(no subject)
so an abridged copy paste of what i wrote last night when i didn't have internet..cuz yeah...it's that relevant and i know you care...
Right now I’m somewhere between slitting my wrists and uncontrollable laughter…needless to say (?) this weekend was way better than last…I accomplished roughly 1 1/2 out of 2 goals, which is roughly 1 1/2 more than 0. Last night was an adventure with the gringas, which didn’t really involve anything too exciting and kind of reminded me why I haven’t hung out in groups like that too much, but at the same time I was just super honest and felt like I actually connected with some people that I had kind of written off...and every once in a while I need to be reminded that people are just people and yeah…I should just be more open more often. Also, I met more Chilenos who were all super nice even if super conservative (although I’m starting to discover that my host family is a lot more conservative than I thought too…oh well, at least they’re not judgmental about it) and that’s always a bonus. today i just kinda bummed around the house and just as i was getting worried that i had held out too long in the goal accomplishing department, my host sister called and invited me out. So I got ready super rapido and stopped by her boyfriend’s house (where they were having a family gathering of sorts) where we had the typical conversation about how little I understood when I got here and how I like piscolas and terremotos (the typical drinks that get you fucked up here) before heading to the “previa”/pre-party, which ended up being at the fire station…random, but cool/the fire fighters are pretty hot by Chilean standards I guess…whatever standards those are. Then we headed to this discotheque that apparently I had been to before, but don’t remember? Oh, and kind of important side detail, I should mention that my “pinche” was there (uh…I’m not sure how to translate that…crush? But not really…like before you’re dating , but maybe there’s something brewing?) Anyway…I basically talked to every guy besides him…and it’s not like I didn’t try…well I mean I didn’t actually directly talk to him, but I didn’t directly talk to anyone and well, being the gringa, people are obligated to start the conversation with me, yeah? And most people do give me like at least 30 seconds…and of course i'll take advantage of that, but i also made sure to put myself in his vicinity if he wanted to claim his…and yeah…the point I’m making is he didn’t…so filo…chao…as I would say if I were actually Chilean…I took the opportunities as they came to me and didn’t really worry about it. and bonus, chileans are notoriously bad dancers and even tho i'm sure i still suck i can use the excuse well that's how it's done in the us and (when i'm with a "nice guy" anyway) just be ridiculous and pretend like i actually know the music and laugh and yeah...good times. so maybe i have a new pinche (or two?)...time will tell i guess. but anyway, On the way back, the car was jammed so everyone else negotiated it so that I ended up on the lap of my “pinche,” but instead of milking it, he asked to be dropped off first and while yeah, that was probably the most convenient thing to do, it was also the icing on the cake of ridiculousness. I mean I am definitely not suggesting/maintaining false hope that he might still be into me/there’s any chance for anything besides general awkwardness anymore, but the whole situation…I don’t know…I guess you’d have to see the interaction/lack thereof to realize how…I don’t even know…how there are no words to describe it I guess ha. Meanwhile this other guy (that i have a whole other awkward "history" with, but that's for another day/not lj ha) like passed out on me and it was just so so hard for me to contain my laughter. Anyway…I finally made it home and talked to my other host sister (Francisca) for a short while, but it was a really good conversation and she told me things she hasn’t even told her real sister and I just felt so privileged/trusted and yeah…it was a good “bonding” experience I guess you could say. Anyway..it's past 6:30 now, so bedtime? i think so.
Right now I’m somewhere between slitting my wrists and uncontrollable laughter…needless to say (?) this weekend was way better than last…I accomplished roughly 1 1/2 out of 2 goals, which is roughly 1 1/2 more than 0. Last night was an adventure with the gringas, which didn’t really involve anything too exciting and kind of reminded me why I haven’t hung out in groups like that too much, but at the same time I was just super honest and felt like I actually connected with some people that I had kind of written off...and every once in a while I need to be reminded that people are just people and yeah…I should just be more open more often. Also, I met more Chilenos who were all super nice even if super conservative (although I’m starting to discover that my host family is a lot more conservative than I thought too…oh well, at least they’re not judgmental about it) and that’s always a bonus. today i just kinda bummed around the house and just as i was getting worried that i had held out too long in the goal accomplishing department, my host sister called and invited me out. So I got ready super rapido and stopped by her boyfriend’s house (where they were having a family gathering of sorts) where we had the typical conversation about how little I understood when I got here and how I like piscolas and terremotos (the typical drinks that get you fucked up here) before heading to the “previa”/pre-party, which ended up being at the fire station…random, but cool/the fire fighters are pretty hot by Chilean standards I guess…whatever standards those are. Then we headed to this discotheque that apparently I had been to before, but don’t remember? Oh, and kind of important side detail, I should mention that my “pinche” was there (uh…I’m not sure how to translate that…crush? But not really…like before you’re dating , but maybe there’s something brewing?) Anyway…I basically talked to every guy besides him…and it’s not like I didn’t try…well I mean I didn’t actually directly talk to him, but I didn’t directly talk to anyone and well, being the gringa, people are obligated to start the conversation with me, yeah? And most people do give me like at least 30 seconds…and of course i'll take advantage of that, but i also made sure to put myself in his vicinity if he wanted to claim his…and yeah…the point I’m making is he didn’t…so filo…chao…as I would say if I were actually Chilean…I took the opportunities as they came to me and didn’t really worry about it. and bonus, chileans are notoriously bad dancers and even tho i'm sure i still suck i can use the excuse well that's how it's done in the us and (when i'm with a "nice guy" anyway) just be ridiculous and pretend like i actually know the music and laugh and yeah...good times. so maybe i have a new pinche (or two?)...time will tell i guess. but anyway, On the way back, the car was jammed so everyone else negotiated it so that I ended up on the lap of my “pinche,” but instead of milking it, he asked to be dropped off first and while yeah, that was probably the most convenient thing to do, it was also the icing on the cake of ridiculousness. I mean I am definitely not suggesting/maintaining false hope that he might still be into me/there’s any chance for anything besides general awkwardness anymore, but the whole situation…I don’t know…I guess you’d have to see the interaction/lack thereof to realize how…I don’t even know…how there are no words to describe it I guess ha. Meanwhile this other guy (that i have a whole other awkward "history" with, but that's for another day/not lj ha) like passed out on me and it was just so so hard for me to contain my laughter. Anyway…I finally made it home and talked to my other host sister (Francisca) for a short while, but it was a really good conversation and she told me things she hasn’t even told her real sister and I just felt so privileged/trusted and yeah…it was a good “bonding” experience I guess you could say. Anyway..it's past 6:30 now, so bedtime? i think so.