head or my heart
You have no idea how last night affected me. Outside I stayed calm and sweet, but on the inside I felt like my heart took a flying leap and stayed afloat in the air. For the first time, I let my heart take over my head. I did what I would normally hide, I didnt stay the shy and unmotivated girl that I usually show in situations like that. You made the first move, and I let my feelings show and I made the second. For years I've always wanted to. I had the intensions that it would never happen. For we are friends, but we hardly talk and hang out. But the times that we talk, it feels as if we never lost contact with one another and we easily bounce back to our old friendship like nothing. That's rare and not a lot of people can do that. Our friendship is never a question nor a concern. But last night we showed a side to our friendship that was always on lockdown... until now. We expressed our feelings so deep but we both have that stong connection that is so obvious, yet never acted on. I wanted for more; to tell you what I wanted honestly. But I was scared of what would come in the future. I am glad you went for the first kiss. For now I don't have those wonders of 'what ifs' anymore that I always had. I'm sure you feel the same, you wouldn't have done it if you didn't. I saw fireworks, and my stomach was full of butterflies. I honestly saw the chimestry right in front of us. I know you did too. As we cuddled on the couch I could feel your heartbeat. Your eyes were closed and relaxed as you held me. I later stood up to get my shoes on to leave. You got up beside me and put your arms around me. I really didnt want to leave, but I had to. I had to get up early that morning for work and you were up since 6am that day and tired. We hugged and you turned my head towards yours. You kissed me and then walked me to the door. I felt like I was in a movie. Everything was so perfect. We said we would see eachother again soon, I just hope it was really going to be soon. And now Im so torn, I let my feelings out about you and vice versa. I dont know whether to chase after you or to let you go. I really don't want to let you go, that's my heart speaking. My head is thinking ahead into the future. The future that may not include both of us. I want to follow my heart, but will you follow yours?