Fic: Days to Come (The Pact, Spence/Lenny, PG13)
I'm supposed to be finishing my yuletide fic, but duckduck was bored at work again so I wrote this instead.
Title: Days to Come
Fandom: The Pact
Pairing: Spence/Lenny
Rating: PG13
Summary: Anticipation. Follows Five Floors Up.
Author's note: This didn't start out to be angsty, but reality sort of crept in there and I couldn't help myself. Besides, I like confusing Spence.
All through the opening arguments Spence's cheeks burned, and he'd had to fight the urge to look over his shoulder for Lenny even though he knew the other boy wasn't even in the courtroom. Lenny was sequestered somewhere with the other witnesses, and Spence wasn't sure why he had to be in the courtroom for the whole trial when nobody else did.
It felt like everyone in the room could take one look at him and know he'd just had sex for the first time - in an elevator, of all places - and every time he thought about it his cheeks burned a little hotter. Carver knew what he and Lenny had been doing; there was no way they could miss the smell of sex when the elevator doors closed, and Spence just knows he's going to die of embarrassment before he ever makes it back to his hotel room.
His hotel room, where Lenny's going to meet him tonight. Just the thought makes Spence's temperature spike, because even though it's impossible he knows Lenny will find a way. And he's still sitting in Carver's office, his foot tapping impatiently against worn carpet as he waits for Carver to show up so they can get the lecture over with and he can go back to his room to wait. There's no doubt in his mind that Lenny will show, and there's not much doubt what will happen when he gets there. And even though it's already happened once, he still blushes hot and bright to think of it.
He wonders too late if anyone in court noticed that his knees were dirty, and even that thought is enough to make him harder than he already was. Sitting in Carver's office thinking about sex is a bad idea, but he's been sitting here for way too long and every minute that ticks by is another minute he's not with Lenny. He's not even sure when Lenny became so important to him, although he thinks it was probably that first day when they pulled off the prank in the girls' locker room and then he saved Lenny's life for the first time.
And he doesn't think Lenny owes him anything, but he's been sitting here long enough to start worrying that maybe that's what Lenny thinks. Whoever said the waiting was the hardest part knew exactly what they were talking about, because it's been two hours now and this is officially torture. He stands up at the same instant the door swings open, his blush still firmly in place when Carver steps into the room and closes the door behind him.
"Going somewhere, Greg?"
For a second just the sound of his name makes Spence angry. Nobody calls him that anymore - nobody but Carver, anyway - and that's part of the game, right? Because he's not supposed to be Greg Sherman anymore; that part of his life is long gone, Carver made sure he understood that when all this started. Only his cover was blown when Lenny figured out who he was, and Spence knows there's no reason for Carver to keep calling him Steven now.
"I've been sitting here for two hours," he snaps, ignoring the petulant quality of his own voice. He knows he sounds like a spoiled kid, but all he really wants to do is get out of here and go back to the hotel. "Can't we debrief or whatever tomorrow?"
"I'll get my secretary to order you some dinner," Carver says, and Spence can tell by the way he sets his shoulders that he's planning to dig in his heels. There's really only one reason for him to draw this out, and Spence should have known better than to let anyone catch him and Lenny together.
"Not hungry," he lies, but he throws himself back into the chair and glowers across Carver's desk at him. "What am I doing here?"
Carver lets out a sigh that Spence has heard often enough to translate - he's still mad about Spence's disappearing act this morning, he's tired of dealing with spoiled kids and he's not used to people ignoring his orders. But Spence is tired of dealing with it too, and Carver's not the one who's been exiled to Canada for the past six months for something that has nothing to do with him.
"Today was just the preliminary," Carver says, shuffling through some files like the whole subject is boring him. "Opening arguments and jury selection is more of a dog and pony show than anything. The real trial starts tomorrow, and you've got to be prepared to hear some less than pleasant things about your father."
"We've already been through all this." He lets out a heavy sigh and glances toward the door even though he knows there's no way Carver is just going to let him go. They've been working this case way too long and Spence is the star witness, which means Carver hasn't left him alone for a minute since he got back to New York. His first taste of freedom was this morning, and it was way too short a taste.
Just thinking the word 'taste' makes him grin like an idiot, and his dick twitches again at the memory of Lenny's hand in his hair, Lenny's dark eyes fixed on him and the weight of Lenny's cock against his tongue. He still can't believe he went through with it, but he's not sorry. Not sorry at all, because he has a feeling the adrenaline made it a lot easier than if he'd had time to think about it.
