faust arp
i haven't slept since i woke up at 9:15 yesterday, having gone to bed between 2-3am the night prior. i'm just keeping track of this because i don't know if i'll have the opportunity to sleep before tonight and i don't know, maybe i'll start hallucinating or something. i stayed up till 4:30am to finish aleksandr solzhenitsyn's cancer ward, which is about, as i am sure you can guess, a cancer ward. four hundred pages of cancer and tumors. a terrible, amazing novel, which i wish i hadn't had to consume in one evening. i tried to sleep but it didn't work so i turned to abram terts, and how pleasantly bizarre and humorous it was after such wrenching, consuming tragedy. 400 pages of that. now, on to the life & extraordinary adventures pf private ivan chonkin, 316 pages of satire and humor, i hope hope hope please. i'm finishing up the second-to-last short story, and then there is one last essay on socialist realism and then reviewing one book and seven short stories and one speech. damn. and memorizing the dates of publications and the important events and figures and dates in russian history, culture and literature from 1934 to 2000. damn.
7:30am on monday: my last final, russian literature of the twentieth century. i set the curve on the midterm, then i started skipping class and neglecting my readings because, well, when confronted with a 500-page book on cancer or a 400-page book on the rise of the french consumer and shopping culture, you take on the less daunting and swear you'll read the other during the reading days. and the caroline of last year would have made that promise, and then spent the weekend partying anyways (especially because Deeeee surprised us all and came to visit!) and neglecting her studies until sunday night. but no! no rest for the weary but we must trudge on.
but my point is: after reading 400 pages about cancer in one sitting, one evening, with no company but your cat and dog and a pack of cigarettes and cup after cup after cup of coffee, and an adderol to boot (i hate that i finally gave into it but desperate times, desperate measures), you go a little crazy. i'll probably be an absolutely awful excuse for a functioning human until monday, 9:30am i'm done and i'm entering my last semester in college. i'm losing my mind.
oh! that's not all but i must get back to reading. ryan keeps me sane and very happy. and in rainbows! listen. jax.
7:30am on monday: my last final, russian literature of the twentieth century. i set the curve on the midterm, then i started skipping class and neglecting my readings because, well, when confronted with a 500-page book on cancer or a 400-page book on the rise of the french consumer and shopping culture, you take on the less daunting and swear you'll read the other during the reading days. and the caroline of last year would have made that promise, and then spent the weekend partying anyways (especially because Deeeee surprised us all and came to visit!) and neglecting her studies until sunday night. but no! no rest for the weary but we must trudge on.
but my point is: after reading 400 pages about cancer in one sitting, one evening, with no company but your cat and dog and a pack of cigarettes and cup after cup after cup of coffee, and an adderol to boot (i hate that i finally gave into it but desperate times, desperate measures), you go a little crazy. i'll probably be an absolutely awful excuse for a functioning human until monday, 9:30am i'm done and i'm entering my last semester in college. i'm losing my mind.
oh! that's not all but i must get back to reading. ryan keeps me sane and very happy. and in rainbows! listen. jax.