Have some dignity. This is a baby orchestra.

[carnifexmaxima]

Today when I was driving home from the grocery store with my dad we saw this guy on a bicycle wearing this shirt that proclaimed, "ONE LESS CAR" in huge letters. I thought at the time, "Man, yet another hippie fruitcake who caused most of Arlington County's roads to lose one lane." Just a little while later when we were back in my neighborhood and pretty close to my house we saw this suburban in the middle of the road and two people standing by it and my dad and I thought that it was just two dumbtrucks chatting cuz people in my neighborhood have a tendency to do that and hold up traffic at inopportune moments. In actuality someone had run over the neighbor's miniature jack russel, Bean. I saw him under the tire of the gas-guzzling machine and it just hurt my heart and my eyes filled with tears. He was always a crazy dog and his owners never trained him, and by not training him they really didn't take care of him. I love dogs and that just makes me sad and furious. To think that my dad wonders why I refuse to unhook Callie from her leash and just run home and leave her if it ever starts thundering when we are on a walk! If I couldn't drag her home I'd carry her, even though she doesn't act like she loves me I know she does and I love her. The driver prolly couldn't see him at all cuz he wasn't much bigger than like an albino ho momma pregnant squirrel, but the fact that this innocent dog's life was ended by a car got me to thinkin', I mean, pets aren't ever killed by bicycles. I would've said that pets are never run over by bicycles, but I'm guessing that they prolly have been since Ally Lundquist was run over by a bicycle when she was little. But then again it is Ally Lundquist, God love her, she's a cool kid. Make her tell that story sometime. So anyway, props for bikes for preserving our nation's pet population.

So that was really emo. I have a bajillion softball stories and a pretty traumatic-in-a-really-hilarious-way story, but right now I've gotta pack for this weekend's tournament. Cell it or something if you want and I promise that I'll write more stuff that is more uplifting or at least a little more light in the not-so-distant future! Thanks to Maggie for the amazing cartoon from whence I derived my subject heading; it still makes me crack up immensely!