Legend of the Seeker : Rock and a Hard Place: 2/46- In which we get rid of Richard.
Title: Rock and a hard place
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Paining (s): Kahlan/Cara, Kahlan/Richard
Author: Carly Carter
Disclaimer :Don't own anything.
Summary: Well it's a story about Kahlan, caught between two equally horrifying destinies, and caught even more tightly between two people who love her, but knowing she can save only one.
A/N I have a strong dislike of Richard as we all know, but for the purposes of this story I need to emphasise that I do believe he Loves Kahlan fiercely.
A/N 2 Yes Kahaln/Cara have a happy ending.
AN 3 I NEED a Cara Kahlan icon if anyone is feeling generous to little carly carter.
Kahlan swallows hard. Everything in her is screaming "Jump". But she doesn't. She can't. She feels as if there is an invisible tether holding her to Richard. She feels that if she were to jump, she would pull him along with her. And she simply can not live, or die, with that on her conscience.
In that moment, Kahlan feels that it is her under his spell, and not him under any kind of confession.
"Don't look at me, Seeker, like you're so surprised. You always knew." She shoots at him.
"Knew what?" Richard asks, genuinely confused.
"The darkness that was inside of me. You saw it when the amulet split in two. You saw it when my nephew was born and I told you what must be done. you saw it when I had my hand at Cara's throat ready to execute her. So don't look at me as if you expect to see someone innocent and sweet and kind." Kahan tells him.
"What have they done to you?" Richard finally asks the question that had been on his mind the past three days. Kahlan had not quite been herself since he and Cara had rescued her. Richard doesn't know who "they" were or why they took Kahlan. And Kahlan herself claimed no knowledge. But something had markedly changed in her countenance since that experience.
"Why is it so important to believe that someone has done something to me?" Kahlan challenges, while at the same time avoiding the question. "Nothing has been "done" to me. I have told you over and over. Do you not understand who I am, Seeker? I am a Confessor, the Mother Confessor. I make people do things that I want, people don't do things to me."
Her tone reminds Richard again of the time the amulet split in two. She is logical and concise, but harsh and cold, as if a part of her were missing.
"You know." Richard muses, because he is quite at a loss for what to say or do. "You remind me very much of Cara. Your stubborn pride is going to get you killed. So just stop this, and tell us what is going on."
"If you cared about me, you would never ask me that. I told you, don't ask me. Ever. Why can't you respect what I ask of you, Seeker?" Kahlan ignores his insult, trying to remain calm and not let him anger her.
'Because you're standing so close to the edge,' Richard wants to scream at her 'Because something is very very wrong and I don't understand why you wont tell me what it is.' But he sighs in frustration, and for a moment says nothing.
It's Cara who speaks up. "I don't particulary care." She announces. "And I made no such promise. And I think the least you owe Richard is an explanation."
Kahlan only stares at her.
"Fine." Cara tells the other woman. "You had your chance. I'm not interested anymore. Do what you want. Jump if you want to jump. We aren't stopping you, are we?"
"Cara!" Richard shrieks at her, but Cara only smiles and raises her eyebrows at Kahlan.
"Don't take it out on me, Richard. I'm not being heartless or cruel. Just logical. I'm not encouraging her to do anything. She is a big girl. She is standing on a cliff top, very close to the edge, waving her sword at us, and if I'm not mistaken she has an Alkalis stone in her mouth. She has made her intentions clear, and has obviously thought it all out. I don't think there is anything you or I can do to stop her. She has made up her mind. And as you rightly said earlier, she is rather stubborn. So I don't see why we are all still standing here talking about it." Cara turns back to Kahlan "Go on, Kahlah, Do it."
Kahlan blinks, and stares for a moment into Cara's eyes, trying to make sense of her words, her actions. She had not been expecting Cara to tell her to jump. Sure, it was one thing to tell herself that Richard and Cara are better off without her around, but to hear it so plainly from Cara's mouth, well that hurt. More than a little. And it takes Kahlan a minute to process.
"Not in front of him." Kahlan tells Cara.
"Well." Cara laughs slightly. "He isn't going to leave you, and this can't be news to you. So make your choice. Do it already, or step away from the edge. End this, now, one way or the other. Jump, or bite down on that stone, or take your chances and attack us with the sword. Do something."
