Fic: By Degrees (Ghost Ship, Dodge/Munder, NC17)
Well, sort of, anyway. Really it's just more soppy romantic fluff disguised as smut, but if you won't tell I won't either. Plus, it's Dodge and Munder, and they're always disgustingly romantic even when they're not saying anything. But they love each other, so who am I to stand in their way. And that's the whole point of this little project, after all.
So. Day three. Ghost Ship established relationship NC17 fic. This sort of tucks into the series sometime before the last part (or after, but let's not confuse ourselves with semantics), so you can read it as such or just call it a stand-alone bit of fluff. Either way, it serves the same purpose. I have to say, I'm not exactly thrilled with this piece, but I have to post something, and this one's the closest to passable that I've got at the moment.
And there's a ringing endorsement if I've ever heard one. It's my own fault for watching My Beautiful Laundrette yesterday instead of attempting to fix any of the dreck I've written in the past two days.
The apartment door opened while Munder was flipping idly through the channels, a cigarette dangling from his free hand and his wet hair dripping onto his bare shoulders. He barely glanced up when the door opened, grunting an acknowledgement when Dodge walked in. He knew he didn't have any right to be annoyed at something as simple as waking up alone, but he'd gotten used to Dodge being there when he woke up in their bed. And he was still getting used to that -- their bed still sounded weird even in his head -- so it was weird to wake up alone on one of the few days they were actually home.
Granted, he'd slept pretty late this morning, but they'd been up most of the night taking advantage of the rare privacy, and he'd been hoping for a repeat performance or possibly even a shared shower in the morning. Dodge seemed completely oblivious, though; he was dressed in that ratty off-white fisherman's sweater and a pair of khakis, and he didn't even glance at Munder before he headed to the kitchen to rummage around in one of the cabinets.
"Where were you?" Munder asked, staring at the wisps of smoke coming from his cigarette so he wouldn't have to see Dodge's reaction to the question.
Dodge didn't answer right away; he was making a lot of noise in the kitchen, and Munder wondered if he'd even heard the question. He finally found whatever he was looking for and walked into the living room, dropping down onto the second-hand recliner across from the couch and leaning over to take off his boots.
Munder had watched him oil those boots at least a hundred times since Dodge asked him to move in, but he never got tired of watching the progress of Dodge's hands over the well-worn leather. Hell, Dodge had even started oiling Munder's boots, and he had to admit that it made him feel good to know how much Dodge cared. Right now, though, he was still annoyed about the whole empty bed thing, and part of him wanted to pull the bottle of oil out of Dodge's hands and make him look up.
As soon as he thought it Dodge did look up, and Munder found himself wondering if Dodge had somehow managed to read his mind. "The lease on this place expires soon," Dodge said, leaning over to pick up one of his boots before he continued. "I went by the landlord's place to see about putting you on it. We need to bring him a copy of your driver's license and you've gotta sign some papers."
And okay, he hadn't been expecting that. He hadn't even thought about the whole lease thing, really, because he was used to living on whatever boat he was working on, and renting by the week or sometimes even the day when he was ashore. When Dodge had asked him to move in he hadn't really thought past their next job, because he'd just assumed Dodge would be so sick of him by then that he'd be ready to cut his losses. Only that hadn't happened, and at some point Dodge's place had become their place.
"What does it matter if I'm on the lease?"
Dodge looked up from his boots, a dingy white rag dangling from one hand and his expression guarded, the way it used to be back when they first met and Dodge wasn't sure if Munder meant it when he flirted. "Thought you might want to. It's your place too, right?"
"Yeah," Munder answered, although he was pretty sure that was the first time either of them had actually said it out loud. He knew how Dodge felt about him; he wasn't shy about saying it the way Munder was, and he'd known since Dodge asked him to move in that he was talking long-term. Munder had never really believed it, though, because he knew what a pain in the ass he was to live with and he knew what kind of lives they led. Their relationship wasn't exactly something they could advertise, not if they ever wanted to work again.
