Go figure
I’ve mused & perused (actually there really was no need to add ‘perused’ into that mix…I just wanted to make use of a word I don’t normally get to use) this and have now decided (unless of course fate does not want me to go down this path & in which case I will be enlightened at some point that is not now) that I would like to go into Emergency Medicine.
[For the confused…and by that I suspect everyone, no need to re-read while skipping the brackets, just read the following]
I’ve mused & perused this and have now decided that I would like to go into Emergency Medicine.
It was a toss-up between Intensive Care and Emergency-though this may sound strange, I hadn’t actually really thought about it very much, it was just the response I gave whenever someone asked me what I was interested in. I don’t know…it just seemed like that was the natural answer, the answer my psyche had come up with & for some reason I never really questioned myself. I just always took it as something that made sense…I mean do you usually question things when there seems to be nothing wrong with it? (Bar perfection, because perfection gives me the creeps).
AT first (after I decided), the only thing holding me back was reality kicking in and therefore the practicality of choosing something like this. It’s funny though, when I was trying to think of the term that kind of encompasses their similarities, my friend very aptly put it as “The 2 most stressful specialties.”
I’d never thought of it like that before, and I wouldn’t say that they are the top 2 but I’m sure they are up there.
And well, they had a point-if I chose to go down this path (that is if I pass all the required examinations etc…when the time comes) every type of stress that comes along with being a hospital worker comes into play. Getting called to come to the hospital at odd hours, long working hours, violent patients…i.e. just lots of stress in all its forms. It’s not so much the stress thing though, it’s more what I might not be able to ‘fit’ into my life, and I know it probably sounds selfish, but I think you need to think like this sometimes, because if you’re having doubts then it’d be best that someone else does the job. I don’t know how I’d be able to manage family life if I chose to have kids (which I would like)…I think this is the foremost thing that’s bugging me. I mean I could just work and not have kids, but I don’t really want that.
At the same time, no other specialty (as of yet) has made me excited to think about what I could be doing and when I think about it, no other specialty epitomises so much of what I find so important in medicine. It probably doesn’t make much sense-but when you have to work in emergencies, there’s no second thoughts, you just do it; just everything you can-everything you’re capable of to save (or stabilise)…it’s just good intention that takes play, there’s no room for thinking about the sorts of things that might drift into your mind if you were working in not as “time-poor” conditions. Of course, that’s not to say that the wrong decision won’t be made, it’s more the intention really…because I think when you have time to ponder and you’re not acting by ‘reflex’ (so to speak)-your mind can wander into the fields that I hope never to enter.
And well, with the intensive care thing, it’s mainly for personal psychological reasons-so I’d hoped to dilute what in my mind now spells corruption, and do all the things that I had hoped to be done but weren’t back then. However, don’t ever play with your mind (especially your own), it screws you up. So I thought intensive care medicine was too much of a reminder. Something I don’t want-lest I really become that bitter old woman I’m constantly joking about (but am now secretly scared of becoming…well secret to other people).
Since my knowledge is very limited (how paradoxical), I’ll stick to this decision and I guess I’ll find out in a few years, what the Emergency Dept is like and how I cope with working in such an environment. We’ll see…and I suppose I could change to something else if I start falling out of the ‘ability-to-cope’ zone…hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this zone before, because in my mind it means mental breakdown. Heh, which I don’t want to ever experience…so I guess that just means I’ll have to learn to adapt.
As of late, I’ve been relapsing into extreme loss of direction. I have trouble achieving things competently when I can’t see what I’m working towards…but now I think I’ve got it figured out and it makes me feel a lot lighter. My goals are realised methodically.
It’s not healthy, but anger (and to some extent resentment) fuels much of my desire to be a ‘good’ person and one day a good doctor.
It makes me angry (well, lots and lots of things make me angry, but we’ll stick to one thing today) when I see people who aim to become ‘directors’ of certain divisions in the healthcare system, because it is in essence a form of politics. Politics is needed of course (I’m not debating that) in every social structure, but when an individual strives to be a head figure early on, when they haven’t even been immersed in the system yet i.e. if they were, it’d be different because they would at least understand the position and the kinds of roles that they would play…but as a student?
