The end of what, exactly? I've known you (i wouldn't even really say known. although i just did.) for a very short period of time. Perhaps if I began reading your journal earlier, then maybe I'd have more insight into what this entry is actually referring to. I mean, I understand what you're saying, but somehow it all seems so vague, like I don't know what lead up to this. I can tell you one thing for sure, though, that even if you've given up on yourself, there are other people who haven't given up on you. I don't know what it feels like to be broken up with because I've never been with anyone before. So I can't tell you basically anything about love. But oh, I am so fucking glad that people cannot read eacthother's minds because some of the shit I think about, I don't even believe, it just pops into my head. And while I'm positive this sounds much better in theory, you should probably learn to feel more comfortable with yourself, before you start trying to please someone else with you. You know? I really apologize if this is coming off condescending or anything, because I really don't mean for it to be, and I do sympathize with you. I wish that there was something I could say to make you change your mind.
No, I did mention the word breakup in the first paragraph, but I added in "two-year relationship" in case anyone else thought I was trying to be cryptic. I wasn't. This was all about my relationship, my self-esteem, my SAD.
I'm one of those people who just doesn't believe you have to love yourself before you love someone else. This sounds good in theoy but it's just not the way the world works sometimes. Sometime people have problems that prevent them from having a high self-esteem, but this, to me, does not mean they are incapable of loving.
I know you are not trying to be condesending and none of this offended me, I assure you. :) I do understand what you're saying. The bottom line is that I do need to love and respect myself more, but I don't feel I should have to do that without support, without anyone else in my life, without being in a relationship, etc. It will be a life-long process gaining my self-esteem back, so if I were to do it before loving anyone else, I'd be dead by the time I was finally able to love someone else while loving myself.
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I'm one of those people who just doesn't believe you have to love yourself before you love someone else. This sounds good in theoy but it's just not the way the world works sometimes. Sometime people have problems that prevent them from having a high self-esteem, but this, to me, does not mean they are incapable of loving.
I know you are not trying to be condesending and none of this offended me, I assure you. :) I do understand what you're saying. The bottom line is that I do need to love and respect myself more, but I don't feel I should have to do that without support, without anyone else in my life, without being in a relationship, etc. It will be a life-long process gaining my self-esteem back, so if I were to do it before loving anyone else, I'd be dead by the time I was finally able to love someone else while loving myself.
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