"Look, if you don't want to..."
"It's not that," Munder interrupted, guilt overtaking his fear about what they were getting themselves into. He could hear the uncertainty in Dodge's voice and he knew it was his fault -- he'd put that there, by never being able to say how he felt out loud, and by his reactions every time Dodge tried to bring up the future. "Look, what are we talking about here? I mean is this just to keep your landlord happy, or are we talking 'for richer or for poorer' and all that?"
As soon as he said it he wished he could take it back, because the vague disappointment in Dodge's expression shifted to shock, then amusement. "Did you just ask me to marry you?"
"No," Munder answered a little too quickly, but he couldn't deny -- at least to himself -- that he'd been wondering since Dodge first said the words 'I love you' if it meant 'forever'. He knew no one could predict the rest of their lives, especially not two guys like him and Dodge, but there was a part of him that wanted that even if he'd never be able to say it out loud. "That's not what I meant."
His fingers itched for something to do and he felt a lot more naked suddenly in just the pair of pants he'd pulled on after his shower, but when he reached for his pack of cigarettes Dodge stood up and pulled them out of his hand again. He smelled like worn leather and oil as he slid onto the couch beside Munder, leaning over him to toss the smokes onto the coffee table.
"I don't need some piece of paper to tell me how I feel," Dodge said when he straightened up again, his breath hitting Munder's cheek and sending a hot shiver down his spine, "and I doubt we could get anybody around here to do the honors anyway. But if it means that much to you we could take a couple days off, fly to Vegas or Vermont or wherever."
Munder laughed at the image that conjured, but the sound was high and nervous in the back of his throat, and his fingers clenched around Dodge's sweater reflexively. "What, 'I, Evan Munder take you, Charles Dodge'? You'd really...is that what we're doing here?"
"I don't know, man. You tell me -- what are we doing here?"
He knew Dodge expected an answer, and he knew it was an important question. This was their whole future they were talking about, and after nine months together Munder didn't want to imagine a future without Dodge in it. He knew he should say that out loud, that Dodge had a right to know that Munder was in this for the long haul too. But the hands stroking down his bare chest were distracting, and when Dodge leaned in and pressed their mouths together Munder forgot what it was he was supposed to be thinking about.
Dodge's hands settled at the base of his stomach, expert fingers working open the pants he'd pulled on less than an hour ago. And he wasn't sure when they'd gone from deciding their future to mid-morning sex on the couch, but when Dodge slid off the couch to kneel on the floor in front of him he decided it didn't really matter. He knew he should make Dodge stop, be the responsible one for once in his life and get this straightened out before they got any more distracted. Instead he ran shaky fingers through blond hair as Dodge's hand slid inside his pants, carefully pulling his dick out and stroking him to hardness.
His eyelids fluttered but he fought to keep his eyes open, watching Dodge's face as Dodge watched him. And it wasn't even close to the first time Dodge had been on his knees this way, but it felt more intense somehow and when that hot mouth closed over the head of his cock he couldn't help thrusting up into the sensation.
He'd never been in love before -- at least not since he was sixteen and too dumb to know better -- so he'd never really believed all that stuff about how much better sex was when you were in love. He still wasn't sure he believed that, but sex was definitely different with Dodge than it had ever been with anybody else. It was more intense, for one thing, and he was never left feeling like he should have just gone home and jerked off rather than get all sweaty with some stranger who wouldn't even look him in the eyes the next time their paths happened to cross.
Maybe the difference was that with Dodge he was home, and everything they did together just made him want more. Even lying in the dark talking about nothing was good, and that was something he'd never had much use for in the past. And when they were on a job together and they went days sometimes without finding time to be alone, it just made stolen kisses in the bathroom or even underwater that much better.
