First entry in a long time!
So I'm home today and it's just been pouring outside and I've been inspired by my dearest Maggie to do a new eljay entry, however since I am lacking in brilliance and creativity and overall goodness I've decided to use my blatant run-on sentences to describe things that I love; in short (not really) I'm making a list of things that I love just because I think that would feel almost as good as having or doing all of these things in one joyous day. Since I'm a self-taught idiot and I don't plan these entries out, things will just come to me when I happen to think of them so don't read too much into the order of things since they're just about as random as the Fibbonachi sequence isn't since that janks is based on bunny-rabbit sex which Maggie and I learned about in Princess Anastasia hypen Gan's Geometry hell hole freshman year. In case you didn't get it, props to Maggie for getting me back into the swing of eljayin'; you can prolly expect a more story-like entry from me shortly. But I digress like always since I love tangents, so here we go!
1. Fig Newtons. They don't really get a lot of respect since they are figgy and therefore fruity which could be construed as somewhat queer in a number of ways, but they are in fact fantastic. Since Fig Newtons are not only healthy but full of little fig seeds they are the perfect beach food. I remember when I used to go to the beach as a small child (I don't really go to beaches on family vacations any more since my dad has this completely inexplicable hatred for them and when I say them I mean beaches and not Fig Newtons since as I'm typing this there is a half-empty package of Fig Newtons in my refridgerator. Now, I don't precisely know why they are in the refrigerator, but I do have the ability to psycho-analyze myself and tell you why I said that the package was half empty as opposed to half full: on Saturday night Foxy and I pretty much didn't sleep and we decided that if something is consumable and tasty and the person who is going to describe said thing as either half full or half empty has consumed approximately half of it then that thing is half full, if on the other hand a fill-able object such as a cup has only been filled halfway and its contents has not been consumed then that object is half full. Thank you Lauren Foxwell for helping me clear up one of life's greatest cliched mysteries. I bet you had forgotten that I could use parentheses in such a tangentful and long manner that you have to go back and read the sentence before the beginning of the parentheses just so you can have some idea about what the eff word I was originally talking about.) and eat Fig Newtons I couldn't tell if what I was crunching on in the slightly cakey cookies was sand or seeds. In my humble opinion that is perfect and those Fig Newton folks, Nabisco I guess, should try and market their product to a more beach-minded set of people.
2. Letters. Letters are a dying form of communication that really is an art. And I suck at art, but somehow I'm pretty beast at letters. There is no better feeling than running home and finding a letter in the mail. A letter is personal and you can keep it forever. You know that a person spent time on a letter and unlike a phone conversation or an IM or an email (which will prolly prove to be the end of the letter since it is a semi-replacement for it since it is not instantaneous communication since people can read and respond to it whenever they feel like it even though it arrives just seconds after it was typed and sent) it is better when it's hand-written and when you're the recipient you know that the letter-writer focused his or her full attention on the thoughtful act of penning and epistle for you. I should prolly be a little better about keeping up with my promises for letters since I really would like to receive more of them. Thank Pope John Paul for the homeworklessness of summer.
3. Stephen King novels. Even though they are not exactly highly cerebral literature, Stephen King's books are more intelligent than a lot of teen novels and beach reads, so reading them for fun is a pretty worthwhile pastime. Although I read a lot of different books for fun since I am actually a huge fan of reading for non-gross pleasure, Stephen King novels are my complete favorite since they don't try to hard to be funny or artsy or cool and they are scary in a good way. I like being scared and I can read these at night since they are just books. But like movies, I really enjoy books since for a couple of hours I can divert my attention from retarded teenager crap and just have a bit of me time and focus on enjoying something purely for my own sake rather than anyone else's.
