(no subject)
it's strange, because i just want to be with chris. i just want it to work. but something is irreparable. in some fundamental way, we are simply not compatible people. in many ways, he is just a child. but anyways, he's moving back to north port. his anxiety and panic attacks are just getting worse and worse. doctors can't find anything to make it stop. but anyways, that's not the point. it has to end, i know it is good and healthy for me, but some stronger part of me just can't let go. i know it drives me crazy. i know i'm not treated right. i know it causes more pain than pleasure. but some part of me just cannot let go.