I'm still around
It's been a couple months since I last wrote in here, which would bother me if I hadn't been writing religiously in my other, more private diary. I guess I like having something for myself, something I don't have to censor myself in. Not that I write about scandalous, secretive things in my private diary or anything... frankly, my life is just not exciting enough to warrant those kinds of entries!
But while my life hasn't been exciting, it has been going pretty well. I've spent lots of time with Rachel & Bill lately (which always means lots of laughs and great conversations), I have a few things going on in the real estate world, and of course my husband and baby are wonderful sources of everyday joy.
However, I've been on the grumpy side the last couple of weeks because we've been really strapped for cash and the weather has been hell. It's tough going out showing houses for 3 hours when the heater in your car is barely working. By the end of my appointments my fingers & toes will be so cold they're about ready to snap off. And it didn't help my mood when my car door randomly decided not to latch on the very coldest days of the winter, so I was forced to physically hold my door shut while going down the road. Matt's dad messed around a bit with it and so far it has proved to function as a door again.
I've been toying around with the idea of getting a second job. We have a ton of bills, including some scary gas bills, and I figure I should just work on saving up some money so we can get ahead. I'm done with living paycheck to paycheck and would like to have a few months worth of bills in our savings. I figure I might as well get a job now while we have Matt's parents acting as a free childcare service, and then maybe next year I will be able to get pregnant again (after saving up some dough) and be a stay-at-home mommy again. I will most likely keep my real estate license even when I have my second baby though. I could at the very least be an agent for the buying and selling needs of friends & family.
But for now I am still trying my best to fulfill the real estate needs of strangers as well, although it can be stressful as heck trying to keep in contact with people you barely know. For example, a couple weeks ago one older couple told me they wanted to put in offer in on this house, and I have tried & tried to contact them and have yet to hear back from them. That is definitely the most frustrating part of this job -- the way people don't call me back or email me back to let me know what's going on. It's like they assume I'm just so busy that I don't care about them. But that is so untrue! If they only knew that I was sitting there wondering what happened to them, wondering if I did something wrong, feeling rejected and confused. This job magnifies alot of my pre-existing insecurities, and has even managed to create new ones!
Although I must say, the fact that I am even out there interacting with these strangers is amazing to me because in the past I would have been too shy to be as friendly & outgoing with these people as I have been. I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone so many times, and that is truly the key to personal growth. Sometimes when I'm finally home from an appointment, I just grab my blanket and curl up on the couch for the rest of the evening and say to myself "oh my god, I never want to do that again!" But other times... I drive home feeling like a professional, sophisticated career woman who is getting things accomplished, making a name for herself. It is such a high!
Carter is well on his way to being three years old. Just the other day I was looking at pictures from when he was born, and it seemed like such a short time ago that I was in that hospital bed listening to my mom's John Mayer cd as we counted through my contractions. I remember the entire sequence of events so clearly, although it is difficult for me to remember the pain. I know I had an excrutiatingly painful birthing experience, but when I think back, what really hits me is how happy I was to meet Carter. And that whole year afterwards when I stayed home with him all the time... pushing him in his stroller around the neighborhood, rocking him & holding his warm little body during his naps, breastfeeding him. It doesn't seem like I could have ever had an unhappy day during all of that because it was so beautiful.
Anyways, now Carter has shed all of his baby ways, and he is truly a little boy now. He is very independant, talkative, and figures things out before I even have the chance to explain them. He is sweet, affectionate, and loving too, always giving hugs & kisses and saying "I love you, mommy"... I hope he always says that to me, even when he is an adult (although I would be fine if he substituted the "mommy" for "mom", of course).
So if it takes me another couple of months to write in here, just know that I am probably doing fine... because I have my husband and my baby and a whole lotta love, and that's all I really need :o)
But while my life hasn't been exciting, it has been going pretty well. I've spent lots of time with Rachel & Bill lately (which always means lots of laughs and great conversations), I have a few things going on in the real estate world, and of course my husband and baby are wonderful sources of everyday joy.
However, I've been on the grumpy side the last couple of weeks because we've been really strapped for cash and the weather has been hell. It's tough going out showing houses for 3 hours when the heater in your car is barely working. By the end of my appointments my fingers & toes will be so cold they're about ready to snap off. And it didn't help my mood when my car door randomly decided not to latch on the very coldest days of the winter, so I was forced to physically hold my door shut while going down the road. Matt's dad messed around a bit with it and so far it has proved to function as a door again.
I've been toying around with the idea of getting a second job. We have a ton of bills, including some scary gas bills, and I figure I should just work on saving up some money so we can get ahead. I'm done with living paycheck to paycheck and would like to have a few months worth of bills in our savings. I figure I might as well get a job now while we have Matt's parents acting as a free childcare service, and then maybe next year I will be able to get pregnant again (after saving up some dough) and be a stay-at-home mommy again. I will most likely keep my real estate license even when I have my second baby though. I could at the very least be an agent for the buying and selling needs of friends & family.
But for now I am still trying my best to fulfill the real estate needs of strangers as well, although it can be stressful as heck trying to keep in contact with people you barely know. For example, a couple weeks ago one older couple told me they wanted to put in offer in on this house, and I have tried & tried to contact them and have yet to hear back from them. That is definitely the most frustrating part of this job -- the way people don't call me back or email me back to let me know what's going on. It's like they assume I'm just so busy that I don't care about them. But that is so untrue! If they only knew that I was sitting there wondering what happened to them, wondering if I did something wrong, feeling rejected and confused. This job magnifies alot of my pre-existing insecurities, and has even managed to create new ones!
Although I must say, the fact that I am even out there interacting with these strangers is amazing to me because in the past I would have been too shy to be as friendly & outgoing with these people as I have been. I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone so many times, and that is truly the key to personal growth. Sometimes when I'm finally home from an appointment, I just grab my blanket and curl up on the couch for the rest of the evening and say to myself "oh my god, I never want to do that again!" But other times... I drive home feeling like a professional, sophisticated career woman who is getting things accomplished, making a name for herself. It is such a high!
Carter is well on his way to being three years old. Just the other day I was looking at pictures from when he was born, and it seemed like such a short time ago that I was in that hospital bed listening to my mom's John Mayer cd as we counted through my contractions. I remember the entire sequence of events so clearly, although it is difficult for me to remember the pain. I know I had an excrutiatingly painful birthing experience, but when I think back, what really hits me is how happy I was to meet Carter. And that whole year afterwards when I stayed home with him all the time... pushing him in his stroller around the neighborhood, rocking him & holding his warm little body during his naps, breastfeeding him. It doesn't seem like I could have ever had an unhappy day during all of that because it was so beautiful.
Anyways, now Carter has shed all of his baby ways, and he is truly a little boy now. He is very independant, talkative, and figures things out before I even have the chance to explain them. He is sweet, affectionate, and loving too, always giving hugs & kisses and saying "I love you, mommy"... I hope he always says that to me, even when he is an adult (although I would be fine if he substituted the "mommy" for "mom", of course).
So if it takes me another couple of months to write in here, just know that I am probably doing fine... because I have my husband and my baby and a whole lotta love, and that's all I really need :o)