4. Things that smell good. I think that a lot of random people and things smell good. I really love the smell of pine trees, Trident gum, Maggie, Rain by Marc Jacobs, the smell of ozone before an actual rain storm, lavender, Michael's cologne, fresh oranges, drier sheets, suntan lotion on someone who has been in the sun a while so it's gotten absorbed and warm and smells even better than when it's in the bottle, my dad's shaving gel, new car smell, leather, new plastic, gasoline (unlike most of these I don't go out of my way to smell plastic or gasoline since those odors are dangerous so I only experience them when they just kind of waft through the air), Foxy and espesh her left hand, a cup of cocoa made with milk instead of water, lipgloss (which nine times out of ten will smell better than it tastes, but that didn't stop me from eating all of the lipsticks which I got in my Little Mermaid makeup kit when for Christmas when I was like four), new shoe smell (for obvious reasons), cheap man perfume-y things like Axe (I have a can of Axe Kilo since I just adore the smell), the dusty slash leathery smell of a softball field, hot spaghetti (which if it's hot enough can give you kind of a steam facial), old book smell, and shampoo (especially Herbal Essences even though I don't use it anymore. I actually have this weird ability to discern what sort of shampoo a person uses, if any and I hope to Pope John Paul that it is any since shampoo-less people invariably smell bad. Boycott shampoo and demand the real poo!)
5. Inside jokes. Inside jokes give me an excuse to think of something and laugh maniacly. I don't have any qualms about just bursting out laughing at something that I imagine and then having people look at me like I'm crazy which I know I am, but it's even better being reminded of a good and funny time and just laughing at some inside joke. But I have some inside jokes that are truly inside since they're just with myself, which totally messes up the not crazy part.
6. Shoes. You can never have too many pairs of shoes. I have way more shoes than clothes and I love it. There's just something about shoes that is irresistible to me. I love how you can completely change and outfit or just dress something up or down just by wearing different shoes, I love how shoes look on me and make me feel and how they can make me look taller. The best thing in the world probably for me is receiving shoes in the mail; I dunno how to top that.
7. Softball. I shan't bore you with softball stories, since I'm well aware that non-softball folks don't give a flying fuck about softball and I don't mind. All of you softball people out there know why I love it though and hopefully if you're reading this that means that I know you and if I know you from softball then you prolly know some of my stories and experiences that I hold near and dear to my heart. I prolly couldn't say enough about softball.
8. Made-up words. I love adding -ness, -ish, -y, -like , -ize, -ation, and other endings to words to make new adjectives or verbs or whatever parts of speech that suit my fancy at the time. I also enjoy making up words in other ways or using random or alternative-y ways of expressing things. I love borrowing words or phrases and seeing people borrow my words and phrases. Some of my personal favorites are: MoMacs, prolly, what's the haps, Jesus Christ Bananas, shit fuck potatos, etch-e-sketch, sketchpad, half three, mission fail, and eff word.
Well. This is a pretty decent list, but the longness sort of started to die out towards the end. I'm a bit hungry and it's five o'clock-ish so I should Czech the mail and prolly start on some of the letters that I promised myself that I would finally start on today. Expect another more story-like entry in the not-so-distant future. Leave a comment or something since comments are right up there with things that I call my life.
1. Fig Newtons. They don't really get a lot of respect since they are figgy and therefore fruity which could be construed as somewhat queer in a number of ways, but they are in fact fantastic. Since Fig Newtons are not only healthy but full of little fig seeds they are the perfect beach food. I remember when I used to go to the beach as a small child (I don't really go to beaches on family vacations any more since my dad has this completely inexplicable hatred for them and when I say them I mean beaches and not Fig Newtons since as I'm typing this there is a half-empty package of Fig Newtons in my refridgerator. Now, I don't precisely know why they are in the refrigerator, but I do have the ability to psycho-analyze myself and tell you why I said that the package was half empty as opposed to half full: on Saturday night Foxy and I pretty much didn't sleep and we decided that if something is consumable and tasty and the person who is going to describe said thing as either half full or half empty has consumed approximately half of it then that thing is half full, if on the other hand a fill-able object such as a cup has only been filled halfway and its contents has not been consumed then that object is half full. Thank you Lauren Foxwell for helping me clear up one of life's greatest cliched mysteries. I bet you had forgotten that I could use parentheses in such a tangentful and long manner that you have to go back and read the sentence before the beginning of the parentheses just so you can have some idea about what the eff word I was originally talking about.) and eat Fig Newtons I couldn't tell if what I was crunching on in the slightly cakey cookies was sand or seeds. In my humble opinion that is perfect and those Fig Newton folks, Nabisco I guess, should try and market their product to a more beach-minded set of people.