Kahlan makes no answer, no move. Cara inches surreptiotiously closer. "I think you don't really want to do any of those things, do you Kahlan? I think you want something else."
"There is nothing else." Kahlan says through gritted teeth as she tries, so hard, not to let her eyes water in front of Richard and Cara.
"You seem very certain of that." Cara observes. "But perhaps if you explained the problem, the three of us could come up with something, after all we have found our way out of many situations in the past."
Kahlan looks deeper into Cara's eyes, and Richard notices that her arm relaxes, and she lowers her sword. It irritates Richard, more than a little, that Cara, who just told Kahlan to go ahead and jump off a cliff, is actually getting somewhere in breaking through to Kahlan, while he is getting nowhere. Richard doesn't dare speak, afraid he will undo all the progress Cara has done in mere minutes.
"There must be something you haven't thought of." Cara insists.
"Zedd." Kahlan whipsers, as if a thought just occurred to her.
"Zedd will be back in three days, he went to visit his brother." Richard speaks up hesitantly.
"You asked what I needed." Kahlan snaps "And I need Zedd."
"What can Zedd do that I can't?" Cara asks, as if she were insulted.
"A great many things." Kahlan answers vaguely . But it is clear she has one specific thing on her mind.
"Fine." Richard answers quickly. "Cara, you travel to get Zedd, and Kahlan please, come over here, away from the edge."
Kahlan shakes her head. "Not Cara, you." She tells Richard.
Richards face falls, he can't deny he is hurt by the fact Kahlan is ordering him away. But he does see the way Cara is talking to Kahlan, the way Kahlan is starting to come around and open up. He doesn't understand it by any stretch of the imagination, but he sees it. Kahlan and Cara don't really get along all that well, they disagree all the time. And Cara isn't exactly being sweet and compassionate. But whatever Cara is doing, it is working. So Richard finally gives in. Kahlan's tone may have been cold and demanding, but her eyes were pleading. And he can not refuse her anything.
"Ok, I will go."Richard agrees. "But first, Kahlan, please, step away from the edge." He begs.
Kahlan looks from him to Cara and back to him again.
"First you step back, behind that tree." Kahlan points. "And don't dare move an inch." She adds in warning.
Richard nods, and backs away slowly towards the direction Kahlan had pointed. He raises his hands in the air, as if in surrender.
Kahlan feels dizzy with the power of control over him. The power of making him back away when he swore not to. Dizzy and light headed and more than a little sick.
Cara doesn't move, and if this bothers Kahlan, she makes no sign of it. Cara reaches her hand slowly towards the other woman. Cara is fully gloved in her red leather. And somehow this makes it ok in Kahlan's mind to take her hand. It doesn't feel like she is touching human skin. It is surreal. Cara pulls her gently away from the edge and Kahlan stumbles as Cara pushes her along the ground, until she is a safe distance from the cliff top, with Cara standing between her and the edge. But Cara still has hold of her hand, and Kahlan makes no move to push her away.
"Sit." Cara tells her. Kahlan looks over to Richard. He hasn't moved one inch, just like she instructed him. But she still won't sit. It feels too much like defeat.
"Take the amulet." Kahlan tells Richard, as she glances towards his general direction but careful not to meet his eyes.
"I thought it was broken." Cara interrupted.
"Zedd fixed it." Kahlan answers. "Besides, he only needs half of it, just enough magic to transport himself here." Kahlan explains.
"And what about me?" Richard asks.
"You." Kahlan tells him "Can walk." She tried to harden her voice, to sound cold, but her voice is trembling. She hates herself for it but she can not stop it from happening, from betraying to him her vulnerability and her feelings for him.
Richard looks to Cara, and Cara gives him an ever so slight nod.
"Go with him."Kahlan tells Cara.
"No." Cara answers.
"You can not let the Seeker go alone, I'm surprised I have to remind you of your duty to protect Richard."
"Ricahrd will be fine. He can take care of himself." Cara insists. The words sound strange and unfamiliar to her, and she doesn't really believe them. But Kahlan needs her more.
"Usually you're the one fawning all over Richard." Kahlan accuses Cara. "Richard, let me protect you." Kahlan mimics Cara's voice.