It was weird, and sometimes it made him feel like a kid when they had to sneak around behind the crew's back just to spend a little time together, but he'd never once stopped to wonder if it was worth it. Anything he had to do to keep them together was worth it, and he figured that was as good as any piece of paper that said they belonged to each other.
He groaned when Dodge's tongue teased the tip of his cock, his teeth just grazing the underside of Munder's length before his mouth slid back down and Dodge swallowed around his cock. Munder grunted and angled his hips up as much as he could with Dodge's hand holding him against the couch, his other hand stroking the skin behind Munder's balls.
He tried to spread his legs a little further, but his pants were still mostly on and holding him in place. In the end he settled for stroking Dodge's hair, his fingers flexing against the other man's scalp with each new wave of pleasure. He knew he was whispering Dodge's name over and over, a litany that he wasn't even sure the other man could hear. Then Dodge groaned around his cock and Munder let go, thrusting one last time before he came.
By the time he managed to open his eyes again Dodge was sitting back on his heels, the corners of his mouth turned up in a bemused grin as he watched Munder pant for breath. "You love me?"
"Yeah," Munder answered. His heart skipped a beat the way it did every time Dodge asked, and he wished for the thousandth time that he wasn't such a coward about saying the words.
"Then it doesn't matter what some piece of paper says."
Dodge grinned and pushed himself off the floor, tugging his sweater over his head before he slid onto the couch and pushed Munder onto his back. When he leaned in for another kiss Munder tasted himself still lingering on Dodge's tongue, a fresh shiver running down his spine as he thrust up into the body on top of him. And he knew he'd freak out later when he'd had time to think about it, but for now 'forever' seemed like a pretty good plan.
~
In other news, today is Live Journal lurker amnesty day, apparently. What this means is that if you're lurking around LJ and not posting because you don't have an account, today is the day when I invite you to e-mail me or leave a comment so I can send you a code. Sadly, I only have two codes (I think) left, as I hand them out like candy as often as possible. But if you're a lurker and you'd like an LJ account, whether to have your own journal or just so you can comment on other people's journals, I can get you a code. So leave a message or e-mail me: caroline_crane@hotmail.com
Come on, you know you want to. Let Live Journal take over your life make your fannish experience more complete. And now, my cramps and I are going back to bed.
So. Day three. Ghost Ship established relationship NC17 fic. This sort of tucks into the series sometime before the last part (or after, but let's not confuse ourselves with semantics), so you can read it as such or just call it a stand-alone bit of fluff. Either way, it serves the same purpose. I have to say, I'm not exactly thrilled with this piece, but I have to post something, and this one's the closest to passable that I've got at the moment.
And there's a ringing endorsement if I've ever heard one. It's my own fault for watching My Beautiful Laundrette yesterday instead of attempting to fix any of the dreck I've written in the past two days.
The apartment door opened while Munder was flipping idly through the channels, a cigarette dangling from his free hand and his wet hair dripping onto his bare shoulders. He barely glanced up when the door opened, grunting an acknowledgement when Dodge walked in. He knew he didn't have any right to be annoyed at something as simple as waking up alone, but he'd gotten used to Dodge being there when he woke up in their bed. And he was still getting used to that -- their bed still sounded weird even in his head -- so it was weird to wake up alone on one of the few days they were actually home.
Granted, he'd slept pretty late this morning, but they'd been up most of the night taking advantage of the rare privacy, and he'd been hoping for a repeat performance or possibly even a shared shower in the morning. Dodge seemed completely oblivious, though; he was dressed in that ratty off-white fisherman's sweater and a pair of khakis, and he didn't even glance at Munder before he headed to the kitchen to rummage around in one of the cabinets.
"Where were you?" Munder asked, staring at the wisps of smoke coming from his cigarette so he wouldn't have to see Dodge's reaction to the question.
Dodge didn't answer right away; he was making a lot of noise in the kitchen, and Munder wondered if he'd even heard the question. He finally found whatever he was looking for and walked into the living room, dropping down onto the second-hand recliner across from the couch and leaning over to take off his boots.
