Comments | carmine_pink: [one-shot] The Five Senses

carmine_pink

[one-shot] The Five Senses

Jul 11, 2010 16:34

Title: The Five Senses
Type: One-shot
Word count: 2,723
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Ryo/Shige, Ryo/OC
Summary: Ryo feels Shige’s presence in many ways. Thanks to sanjihan for beta-ing and giving excellent suggestions.

( He could feel Shige slowly coming undone )

fanfic

Comments 26

cloudy_monday July 11 2010, 13:43:48 UTC

Really lovely... I love the way you emphasized one sense in each part (totally made sense !)

carmine_pink July 11 2010, 14:37:10 UTC

I'm glad it did, cause I spent a lot of time working on the sense imagery. Thanks for the comment!

roughmetal2 July 11 2010, 14:06:15 UTC

so sweet. i'm glad that ryo isn't oblivious to shige's feelings and has decided to do something to save their relationship XD.

carmine_pink July 11 2010, 14:41:10 UTC

I like to think Ryo is a big softie inside ;D I'm happy you liked it, thanks!

misatsuki July 11 2010, 14:58:59 UTC

♥♥♥♥♥
I love this.
It actually made me tear up a bit.
Thanks for sharing.
♥♥♥♥♥

carmine_pink July 12 2010, 02:07:19 UTC

Aww, thank you :) Glad you liked it.

freedomtrain July 11 2010, 15:04:00 UTC

guh <3 I love your writing. It has this simplicity about it that gives it a beautiful flow and its still perfect for anyone who wants to read it. It's really amazing @_@

I'm so glad Ryo was able to do that to save their relationship in the end. It's hard to feel like you're second best, even if you're not.

thanks a lot for this <3

carmine_pink July 12 2010, 02:20:17 UTC

Ah, really? Sometimes I think my writing is too simple, the sentence structure and everything. I'm glad you still like it though :)

And yes, it feels bad to be second best, and I wanted to show how Ryo feels awful for putting Shige in that position.

Thank you for reading too!

tatoeba July 11 2010, 15:49:48 UTC

a;lskdgn;alsdg Omg. Just as I have been lamenting the lack of good RyoShige! I'm so glad I read this, it is absolutely beautiful. *____* I loved the sweetness between Ryo and Shige, even the melancholy and sadness that comes from Ryo's girlfriend, and I loved how you incorporated the five senses into the five scenes. That was so brilliant and gorgeous. Your writing is wonderful. ♥ I was in near tears at the end just because it was so cute and perfect and ;laksndglasdg ;___; Idek what else to say, just that this is amazing and I loved it a lot. :D Thank you so much for writing and sharing it! ♥ :D

carmine_pink July 12 2010, 03:50:12 UTC

Oh my, thank you so much. ♥ That means a lot to me, coming from you, whom a lot of people have mentioned as their favorite RyoShige writer. That feeling of melancholy is exactly what I was aiming for while writing this. And I got a lot of help from sanjihan too in fleshing out the sense imagery, much love to her ♥

I'm really happy you liked it. Thanks for reading and commenting! ;)