"And we're going to keep going through it until this is all over." Spence looks up to find Carver frowning at him, and he blushes even harder when he realizes how he must look, smiling into space like some kind of moron.
"Look, I know what I'm supposed to do, okay?"
And he shouldn't be thinking about Lenny and sex while he's sitting in Carver's office, but he hasn't been able to think about anything else all day. He knows it's written all over his face, and he's positive that when he sees Lenny again Lenny will be able to tell exactly how much Spence wants him. It's not just about wanting, either, but he has no idea how Lenny feels about him so keeping it at sex seems like the safest plan.
"Well your little performance this morning certainly didn't make a good impression," Carver says, not quite meeting Spence's gaze. And it's obvious he's uncomfortable with the whole situation, but whether it's because Spence and Lenny are both guys or because Lenny tried to kill him he doesn't know.
"I haven't seen him in months," Spence answers, and he knows he's whining again but he doesn't really care. "I just wanted to talk to him for a minute."
For a second Carver looks like he might say something about the amount of 'talking' Spence and Lenny were doing, but then his mouth twists up like he just tasted something bad and he starts shuffling files again. "Don't forget he tried to kill you, Greg."
It's a low blow, but Spence flinches at the memory anyway. They haven't really talked about any of that - the few letters they wrote back and forth were more about what was going on at school and how much Lenny hated protective custody. The one time Lenny called Spence could tell he wanted to say something, but he never did get around to it and there's a part of Spence that can't help wondering. Still, he trusts Lenny, maybe more than he should, and he doesn't want to believe Lenny would betray him again.
"He saved me," Spence finally says, forcing himself to meet Carver's gaze. They both know it's true; it's the reason Lenny's not in jail right now, and it's the reason Spence knows Lenny wouldn't turn his back on Spence again.
"That doesn't mean you owe him anything, Greg. If it hadn't been for him…"
"If it hadn't been him they would have sent somebody else," Spence interrupts, anger making his cheeks burn even hotter, "and maybe that person wouldn't have hesitated. He stepped in front of a bullet for me. I can trust him."
Carver's mouth twists into an ugly parody of a smile, and Spence has to curl his hands into fists to keep from doing anything he'll regret. "How much do you know about him? Do you know how old he is?"
The question makes Spence pause, something hard curling in his stomach when he realizes Carver's right about at least this much. "No. What does it matter?"
"He's twenty years old, Spence. You're seventeen." Carver leans back in his chair as he says it, smiling like he's just proven some point.
"So?" Spence shoots back automatically, but the ball of fear in his stomach curls a little tighter and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. It's only three years, but a lot can happen in three years. He doesn't know anything about Lenny's life before he showed up at school; he doesn't know who Lenny hung out with, what he did for fun, who he's kissed. Spence remembers a clumsy, amateur blow job in the elevator and blushes hot and bright, looking down at his knees and wondering how he could be so stupid.
Another heavy sigh from across the desk, but Spence doesn't bother to look up. He knows the truth is written all over his face, and he doesn't want to give Carver the satisfaction. "Look, Greg, this has been a long road for everyone. It'll all be over soon, and then you'll have a new start. I'm just asking you to be careful for a little while longer. You've got to trust that everything we're doing is to keep you safe."
Spence rolls his eyes because he's heard all this before, but he knows arguing about it isn't going to change anything. Carver's still going to think of him as a dumb kid who needs protection, and in some ways Spence knows he's right. But he doesn't need protection from everything, and there are some things Carver shouldn't be able to mess with.
He wants to yell, to tell Carver that in one night his whole life disappeared - his parents, his school, his friends, everything - and there's no way he's letting Carver take Lenny from him too. Only now he's not so sure Lenny is really his, and when he thinks about Lenny showing up at his hotel room his stomach lurches. He takes a deep breath to try to settle his nerves, then stands up and forces himself to look at Carver. "I'm tired. Are we done here?"
For a long time Carver just looks at him, and Spence half expects him to come up with some reason to keep Spence here all night. But finally he nods and reaches for his phone, and Spence listens while Carver orders a car to drive him back to the hotel. He doesn't complain when Carver walks him down to the parking garage, and when the car pulls up and he gets inside he remembers that night they drove him to the airport and exiled him to Quebec for the first time.
He starts to pull the door shut but Carver's hand comes up to stop him, and when Spence looks up at him he wants to laugh, because he knows Carver's trying to do the fatherly thing. Only he has a father, and even though he's dead no one's ever going to replace him. "Just think about what I said, Greg. A few months from now this will all look a hell of a lot different."
Spence knows it's true, but after the past six months of his life, a few months from now seems like a long way off. "Don't call me that," is his only answer, and he catches a glimpse of Carver's confused frown as he finally pulls the door shut.
