm’s eyebrows arched as though he was trying to puzzle something out in that brain of his, and he ignored the way Harm’s blue eyes rested on him for just a moment longer than they should. It was bad enough that his best friend had figured out what was going on, he didn’t need Harm figuring it out too. Not that he thought Harm was anywhere near as observant as Miranda, for a lawyer the guy let a lot get past him. Not that Harm wasn’t great at what he did, and Clay certainly didn’t think he was stupid. If he did there wouldn’t be anything about Harm to hold his interest beyond the pretty face, and the allure of that would have worn off quickly.
No, Rabb was a smart man, but he was naïve about a lot of things. Or maybe he just chose not to see what was right in front of him, knowing Harm that was the more obvious choice. He liked things neat and compartmentalized, and when anything got too messy Harm had a bad habit of twisting and forcing it until it fit into the mold he’d chosen. Clay couldn’t fit into Harm’s narrow view of what was right and true in the world, and therefore they’d never understand each other. Or more to the point, Harm would never understand Clay, because Clay was fairly sure he understood Harm.
He stole another glance over at Harm, but the taller man was bent toward his date listening to whatever she was whispering in his ear. Clay swallowed and looked away again, focusing on the crowd of people around them so he wouldn’t have to think about the fact that he was stuck at a table with the last person he wanted to see tonight. He drummed his fingers on the table and let out a small sigh, then glanced over at Miranda only to find her staring at him. It definitely wasn’t a good idea to give her a chance to start asking more questions, not when she was wearing that expression that told him she had a piece of information she considered far too interesting to let go of.
“Excuse me for a moment,” he said, standing up abruptly and smoothing the lapels of his jacket. “I see a colleague I need to have a word with.”
Miranda smiled knowingly and glanced over at the couple across the table. “He’s very dedicated to his job. In fact he never stops working.”
“What does he do, exactly?” Jenna asked as she watched Clay disappear into the crowd. “Did you say he works with you at JAG, Harm?”
“He’s more of a consultant,” Harm answered carefully, his own gaze straying to the man making his way through the crowd. He stood up and cleared his throat, pasting on his most charming grin as he turned back to the women at the table. “Can I get either of you anything from the bar?”
“Such a gentleman,” Miranda sighed. “Clay should take lessons from you. But thanks, I’m fine.”
Clay was already in the corridor leading to the passenger compartments when Harm caught up with him, but if he heard Harm step into the car behind him he didn’t look back. He stopped when he reached the end of the car and tugged open the door to an empty compartment, pausing just for a second before he stepped inside. What he really wanted to do was go outside and get a breath of crisp night air, fill his lungs too fast and clear his head of thoughts he shouldn’t be thinking about Harm. Of course Miranda had to drag him on this stupid dinner party where the closest he could get to fresh air was an open window in a deserted passenger compartment.
He sighed and forced the window open, closing his eyes and letting the cool air rushing past the train wash over him. He just needed a few minutes to pull himself together, then he could go back to the table and face Rabb again.
“You’re not thinking of jumping, are you?”
Clay froze and his eyes snapped open as the low, steady voice cut through the silence of the small compartment. He squared his shoulders and turned slowly, forcing his expression to go blank. “Why are you following me, Rabb?”
“Just watching your back, Webb.”
A decidedly unflattering snort escaped Clay’s throat before he could stop it. “I told you already, I’m not working tonight. So there’s no reason for your concern.”
If he didn’t know better he could have sworn something like hurt flashed in Harm’s blue eyes for a moment, but then it was gone and replaced by Harm’s usual blank expression. “Alright, maybe I just needed a breather from the small talk.”
“What’s the matter, Rabb, your date not quite up to your intellectual standards?” He hadn’t meant for that to sound as bitter as it did, but he hoped Harm would chalk it up to his personality and not read anything into it.
The sheepish grin that lit up Harm’s features made his knees weak and suddenly he was far too aware of how small the compartment was. All he had to do was step forward a few feet and they’d be touching - this was definitely not a good idea. He glanced behind Harm toward the door, but there was no way he could get out of there without touching the man.
“I think she’s just a little more interested in me than I am in her,” Harm finally admitted with a sigh.
Clay didn’t bother to hold back a sarcastic laugh at that, rolling his eyes in the darkness of the compartment. He had no idea why Harmon Rabb was suddenly sharing details of his personal life, but then again he seemed to be the only person at the party that Harm knew besides his date. Then there was the way Harm was always trying to bond with him, maybe this was just another offer of friendship. “I’m sure that’s nothing you haven’t handled before.”
“Can I ask you a personal question, Clay?”
This was dangerous territory - Rabb asking him personal questions in a tiny passenger compartment was a situation he’d normally avoid at all costs. He was still trying to figure out why exactly Harm had followed him in the first place, surely his date must be missing him by now. “You’re not going to give me a lecture on dating married women, are you, Rabb? Because I’ve already explained to you that Miranda and I are just friends.”
“No,” Harm answered, then he was moving forward and Clay felt his temperature rise a few notches. He was standing in front of Clay then, and he couldn’t even feel the cold night air coming in through the window with Harm’s body heat radiating toward him. “I wasn’t going to ask you about your date.”
“Then what?” Clay heard himself ask, his pulse racing as he prayed that Harm wouldn’t be able to hear his heart pounding in his chest. He willed himself to calm down, willed his body not to respond to Harm’s proximity. Suddenly the whole situation felt like something out of time, as though they’d stepped through the door of the train compartment into an alternate dimension and the rest of the world didn’t exist anymore. He shook his head to chase the dangerous thoughts away and looked up again, swallowing hard when his eyes locked with Harm’s.