"Unless," Cara responds "Richard gives me a direct instruction otherwise. Besides, Richard doesn't need me to find Zedd." Cara asserts.
"I don't need you either." Kahlan mutters.
Kahlan almost thinks she sees Cara's eyes widen in shock, disappointment, almost as if Kahlan had hurt her feelings. But the look is fleeting, and Kahlan convinces herself it was imagined.
"Well." Richard speaks up, sensing a shift in the mood that he was anxious to dispell. "Let me make that an order then, Cara. As the presiding Lord Rahl, I order you to remain here while I am gone, and protect Kahlan as if she were me." He looks pleased with himself at the proclamation.
"Yes, Lord Rahl." Cara answers obediently, shooting Kahlan a glance of smug victory.
It sickened Kahlan to see the blind obedience from Cara, who had always known her own mind. Kahlan can't help the bitterness creeping over her. "I suppose that's what you always wanted from me, Seeker, blind obedience? Someone who would worship you and obey your every command without question?"
"Without question?" Richard scoffs. "Cara questions my every word. Argues with every thing I do!"
"But she still follows you." Kahlan explains. "Your word is above all, the one shining truth."
"I'm not the creator, not someone to be worshipped." Richard insists. "Everyone has a place, you, me, Cara, Zedd. We have all made errors in judgement along the way, all been wrong about things. I almost killed you in that Mord Sith temple, I almost allowed myself to be consumed by rage with the minders. I don't ask for blind obedience from anyone. But I thought I meant something to you. I know I did. You sacrificed your sister, or so you believed at the time, to come to Westland to find me."
Cara cringes at the mention of Dennee, but can't bring herself to silence Richard.
"You and Zedd told me that you would lay down your lives for me." Ricahrd continues.
"That I would." Kahlan acknowledges.
"I would rather you didn't." Richard tells her.
"Again, with what YOU want, Richard." Kahlan is fast losing her cool, and lets his name slip off her tongue.
"Am I such a terrible monster because I want you to live?" He challenges.
"You want me to live?" Kahlan clarifies. "Or you want me to live with you? Following you? Obeying you? Risking my life for you?"
"Is that a trick question?" Richard wants to know, but he answers just the same. "Yes, I want you with me, I need you, but even more than that I want you to be happy, I want you to believe in life, to value your own life as you value mine."
That kind of thing irritated her about Richard, his optimism. "Not everyone's life is as simplistic as yours." Kahlan tells him.
Before Ricahard can argue further, Cara interrupts. "You should get going, it will be dark soon." She says to Richard.
"Is that what you want, Kahlan?" Richard asks, ignoring Cara. "You want me gone? Is that why you want me to take the amulet to Zedd? So that he will be here, and Cara will be here, and I will be gone?"
"Yes, I want you gone." Kahlan whispers.
"Ok." Richard acknowledges "Well you don't need to go to all this trouble, all you need do is say so."
"I just did."Kahlan aswers coldly.
"Just go, Richard." Cara tells him. "This isn't helping anything."
Kahlan leans against the tree, staring defiantly at Richard, arms folded across her middle.
"Sit with me." Cara invites Kahlan, wanting Kahlan to turn from Richard.
"Are you leaving?" Kahlan demands of Richard, ignoring Cara's outstretched hand.
"Please, sit with Cara, and I will go." He tells her.
Kahlan looks to Richard, but says to Cara "I can kill you with one touch."
"So what?" Cara dismisses.
With that Kahlan shrugs, and allows Cara to pull her along. Cara sits first, casually crossing her legs and Kahlan follows, dropping to her knees.
"Now go, please, and find Zedd." Kahlan orders. She almost sounds like the old Kahlan, and something in her voice breaks. She turns away as a stray tear falls from her eyes. She promised herself she would NOT cry in front of him.
Something breaks inside him also. "I will go and get Zedd, because you asked me to, Kahlan. And I will leave you with Cara, because you asked me to the be one to leave you. But you will promise me you won't do anything crazy until I come back with Zedd."
Kahlan rolls her eyes. "I promise I wont touch a hair on Cara's head, and if you don't believe me then take her with you."