Title: Days to Come
Fandom: The Pact
Pairing: Spence/Lenny
Rating: PG13
Summary: Anticipation. Follows Five Floors Up.
Author's note: This didn't start out to be angsty, but reality sort of crept in there and I couldn't help myself. Besides, I like confusing Spence.
All through the opening arguments Spence's cheeks burned, and he'd had to fight the urge to look over his shoulder for Lenny even though he knew the other boy wasn't even in the courtroom. Lenny was sequestered somewhere with the other witnesses, and Spence wasn't sure why he had to be in the courtroom for the whole trial when nobody else did.
It felt like everyone in the room could take one look at him and know he'd just had sex for the first time - in an elevator, of all places - and every time he thought about it his cheeks burned a little hotter. Carver knew what he and Lenny had been doing; there was no way they could miss the smell of sex when the elevator doors closed, and Spence just knows he's going to die of embarrassment before he ever makes it back to his hotel room.
His hotel room, where Lenny's going to meet him tonight. Just the thought makes Spence's temperature spike, because even though it's impossible he knows Lenny will find a way. And he's still sitting in Carver's office, his foot tapping impatiently against worn carpet as he waits for Carver to show up so they can get the lecture over with and he can go back to his room to wait. There's no doubt in his mind that Lenny will show, and there's not much doubt what will happen when he gets there. And even though it's already happened once, he still blushes hot and bright to think of it.
He wonders too late if anyone in court noticed that his knees were dirty, and even that thought is enough to make him harder than he already was. Sitting in Carver's office thinking about sex is a bad idea, but he's been sitting here for way too long and every minute that ticks by is another minute he's not with Lenny. He's not even sure when Lenny became so important to him, although he thinks it was probably that first day when they pulled off the prank in the girls' locker room and then he saved Lenny's life for the first time.
And he doesn't think Lenny owes him anything, but he's been sitting here long enough to start worrying that maybe that's what Lenny thinks. Whoever said the waiting was the hardest part knew exactly what they were talking about, because it's been two hours now and this is officially torture. He stands up at the same instant the door swings open, his blush still firmly in place when Carver steps into the room and closes the door behind him.
"Going somewhere, Greg?"
For a second just the sound of his name makes Spence angry. Nobody calls him that anymore - nobody but Carver, anyway - and that's part of the game, right? Because he's not supposed to be Greg Sherman anymore; that part of his life is long gone, Carver made sure he understood that when all this started. Only his cover was blown when Lenny figured out who he was, and Spence knows there's no reason for Carver to keep calling him Steven now.
"I've been sitting here for two hours," he snaps, ignoring the petulant quality of his own voice. He knows he sounds like a spoiled kid, but all he really wants to do is get out of here and go back to the hotel. "Can't we debrief or whatever tomorrow?"
"I'll get my secretary to order you some dinner," Carver says, and Spence can tell by the way he sets his shoulders that he's planning to dig in his heels. There's really only one reason for him to draw this out, and Spence should have known better than to let anyone catch him and Lenny together.
"Not hungry," he lies, but he throws himself back into the chair and glowers across Carver's desk at him. "What am I doing here?"
Carver lets out a sigh that Spence has heard often enough to translate - he's still mad about Spence's disappearing act this morning, he's tired of dealing with spoiled kids and he's not used to people ignoring his orders. But Spence is tired of dealing with it too, and Carver's not the one who's been exiled to Canada for the past six months for something that has nothing to do with him.
"Today was just the preliminary," Carver says, shuffling through some files like the whole subject is boring him. "Opening arguments and jury selection is more of a dog and pony show than anything. The real trial starts tomorrow, and you've got to be prepared to hear some less than pleasant things about your father."
"We've already been through all this." He lets out a heavy sigh and glances toward the door even though he knows there's no way Carver is just going to let him go. They've been working this case way too long and Spence is the star witness, which means Carver hasn't left him alone for a minute since he got back to New York. His first taste of freedom was this morning, and it was way too short a taste.
Just thinking the word 'taste' makes him grin like an idiot, and his dick twitches again at the memory of Lenny's hand in his hair, Lenny's dark eyes fixed on him and the weight of Lenny's cock against his tongue. He still can't believe he went through with it, but he's not sorry. Not sorry at all, because he has a feeling the adrenaline made it a lot easier than if he'd had time to think about it.
"And we're going to keep going through it until this is all over." Spence looks up to find Carver frowning at him, and he blushes even harder when he realizes how he must look, smiling into space like some kind of moron.