This kind of ambition in my mind is just power-hungry, an empty ambition; one of the most selfish ambitions I can imagine because by making such a ‘decision’ at this stage says nothing more than desire for expansion of ego and power. It’s not like wanting to be the ‘director’ of a specific organisation that may have a significant influences on the way one would perceive things at this stage, but just generically ‘a’ director…any director position it seems. It disgusts me.
I’m idealistic and opinionated, so I’d like to think that most people choosing to study in healthcare courses generally only strive to ‘lead’ when they want to evoke change; to do good. Obviously this is not the case…and well, things don’t go by what my head tells me. Obviously.
(Passive lefty I am.)
I’ll be passive until I feel strongly enough about something…but if the issue doesn’t make my brain or heart twist, then it’s best that someone who actually feels this way do the job. You’re the best person for the job until you start to think otherwise.
In this vein, I’m also idealised enough to think that you can do anything so long as you believe you can, and in my opinion, I think it’s been proved many times-it just so happens that most of us are just too lazy and lack the drive to push ourselves to the point that others have, in order to achieve seemingly impossible goals.
Moving on.
How come I never see women participating in birdman rallies? Yes, I know it’s not called birdwoman rally…but really…
I want to go into a comp one day (the team division), it looks fun…so long as the craft is fashioned out of something that wouldn’t have the chance of causing severe head/neck/spinal injuries…like one of those big metal, dumpster bins (with L.J Richards on the side) on wheels, which just flipped when pushed off the edge and narrowly missed the ‘pilot’s’ head/neck.
My idea of the ideal craft is one made of cereal boxes taped together and painted with acrylic paint…not incredibly efficient and I know that the aim is to ‘fly’ for a short distance, but we all know that, that’s impossible so must as well make it cost-effective and doomed for some a epic phailing.
I have no idea why, but I’m immediately suspicious of people sporting ‘bum fluff’ facial hair. I really don’t know why but I think they’re sus & therefore cannot be trusted (& for reasons unbeknownst to me, perverted…eh? You tell me why).
P.S. Apparently, “no-one” wants to be an ED (Emergency Dept) Specialist but for some reason this hasn’t even played a slight role in deterring me. I take it as a good sign…either that it just shows how stubborn I am.
[For the confused…and by that I suspect everyone, no need to re-read while skipping the brackets, just read the following]
I’ve mused & perused this and have now decided that I would like to go into Emergency Medicine.
It was a toss-up between Intensive Care and Emergency-though this may sound strange, I hadn’t actually really thought about it very much, it was just the response I gave whenever someone asked me what I was interested in. I don’t know…it just seemed like that was the natural answer, the answer my psyche had come up with & for some reason I never really questioned myself. I just always took it as something that made sense…I mean do you usually question things when there seems to be nothing wrong with it? (Bar perfection, because perfection gives me the creeps).
AT first (after I decided), the only thing holding me back was reality kicking in and therefore the practicality of choosing something like this. It’s funny though, when I was trying to think of the term that kind of encompasses their similarities, my friend very aptly put it as “The 2 most stressful specialties.”
I’d never thought of it like that before, and I wouldn’t say that they are the top 2 but I’m sure they are up there.
And well, they had a point-if I chose to go down this path (that is if I pass all the required examinations etc…when the time comes) every type of stress that comes along with being a hospital worker comes into play. Getting called to come to the hospital at odd hours, long working hours, violent patients…i.e. just lots of stress in all its forms. It’s not so much the stress thing though, it’s more what I might not be able to ‘fit’ into my life, and I know it probably sounds selfish, but I think you need to think like this sometimes, because if you’re having doubts then it’d be best that someone else does the job. I don’t know how I’d be able to manage family life if I chose to have kids (which I would like)…I think this is the foremost thing that’s bugging me. I mean I could just work and not have kids, but I don’t really want that.
At the same time, no other specialty (as of yet) has made me excited to think about what I could be doing and when I think about it, no other specialty epitomises so much of what I find so important in medicine. It probably doesn’t make much sense-but when you have to work in emergencies, there’s no second thoughts, you just do it; just everything you can-everything you’re capable of to save (or stabilise)…it’s just good intention that takes play, there’s no room for thinking about the sorts of things that might drift into your mind if you were working in not as “time-poor” conditions. Of course, that’s not to say that the wrong decision won’t be made, it’s more the intention really…because I think when you have time to ponder and you’re not acting by ‘reflex’ (so to speak)-your mind can wander into the fields that I hope never to enter.
