Bloted mind and unsafe thoughts...
One thing I forgot to say is I got a tattoo... its on my left shoulder. My mum and dad dont know...
I figure they dont need to until I turn about 25... that seems a good age... although they can do nothing... 25 seems good for some reason.
I cannnnnnnnot sleep. It seems every time I have a little bit of space and time on my own these days I think about what might happen at training... what might happen if he goes back into leadership after what happened........
Why cant I get over it? I feel like I want to know now whether they would actually do that so I can pack my bags and move to Brisbane. I want to know if they arent going to do it so I can be excited abotu training and love my next year in CP. I dont want to be a commitment breaker... It would hurt me becoz I never thought it would come to close to this. There is nothing that would make me break my commitment but this one thing... honestly. No guy, no proposal, no disease... I will stay for the next year, but if they insist on looking past this and putting him back in leadership I will not stand for that. I cannot stand for that. I dont even believe God would want me to stand for that.
CP is so hard. I swear I didnt think it would be this hard. I cant really explain to my friends what we do in CP becoz to them it sounds like we do nothing. I think the most draining thing is trying to get everyone to communicate and not kill each other over the 4 and a half months or in my case, 9 months of touring. I am sick of people thinking we do nothing... its crap. We do do alot.... Screw them.
I need to get so much out of my system but I am not sure how... Who am I suppose to get it out of my system to? I think I need a deserted island so I can scream at God.. i dont think its wise to tell anyone else exactly how I feel at the moment.... although I think I told Sarah pretty much everything becoz she is the only one who could truly understand.
Dang I am glad I am staying with Skye over training. Thats the coolest thing I can think of about going back, and also seeing The Petersens and some other rad people. Thats cool! I do have some things to look forward to... just some things to not look forward to also.
Anyway telling this dumb computer doesnt help... I could try to sleep again.......
Peace and freakin daisies...
I figure they dont need to until I turn about 25... that seems a good age... although they can do nothing... 25 seems good for some reason.
I cannnnnnnnot sleep. It seems every time I have a little bit of space and time on my own these days I think about what might happen at training... what might happen if he goes back into leadership after what happened........
Why cant I get over it? I feel like I want to know now whether they would actually do that so I can pack my bags and move to Brisbane. I want to know if they arent going to do it so I can be excited abotu training and love my next year in CP. I dont want to be a commitment breaker... It would hurt me becoz I never thought it would come to close to this. There is nothing that would make me break my commitment but this one thing... honestly. No guy, no proposal, no disease... I will stay for the next year, but if they insist on looking past this and putting him back in leadership I will not stand for that. I cannot stand for that. I dont even believe God would want me to stand for that.
CP is so hard. I swear I didnt think it would be this hard. I cant really explain to my friends what we do in CP becoz to them it sounds like we do nothing. I think the most draining thing is trying to get everyone to communicate and not kill each other over the 4 and a half months or in my case, 9 months of touring. I am sick of people thinking we do nothing... its crap. We do do alot.... Screw them.
I need to get so much out of my system but I am not sure how... Who am I suppose to get it out of my system to? I think I need a deserted island so I can scream at God.. i dont think its wise to tell anyone else exactly how I feel at the moment.... although I think I told Sarah pretty much everything becoz she is the only one who could truly understand.
Dang I am glad I am staying with Skye over training. Thats the coolest thing I can think of about going back, and also seeing The Petersens and some other rad people. Thats cool! I do have some things to look forward to... just some things to not look forward to also.
Anyway telling this dumb computer doesnt help... I could try to sleep again.......
Peace and freakin daisies...