Before he could react Harm was leaning down, his lips hovering barely an inch from Clay’s and making it difficult for the smaller man to think at all. A tortured groan escaped Clay’s throat as he leaned forward and fused their lips together, all rational thought leaving him as Harm’s hands landed on his hips and pulled him closer. He tasted Scotch and mint and cigars on Harm’s tongue, the combination surprisingly intoxicating as his body rebelled against his common sense and pressed itself into Harm’s solid frame. Then Harm’s hands were under his jacket and massaging his back, and before he could stop himself he reached for Harm’s shirt and began tugging it out of his pants.
If they’d kept it to a simple ill-advised kiss they might have been able to rationalize it away and move on, maybe even pretend it never happened eventually. The minute Clay started working on Harm’s clothes, however, they left behind any hope of denying this ever happened. In the back of Clay’s mind he knew this was a bad idea, that anyone could walk in and find them together and even if they didn’t they’d both regret this tomorrow. He couldn’t stop himself, though, he’d wanted this for too long to stop when Harm was finally offering him the thing he’d been fantasizing about for years.
Harm’s mouth left his and began working its way down his throat, strong fingers tugging at his bowtie and making short work of the buttons at his collar. He slid the taller man’s zipper down and slid a hand inside, a shiver rocking his body as Harm groaned and grew a little harder in his touch. He knew he should stop, he should turn around and walk out now while he could still make a clean break. The only problem was that he knew what Harm tasted like now, he knew how the man’s body felt against his and he knew that he had the power to make Harm forget all about his sense of right and wrong. That was a stronger aphrodisiac than anything else he’d ever experienced, and he found himself sliding to his knees and nuzzling his face in the heat emanating from Harm’s groin, breathing in the musky scent before he flicked his tongue out and tasted him for the first time.
Strong fingers wrapped in his hair and Harm let out a low groan as his hips bucked, thrusting his length further into Clay’s mouth. Clay swallowed around him before pulling his mouth back up until only the head was resting on his lips, his tongue teasing the sensitive tip until Harm moaned and tightened his grip on Clay’s hair. “Clay,” Harm whispered, his voice hoarse and deeper than Clay had ever heard it. “Please…”
Clay shook off the shock at hearing Harm moan his name and slid his mouth down the other man’s length again, using his tongue and lips to learn what made Harm tremble and whimper. He was close himself just from listening to Harm moan, and part of him wanted to stroke himself at the same time that he got Harm off. After all there was no telling if this would be reciprocal or if Harm would leave as soon as he finished, and there was no way he could ask the man to stay and finish the job. What they were doing was wrong in so many ways, but that knowledge made him want it even more.
He felt Harm tense and slid as far down the other man as he could, hollowing his cheeks as he tried to make him lose control. Harm grunted and came without warning, filling Clay’s mouth as his entire body trembled. Clay swallowed around him and kept moving, his tongue drawing lazy circles against Harm’s skin as he slowly pulled off the other man. When he stood up he expected Harm to avert his eyes while he straightened his clothes and walked out, but as soon as he was back on his feet he felt strong arms wrap around him and those perfect lips pressed against his mouth again.
Harm forced his lips apart with his tongue, forcing his way past Clay’s teeth to devour his mouth again. Shock and desire rocked Clay’s body, making him clutch even harder at Harm’s waist as he felt himself moving backwards. When his calves hit the seat Harm pushed him firmly down and slid down in front of him, their lips never parting as the taller man’s hands flew to his waistband and opened his pants. Clay gasped as he felt a calloused hand grip him roughly, the sound swallowed by Harm’s mouth as he continued his assault on Clay’s lips. Harm’s hand felt more amazing against him that he’d ever imagined, and he knew he was embarrassingly close to losing control. Then Harm’s hand was gone and his mouth tore away from Clay’s, and a whimpered protest escaped him before he could stop it.
He heard a low, throaty chuckle and opened his eyes in time to watch Harm’s mouth close around him, his eyes widening in shock as pleasure shot through his whole body. “Jesus,” he groaned, earning him another laugh that sent vibrations through his skin and up his spine. If he could think at all he might have said something sarcastic about how amused Harm was by this unlikely situation, but as it was it was all he could do to focus on not losing control too soon and losing the hot warmth of Harm’s mouth wrapped around him. It felt too good, though, and it had been too long since he’d done this. By the time Harm pulled off him and then swallowed him again just as fast he was only hanging on by the barest shred of control, and when Harm began humming low in his throat Clay let out a muffled gasp and came harder than he had in ages.
By the time he recovered Harm was zipping him back up again, but he was still on his knees in front of Clay. His hair was hopelessly tousled and Clay was sure he didn’t look much more composed, but on Harm it looked way too tempting. He opened his mouth to say something but the words wouldn’t come, there was nothing he could say that could begin to make what they’d just done okay. Then Harm smirked and let go of Clay’s bowtie, leaning forward and planting a quick kiss on the other man’s mouth. “Thanks, Webb. That was…educational.”
Before Clay could answer Harm was standing up, tucking his shirt back in as he opened the door to the compartment and stuck his head into the corridor to make sure the coast was clear. A second later he disappeared, leaving Clay still panting against the seat and wondering what the hell just happened and how he was ever going to look Harmon Rabb in the eye again.