"Look, I know what I'm supposed to do, okay?"
And he shouldn't be thinking about Lenny and sex while he's sitting in Carver's office, but he hasn't been able to think about anything else all day. He knows it's written all over his face, and he's positive that when he sees Lenny again Lenny will be able to tell exactly how much Spence wants him. It's not just about wanting, either, but he has no idea how Lenny feels about him so keeping it at sex seems like the safest plan.
"Well your little performance this morning certainly didn't make a good impression," Carver says, not quite meeting Spence's gaze. And it's obvious he's uncomfortable with the whole situation, but whether it's because Spence and Lenny are both guys or because Lenny tried to kill him he doesn't know.
"I haven't seen him in months," Spence answers, and he knows he's whining again but he doesn't really care. "I just wanted to talk to him for a minute."
For a second Carver looks like he might say something about the amount of 'talking' Spence and Lenny were doing, but then his mouth twists up like he just tasted something bad and he starts shuffling files again. "Don't forget he tried to kill you, Greg."
It's a low blow, but Spence flinches at the memory anyway. They haven't really talked about any of that - the few letters they wrote back and forth were more about what was going on at school and how much Lenny hated protective custody. The one time Lenny called Spence could tell he wanted to say something, but he never did get around to it and there's a part of Spence that can't help wondering. Still, he trusts Lenny, maybe more than he should, and he doesn't want to believe Lenny would betray him again.
"He saved me," Spence finally says, forcing himself to meet Carver's gaze. They both know it's true; it's the reason Lenny's not in jail right now, and it's the reason Spence knows Lenny wouldn't turn his back on Spence again.
"That doesn't mean you owe him anything, Greg. If it hadn't been for him…"
"If it hadn't been him they would have sent somebody else," Spence interrupts, anger making his cheeks burn even hotter, "and maybe that person wouldn't have hesitated. He stepped in front of a bullet for me. I can trust him."
Carver's mouth twists into an ugly parody of a smile, and Spence has to curl his hands into fists to keep from doing anything he'll regret. "How much do you know about him? Do you know how old he is?"
The question makes Spence pause, something hard curling in his stomach when he realizes Carver's right about at least this much. "No. What does it matter?"
"He's twenty years old, Spence. You're seventeen." Carver leans back in his chair as he says it, smiling like he's just proven some point.
"So?" Spence shoots back automatically, but the ball of fear in his stomach curls a little tighter and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. It's only three years, but a lot can happen in three years. He doesn't know anything about Lenny's life before he showed up at school; he doesn't know who Lenny hung out with, what he did for fun, who he's kissed. Spence remembers a clumsy, amateur blow job in the elevator and blushes hot and bright, looking down at his knees and wondering how he could be so stupid.
Another heavy sigh from across the desk, but Spence doesn't bother to look up. He knows the truth is written all over his face, and he doesn't want to give Carver the satisfaction. "Look, Greg, this has been a long road for everyone. It'll all be over soon, and then you'll have a new start. I'm just asking you to be careful for a little while longer. You've got to trust that everything we're doing is to keep you safe."
Spence rolls his eyes because he's heard all this before, but he knows arguing about it isn't going to change anything. Carver's still going to think of him as a dumb kid who needs protection, and in some ways Spence knows he's right. But he doesn't need protection from everything, and there are some things Carver shouldn't be able to mess with.
He wants to yell, to tell Carver that in one night his whole life disappeared - his parents, his school, his friends, everything - and there's no way he's letting Carver take Lenny from him too. Only now he's not so sure Lenny is really his, and when he thinks about Lenny showing up at his hotel room his stomach lurches. He takes a deep breath to try to settle his nerves, then stands up and forces himself to look at Carver. "I'm tired. Are we done here?"
For a long time Carver just looks at him, and Spence half expects him to come up with some reason to keep Spence here all night. But finally he nods and reaches for his phone, and Spence listens while Carver orders a car to drive him back to the hotel. He doesn't complain when Carver walks him down to the parking garage, and when the car pulls up and he gets inside he remembers that night they drove him to the airport and exiled him to Quebec for the first time.
He starts to pull the door shut but Carver's hand comes up to stop him, and when Spence looks up at him he wants to laugh, because he knows Carver's trying to do the fatherly thing. Only he has a father, and even though he's dead no one's ever going to replace him. "Just think about what I said, Greg. A few months from now this will all look a hell of a lot different."
Spence knows it's true, but after the past six months of his life, a few months from now seems like a long way off. "Don't call me that," is his only answer, and he catches a glimpse of Carver's confused frown as he finally pulls the door shut.