And well, with the intensive care thing, it’s mainly for personal psychological reasons-so I’d hoped to dilute what in my mind now spells corruption, and do all the things that I had hoped to be done but weren’t back then. However, don’t ever play with your mind (especially your own), it screws you up. So I thought intensive care medicine was too much of a reminder. Something I don’t want-lest I really become that bitter old woman I’m constantly joking about (but am now secretly scared of becoming…well secret to other people).
Since my knowledge is very limited (how paradoxical), I’ll stick to this decision and I guess I’ll find out in a few years, what the Emergency Dept is like and how I cope with working in such an environment. We’ll see…and I suppose I could change to something else if I start falling out of the ‘ability-to-cope’ zone…hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this zone before, because in my mind it means mental breakdown. Heh, which I don’t want to ever experience…so I guess that just means I’ll have to learn to adapt.
As of late, I’ve been relapsing into extreme loss of direction. I have trouble achieving things competently when I can’t see what I’m working towards…but now I think I’ve got it figured out and it makes me feel a lot lighter. My goals are realised methodically.
It’s not healthy, but anger (and to some extent resentment) fuels much of my desire to be a ‘good’ person and one day a good doctor.
It makes me angry (well, lots and lots of things make me angry, but we’ll stick to one thing today) when I see people who aim to become ‘directors’ of certain divisions in the healthcare system, because it is in essence a form of politics. Politics is needed of course (I’m not debating that) in every social structure, but when an individual strives to be a head figure early on, when they haven’t even been immersed in the system yet i.e. if they were, it’d be different because they would at least understand the position and the kinds of roles that they would play…but as a student?
This kind of ambition in my mind is just power-hungry, an empty ambition; one of the most selfish ambitions I can imagine because by making such a ‘decision’ at this stage says nothing more than desire for expansion of ego and power. It’s not like wanting to be the ‘director’ of a specific organisation that may have a significant influences on the way one would perceive things at this stage, but just generically ‘a’ director…any director position it seems. It disgusts me.
I’m idealistic and opinionated, so I’d like to think that most people choosing to study in healthcare courses generally only strive to ‘lead’ when they want to evoke change; to do good. Obviously this is not the case…and well, things don’t go by what my head tells me. Obviously.
(Passive lefty I am.)
I’ll be passive until I feel strongly enough about something…but if the issue doesn’t make my brain or heart twist, then it’s best that someone who actually feels this way do the job. You’re the best person for the job until you start to think otherwise.
In this vein, I’m also idealised enough to think that you can do anything so long as you believe you can, and in my opinion, I think it’s been proved many times-it just so happens that most of us are just too lazy and lack the drive to push ourselves to the point that others have, in order to achieve seemingly impossible goals.
Moving on.
How come I never see women participating in birdman rallies? Yes, I know it’s not called birdwoman rally…but really…
I want to go into a comp one day (the team division), it looks fun…so long as the craft is fashioned out of something that wouldn’t have the chance of causing severe head/neck/spinal injuries…like one of those big metal, dumpster bins (with L.J Richards on the side) on wheels, which just flipped when pushed off the edge and narrowly missed the ‘pilot’s’ head/neck.
My idea of the ideal craft is one made of cereal boxes taped together and painted with acrylic paint…not incredibly efficient and I know that the aim is to ‘fly’ for a short distance, but we all know that, that’s impossible so must as well make it cost-effective and doomed for some a epic phailing.
I have no idea why, but I’m immediately suspicious of people sporting ‘bum fluff’ facial hair. I really don’t know why but I think they’re sus & therefore cannot be trusted (& for reasons unbeknownst to me, perverted…eh? You tell me why).
P.S. Apparently, “no-one” wants to be an ED (Emergency Dept) Specialist but for some reason this hasn’t even played a slight role in deterring me. I take it as a good sign…either that it just shows how stubborn I am.