Munder had watched him oil those boots at least a hundred times since Dodge asked him to move in, but he never got tired of watching the progress of Dodge's hands over the well-worn leather. Hell, Dodge had even started oiling Munder's boots, and he had to admit that it made him feel good to know how much Dodge cared. Right now, though, he was still annoyed about the whole empty bed thing, and part of him wanted to pull the bottle of oil out of Dodge's hands and make him look up.
As soon as he thought it Dodge did look up, and Munder found himself wondering if Dodge had somehow managed to read his mind. "The lease on this place expires soon," Dodge said, leaning over to pick up one of his boots before he continued. "I went by the landlord's place to see about putting you on it. We need to bring him a copy of your driver's license and you've gotta sign some papers."
And okay, he hadn't been expecting that. He hadn't even thought about the whole lease thing, really, because he was used to living on whatever boat he was working on, and renting by the week or sometimes even the day when he was ashore. When Dodge had asked him to move in he hadn't really thought past their next job, because he'd just assumed Dodge would be so sick of him by then that he'd be ready to cut his losses. Only that hadn't happened, and at some point Dodge's place had become their place.
"What does it matter if I'm on the lease?"
Dodge looked up from his boots, a dingy white rag dangling from one hand and his expression guarded, the way it used to be back when they first met and Dodge wasn't sure if Munder meant it when he flirted. "Thought you might want to. It's your place too, right?"
"Yeah," Munder answered, although he was pretty sure that was the first time either of them had actually said it out loud. He knew how Dodge felt about him; he wasn't shy about saying it the way Munder was, and he'd known since Dodge asked him to move in that he was talking long-term. Munder had never really believed it, though, because he knew what a pain in the ass he was to live with and he knew what kind of lives they led. Their relationship wasn't exactly something they could advertise, not if they ever wanted to work again.
"Look, if you don't want to..."
"It's not that," Munder interrupted, guilt overtaking his fear about what they were getting themselves into. He could hear the uncertainty in Dodge's voice and he knew it was his fault -- he'd put that there, by never being able to say how he felt out loud, and by his reactions every time Dodge tried to bring up the future. "Look, what are we talking about here? I mean is this just to keep your landlord happy, or are we talking 'for richer or for poorer' and all that?"
As soon as he said it he wished he could take it back, because the vague disappointment in Dodge's expression shifted to shock, then amusement. "Did you just ask me to marry you?"
"No," Munder answered a little too quickly, but he couldn't deny -- at least to himself -- that he'd been wondering since Dodge first said the words 'I love you' if it meant 'forever'. He knew no one could predict the rest of their lives, especially not two guys like him and Dodge, but there was a part of him that wanted that even if he'd never be able to say it out loud. "That's not what I meant."
His fingers itched for something to do and he felt a lot more naked suddenly in just the pair of pants he'd pulled on after his shower, but when he reached for his pack of cigarettes Dodge stood up and pulled them out of his hand again. He smelled like worn leather and oil as he slid onto the couch beside Munder, leaning over him to toss the smokes onto the coffee table.
"I don't need some piece of paper to tell me how I feel," Dodge said when he straightened up again, his breath hitting Munder's cheek and sending a hot shiver down his spine, "and I doubt we could get anybody around here to do the honors anyway. But if it means that much to you we could take a couple days off, fly to Vegas or Vermont or wherever."
Munder laughed at the image that conjured, but the sound was high and nervous in the back of his throat, and his fingers clenched around Dodge's sweater reflexively. "What, 'I, Evan Munder take you, Charles Dodge'? You'd really...is that what we're doing here?"
"I don't know, man. You tell me -- what are we doing here?"
He knew Dodge expected an answer, and he knew it was an important question. This was their whole future they were talking about, and after nine months together Munder didn't want to imagine a future without Dodge in it. He knew he should say that out loud, that Dodge had a right to know that Munder was in this for the long haul too. But the hands stroking down his bare chest were distracting, and when Dodge leaned in and pressed their mouths together Munder forgot what it was he was supposed to be thinking about.
