Literature Entry Week 10
For this week's entry I am commenting on an entry by a fellow livejournaler.
I found this poem at the followong URL: http://mattyd2.livejournal.com/
Here is the poem:
Dancing Dolphins
Three miles out to sea
Been wettin the lines
Trying to catch what is free
On the shore the distant pines
Sing a story like clemintine's
Sparkling bright the great blue wonder
A glorious day, the fish on the bite
This gives me a beautiful time to ponder
There is peace to be had, on the ocean's light
Hoping the big feller will put up a fight
Not much happening as we bob up and down
As I peer intensely into shimmering haze
They came towards us with never a frown
Dancing through the wandering wave's
A joyous sight in an awestruck gaze
Together they frolicked around the boat
An intricate tango, innocence and tease
Flying, prancing, dancing too happy to float
He looked me in the eye, I felt a release
With Dancing Dolphins I had found inner peace!
And here is my comment:
I was reading through some other people’s livejournals and came across this poem you wrote.
I think I like the simplicity of your poem. You manage to make something so simple sound so beautiful, and I particularly like the rhyming pattern and the beat of the poem; it gives it a nice flow and puts the reader in the situation… I was able to clearly see or actually experience being on that boat and seeing those dolphins. I also like the last line of the poem… it’s amazing that nature can have such an affect on people, and I can also feel what you are feeling here, I can just imagine being at peace at the sight of these beautiful creatures while out in the middle of a calm ocean. Your choice of language captures the moment perfectly. I’m the type of person who likes simple and beautiful poems, being a bit of a romantic, so that’s another reason why this poem stood out to me.
Another reason why this poem stood out to me is because it reminds me a little of what our class has been studying. We have been looking at William Blake’s works, and one idea that comes across in his works is being able to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, the importance of making something simple seem beautiful. To quote Blake: “To see a World in a Grain of Sand/ And a Heaven in a Wild Flower/ Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand/ And Eternity in an hour” (Auguries of Innocence). And this is what you have done here… you have taken something simple and ordinary and made it meaningful and beautiful, and I think that’s great.
I also just noticed another poem you wrote: “Beast”, which also stood out a little for me because I wrote something that sounds similar, only they probably relate to different issues. I get the impression (and feel free to correct me) that, based on other entries and poems of yours, it’s in relation to drugs. Mine is actually in relation to a person, but just the imagery you used sounded very familiar and quite similar to what I used in mine, titled “My Nightmare”, so it’s almost as if we are both trying to capture the same pain and fear. Anyway, I think this is a good poem full of emotion and great imagery.
I found this poem at the followong URL: http://mattyd2.livejournal.com/
Here is the poem:
Dancing Dolphins
Three miles out to sea
Been wettin the lines
Trying to catch what is free
On the shore the distant pines
Sing a story like clemintine's
Sparkling bright the great blue wonder
A glorious day, the fish on the bite
This gives me a beautiful time to ponder
There is peace to be had, on the ocean's light
Hoping the big feller will put up a fight
Not much happening as we bob up and down
As I peer intensely into shimmering haze
They came towards us with never a frown
Dancing through the wandering wave's
A joyous sight in an awestruck gaze
Together they frolicked around the boat
An intricate tango, innocence and tease
Flying, prancing, dancing too happy to float
He looked me in the eye, I felt a release
With Dancing Dolphins I had found inner peace!
And here is my comment:
I was reading through some other people’s livejournals and came across this poem you wrote.
I think I like the simplicity of your poem. You manage to make something so simple sound so beautiful, and I particularly like the rhyming pattern and the beat of the poem; it gives it a nice flow and puts the reader in the situation… I was able to clearly see or actually experience being on that boat and seeing those dolphins. I also like the last line of the poem… it’s amazing that nature can have such an affect on people, and I can also feel what you are feeling here, I can just imagine being at peace at the sight of these beautiful creatures while out in the middle of a calm ocean. Your choice of language captures the moment perfectly. I’m the type of person who likes simple and beautiful poems, being a bit of a romantic, so that’s another reason why this poem stood out to me.
Another reason why this poem stood out to me is because it reminds me a little of what our class has been studying. We have been looking at William Blake’s works, and one idea that comes across in his works is being able to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, the importance of making something simple seem beautiful. To quote Blake: “To see a World in a Grain of Sand/ And a Heaven in a Wild Flower/ Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand/ And Eternity in an hour” (Auguries of Innocence). And this is what you have done here… you have taken something simple and ordinary and made it meaningful and beautiful, and I think that’s great.
I also just noticed another poem you wrote: “Beast”, which also stood out a little for me because I wrote something that sounds similar, only they probably relate to different issues. I get the impression (and feel free to correct me) that, based on other entries and poems of yours, it’s in relation to drugs. Mine is actually in relation to a person, but just the imagery you used sounded very familiar and quite similar to what I used in mine, titled “My Nightmare”, so it’s almost as if we are both trying to capture the same pain and fear. Anyway, I think this is a good poem full of emotion and great imagery.