A firm, yet shaky grip on reality
Up, dressed, hair done, make up done, nails done, bag packed, study plan updated and assignment submitted. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta...
Well there's nothing like productivity to banish stress anyway. I'm not sure how good my Psychopathology assignment is but it's done and it's in on time. I can move on to the next topic, the next subject, the next assignment. I knew it was a dangerous topic to pick but hopefully the niggling in the back of my head will go away. I shouldn't have chosen it given I'm stressed already and not sleeping every night doesn't help that, it's just asking for trouble. But it's done. I'm surprised at how much I'm managing, I'm not surprised about the little things that have fallen by the wayside, and not too stressed about the slightly bigger things that have done the same.
(Remember why you're doing this? Yes, yes I do)
I haven't had an all consuming, burning desire to succeed like this in a long time. To prove people wrong, to make up for lost time, to show myself what I am capable of so I can stop doubting myself.
There's still so much I want to do, to fit in, but I keep reminding myself that I'm already doing more than anyone would normally do anyway, and it's okay to prioritize studying over friends (for now), getting my license, working a million hours to save/pay off debt (so long as I'm keeping it going down slowly) and anything else that pops up.
I'll be the one laughing soon.
In October, once I get through this semester.
I'm definitely vibrating at a high frequency right now, managing to keep the mania lingering and keeping myself at just the right level of crazy.
It's bliss.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.