Warnings: Needs beta-ing for continuity, and probably grammar. Except that I am brain dead, so please forgive. Sort-of character death
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It was a little confusion at first, but then A) I just woke up and hadn't been caffinated, and B)when you say linear, I failed to realize that road runs two ways (at first).
I think the confusion is partly my fault; I was trying to be sneaky. Also, the constant use of 'he' creates a certain amount of ambiguity. My intention was to be vague enough so that it would only dawn on you halfway through/at the end, so that you would read it again and see it differently, hence my titling it 'Second Coming' - both in reference to Ed 'returning' as it is, and (hopefully) your having you look through it again.
I enjoyed writing this and I'm glad you thought it was good.
Wow, it took me a second to catch on, but I read the first paragraph twice and went "Interesting" and finally went "OH!" somewhere along the line. I enjoyed it terribly. I think you pulled this off rather well.
The Hamlet quote is a huge hint, I think. Ok, not in the context sense, but in the 'out of joint' bit.
If you liked this you should read Martin Amis' "Time's Arrow, or The Nature of the Offence" - it's a whole book written like that, and much better than I could ever hope to write it. But while his focuses on creation and destruction, I used this device more to demonstrate the nature of regret; how you look back but you can't change anything (at least I hope that came through!). I think it's a beautiful way of exploring opposites and I'm glad I could share that with you.
Oh dear, it's alright though, it's a tad complicated.
Basically, everything's happening but in reverse. Like how when you die, you see all the things in your life flash past you. And for Roy, his saddest moment is when Ed leaves, but since he's seeing it backwards, it's as if Ed is arriving. But he's been though this before, so he knows, even if he doesn't understand why (Roy begins tabula rasa), that well, hello is goodbye.
For example, if I wanted to describe writing a letter in real life, I would begin with 'Dear Ed' and end off with 'I miss you terribly'. But here, I would describe it as:
He begins with the tortured 'I miss you terribly' and unwrites with increasing legibility until he reaches the affectionate (and useless) 'Dear Ed' at the top. And when the paper is finally blank he takes it and places it back his drawer, where it joins various brick bracks from the Elrics.
Or something! Lol. Hope you understand better now!
Holy Crap... and I mean that in a good way. I see that there are very few comments here, it must be because your fic is a bit complex. I loved it, it was fantastically written. Thank you!!!
Thank you! I live for comments! Ok not really, this one in particular was an idea was I liked very much and wanted to play around with. So, self-satisfaction is enough *pretending to be noble but failing miserably* I am also pretty bad at shameless self-promotion so that might also be why. I don't believe there aren't any more people around who understand this ie the world has more smart/persistent people, surely.
Also, I hope being 'complex' doesn't equate to being pretentious, which I thought this fic might have come across as.
Haha, definitely not pretentious. Honestly, I love the complexity of it, it's not often enough fics like this are put out there. Then again, that could be because it's not often that fics like this are written.
Mmm, this is fantastic. It really made my heart hurt for Roy, for all the things he's had to go through, and how much everything hurts him. The last line is a killer. Ngah. I would review better, but it is three in the morning, and you will just have to content yourself with my incoherent "Nnnngh!" and my *memorying.
Razors manufacture day-old stubble which sinks into his skin by the end of the day. He has to keep putting it back on. I also really like that bit, and I'm not entirely sure why. It's just such a vivid image. <3 <3
I'm not entirely sure why either! Lol. It's one of those lines I put in as hints as to the 'order' of the fic, but I do try to write nicely (what a useless sentence, everybody tries to write nicely anyway!) and I'm always happy when somebody picks out parts they like. And I'm a nazi when it comes to last lines.
I find the general response that this fic makes your heart ache a little amusing I think, because if you think about it- reverse the story so that it read the right way round, and I don't think it'd have made as great an impact. It's actually really rather ordinary. Which is my reflection on the nature of regret, and I'm surprised/pleased that it manage to successful provoke the emotion I intended.
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It was strange in a good way though.
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I enjoyed writing this and I'm glad you thought it was good.
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If you liked this you should read Martin Amis' "Time's Arrow, or The Nature of the Offence" - it's a whole book written like that, and much better than I could ever hope to write it. But while his focuses on creation and destruction, I used this device more to demonstrate the nature of regret; how you look back but you can't change anything (at least I hope that came through!). I think it's a beautiful way of exploring opposites and I'm glad I could share that with you.
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Basically, everything's happening but in reverse. Like how when you die, you see all the things in your life flash past you. And for Roy, his saddest moment is when Ed leaves, but since he's seeing it backwards, it's as if Ed is arriving. But he's been though this before, so he knows, even if he doesn't understand why (Roy begins tabula rasa), that well, hello is goodbye.
For example, if I wanted to describe writing a letter in real life, I would begin with 'Dear Ed' and end off with 'I miss you terribly'. But here, I would describe it as:
He begins with the tortured 'I miss you terribly' and unwrites with increasing legibility until he reaches the affectionate (and useless) 'Dear Ed' at the top. And when the paper is finally blank he takes it and places it back his drawer, where it joins various brick bracks from the Elrics.
Or something! Lol. Hope you understand better now!
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Also, I hope being 'complex' doesn't equate to being pretentious, which I thought this fic might have come across as.
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Razors manufacture day-old stubble which sinks into his skin by the end of the day. He has to keep putting it back on.
I also really like that bit, and I'm not entirely sure why. It's just such a vivid image. <3 <3
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I find the general response that this fic makes your heart ache a little amusing I think, because if you think about it- reverse the story so that it read the right way round, and I don't think it'd have made as great an impact. It's actually really rather ordinary. Which is my reflection on the nature of regret, and I'm surprised/pleased that it manage to successful provoke the emotion I intended.
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*successfully provke
URGHHHH ):
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