2. Letters. Letters are a dying form of communication that really is an art. And I suck at art, but somehow I'm pretty beast at letters. There is no better feeling than running home and finding a letter in the mail. A letter is personal and you can keep it forever. You know that a person spent time on a letter and unlike a phone conversation or an IM or an email (which will prolly prove to be the end of the letter since it is a semi-replacement for it since it is not instantaneous communication since people can read and respond to it whenever they feel like it even though it arrives just seconds after it was typed and sent) it is better when it's hand-written and when you're the recipient you know that the letter-writer focused his or her full attention on the thoughtful act of penning and epistle for you. I should prolly be a little better about keeping up with my promises for letters since I really would like to receive more of them. Thank Pope John Paul for the homeworklessness of summer.
3. Stephen King novels. Even though they are not exactly highly cerebral literature, Stephen King's books are more intelligent than a lot of teen novels and beach reads, so reading them for fun is a pretty worthwhile pastime. Although I read a lot of different books for fun since I am actually a huge fan of reading for non-gross pleasure, Stephen King novels are my complete favorite since they don't try to hard to be funny or artsy or cool and they are scary in a good way. I like being scared and I can read these at night since they are just books. But like movies, I really enjoy books since for a couple of hours I can divert my attention from retarded teenager crap and just have a bit of me time and focus on enjoying something purely for my own sake rather than anyone else's.
4. Things that smell good. I think that a lot of random people and things smell good. I really love the smell of pine trees, Trident gum, Maggie, Rain by Marc Jacobs, the smell of ozone before an actual rain storm, lavender, Michael's cologne, fresh oranges, drier sheets, suntan lotion on someone who has been in the sun a while so it's gotten absorbed and warm and smells even better than when it's in the bottle, my dad's shaving gel, new car smell, leather, new plastic, gasoline (unlike most of these I don't go out of my way to smell plastic or gasoline since those odors are dangerous so I only experience them when they just kind of waft through the air), Foxy and espesh her left hand, a cup of cocoa made with milk instead of water, lipgloss (which nine times out of ten will smell better than it tastes, but that didn't stop me from eating all of the lipsticks which I got in my Little Mermaid makeup kit when for Christmas when I was like four), new shoe smell (for obvious reasons), cheap man perfume-y things like Axe (I have a can of Axe Kilo since I just adore the smell), the dusty slash leathery smell of a softball field, hot spaghetti (which if it's hot enough can give you kind of a steam facial), old book smell, and shampoo (especially Herbal Essences even though I don't use it anymore. I actually have this weird ability to discern what sort of shampoo a person uses, if any and I hope to Pope John Paul that it is any since shampoo-less people invariably smell bad. Boycott shampoo and demand the real poo!)
5. Inside jokes. Inside jokes give me an excuse to think of something and laugh maniacly. I don't have any qualms about just bursting out laughing at something that I imagine and then having people look at me like I'm crazy which I know I am, but it's even better being reminded of a good and funny time and just laughing at some inside joke. But I have some inside jokes that are truly inside since they're just with myself, which totally messes up the not crazy part.
6. Shoes. You can never have too many pairs of shoes. I have way more shoes than clothes and I love it. There's just something about shoes that is irresistible to me. I love how you can completely change and outfit or just dress something up or down just by wearing different shoes, I love how shoes look on me and make me feel and how they can make me look taller. The best thing in the world probably for me is receiving shoes in the mail; I dunno how to top that.
7. Softball. I shan't bore you with softball stories, since I'm well aware that non-softball folks don't give a flying fuck about softball and I don't mind. All of you softball people out there know why I love it though and hopefully if you're reading this that means that I know you and if I know you from softball then you prolly know some of my stories and experiences that I hold near and dear to my heart. I prolly couldn't say enough about softball.
8. Made-up words. I love adding -ness, -ish, -y, -like , -ize, -ation, and other endings to words to make new adjectives or verbs or whatever parts of speech that suit my fancy at the time. I also enjoy making up words in other ways or using random or alternative-y ways of expressing things. I love borrowing words or phrases and seeing people borrow my words and phrases. Some of my personal favorites are: MoMacs, prolly, what's the haps, Jesus Christ Bananas, shit fuck potatos, etch-e-sketch, sketchpad, half three, mission fail, and eff word.
Well. This is a pretty decent list, but the longness sort of started to die out towards the end. I'm a bit hungry and it's five o'clock-ish so I should Czech the mail and prolly start on some of the letters that I promised myself that I would finally start on today. Expect another more story-like entry in the not-so-distant future. Leave a comment or something since comments are right up there with things that I call my life.