Dodge's hands settled at the base of his stomach, expert fingers working open the pants he'd pulled on less than an hour ago. And he wasn't sure when they'd gone from deciding their future to mid-morning sex on the couch, but when Dodge slid off the couch to kneel on the floor in front of him he decided it didn't really matter. He knew he should make Dodge stop, be the responsible one for once in his life and get this straightened out before they got any more distracted. Instead he ran shaky fingers through blond hair as Dodge's hand slid inside his pants, carefully pulling his dick out and stroking him to hardness.
His eyelids fluttered but he fought to keep his eyes open, watching Dodge's face as Dodge watched him. And it wasn't even close to the first time Dodge had been on his knees this way, but it felt more intense somehow and when that hot mouth closed over the head of his cock he couldn't help thrusting up into the sensation.
He'd never been in love before -- at least not since he was sixteen and too dumb to know better -- so he'd never really believed all that stuff about how much better sex was when you were in love. He still wasn't sure he believed that, but sex was definitely different with Dodge than it had ever been with anybody else. It was more intense, for one thing, and he was never left feeling like he should have just gone home and jerked off rather than get all sweaty with some stranger who wouldn't even look him in the eyes the next time their paths happened to cross.
Maybe the difference was that with Dodge he was home, and everything they did together just made him want more. Even lying in the dark talking about nothing was good, and that was something he'd never had much use for in the past. And when they were on a job together and they went days sometimes without finding time to be alone, it just made stolen kisses in the bathroom or even underwater that much better.
It was weird, and sometimes it made him feel like a kid when they had to sneak around behind the crew's back just to spend a little time together, but he'd never once stopped to wonder if it was worth it. Anything he had to do to keep them together was worth it, and he figured that was as good as any piece of paper that said they belonged to each other.
He groaned when Dodge's tongue teased the tip of his cock, his teeth just grazing the underside of Munder's length before his mouth slid back down and Dodge swallowed around his cock. Munder grunted and angled his hips up as much as he could with Dodge's hand holding him against the couch, his other hand stroking the skin behind Munder's balls.
He tried to spread his legs a little further, but his pants were still mostly on and holding him in place. In the end he settled for stroking Dodge's hair, his fingers flexing against the other man's scalp with each new wave of pleasure. He knew he was whispering Dodge's name over and over, a litany that he wasn't even sure the other man could hear. Then Dodge groaned around his cock and Munder let go, thrusting one last time before he came.
By the time he managed to open his eyes again Dodge was sitting back on his heels, the corners of his mouth turned up in a bemused grin as he watched Munder pant for breath. "You love me?"
"Yeah," Munder answered. His heart skipped a beat the way it did every time Dodge asked, and he wished for the thousandth time that he wasn't such a coward about saying the words.
"Then it doesn't matter what some piece of paper says."
Dodge grinned and pushed himself off the floor, tugging his sweater over his head before he slid onto the couch and pushed Munder onto his back. When he leaned in for another kiss Munder tasted himself still lingering on Dodge's tongue, a fresh shiver running down his spine as he thrust up into the body on top of him. And he knew he'd freak out later when he'd had time to think about it, but for now 'forever' seemed like a pretty good plan.
~
In other news, today is Live Journal lurker amnesty day, apparently. What this means is that if you're lurking around LJ and not posting because you don't have an account, today is the day when I invite you to e-mail me or leave a comment so I can send you a code. Sadly, I only have two codes (I think) left, as I hand them out like candy as often as possible. But if you're a lurker and you'd like an LJ account, whether to have your own journal or just so you can comment on other people's journals, I can get you a code. So leave a message or e-mail me: caroline_crane@hotmail.com
Come on, you know you want to. Let Live Journal take over your life make your fannish experience more complete. And now, my cramps and I are going back to bed.