"I'm not worried about Cara, I'm worried about you. Kahlan, please, promise me you will be here when I get back with Zedd. I won't go until you look me in the eye and say it."
There was so little she could promise him. But he asked for just a few days. It wasn't unreasonable.
"Ok." Kahlan agreed. "I promise."
"I believe you." He tells her.
She thinks it must be hard, not being able to read people, to have to take someone at their word when they promised something to you. But Richard only ever believed the best in people.
"But only until you get Zedd." She adds quickly.
"Ok." Richard agrees, and turns to leave.
"Richard, wait." Kahlan calls to him to stop, and he turns expectantly towards her.
"Yes, Kahlan?"
"The reason I asked to see Zedd is because I want to ask him something. Something that only he can know And that's all. I don't need him to do anything. Or fix anything. I'm not under some dark enchantment that he can break." Kahlan tells him.
"I never said you were." Richard acknowledges.
"I see it in your eyes, what you think. You can't lie to a confessor."
"No, I can not." He acknowledges. "But you lie to me."
"When?" She asks defensively. "When have I ever lied to you?" Kahlan is aware of her long long list of faults, but lying is not among them.
"Richard just go!" Cara insists.
"How about when you said this- I'll always be at your side, Richard." He mocks her words. "I can't think of a worse betrayal than leaving you, Richard."
"Don't you have enough doted servants fawning over you, Lord Rahl?" Kahlan asks bitterly.
"Servants fawning over me? Do you think that's what you are to me? What Cara is to me? Zedd too? And all the people of the Midlands that I fought for?" He wants to know.
"Oh yes, that YOU fought for, single handedly." Kahlan adds sarcastically.
"Richard, you are making things worse, just go!" Cara instructs.
"Odd that you accuse me of wanting doting servants, when you just accused me five minutes ago of being confessed to you." He muses.
"Being confessed isn't an accusation against you." Kahlan objects.
"You tell me I'm blindly confessed to you, and yet you then tell me that it's how I see you, and Cara, as obedient servants? Did I mean nothing more than that? Did our love mean anything to you? Maybe not. Maybe you just aren't capable of understanding love. After all you don't have the luxury of love, so you keep telling me. Neither did your parents. In a way your upbringing is every bit as perverted and twisted as hers." Richard points to Cara.
"Hey!" Cara objects automatically to the insult.
At the same time Kahlan asks incredulously "Are you really comparing Confessors to Mord Sith?"
"Maybe you just aren't capable of understanding what a family is all about." Richard decides. "That you and Zedd and Cara are family to me. That I can't stand to see you unhappy. Maybe you don't understand that what you do affects me, and Cara, and Zedd. And the Midlands." Richard feels somehow that it is permissable to yell at Kahlan now, to disagree with her and challenge her, after all she is kneeling on the ground, a safe distance from the cliff top, she has dropped her sword, and still has hold of Cara's hand, So it's not like she is in any danger of hurting herself, or anyone else. He has quite forgotten about the stone that she has gritted in between her teeth. "You may very well be the world's last confessor, Have you thought about that?!" Richard demands. He is angry, more angry than he has let himself feel in a long long time. She frightened him so completely when he saw her standing so close to that edge, when she refused to come to him. He feels powerless and frustrated and betrayed.
"Yes, I've thought about that. I've thought a lot about that." Kahlan answers cryptically. "But things are never as simple as you want them to be, Richard."
"It IS simple." He insists. "I don't understand what is going on, but I love you, I believe in you, I would lay down my life for you."
"Don't say such things, Seeker. You don't have the luxury of love either. You have to think about your quest." Kahlan scolds him.
"The quest is over."
"There will be others." Kahlan tells him.
Cara speaks up finally. For the longest time she could think of nothing to say, and so she remained silent. But something sticks in her mind "Remember that time in the tomb?" Cara asks Kahlan. Richard looks to Cara, anxious to see where she is going. Cara relays the story Richard had never heard, about how she had ordered Kahlan to kill her, but Kahlan refused.
"Your life was more important." Cara insists "Yet you refused to sacrifice me. Why?"
"Because my life is not more important." Kahlan answers impatiently.
"Neither is mine more important than yours." Richard tells Kahlan.
"The Seeker is more important." Kahlan insists.
"The seeker can be replaced. I was replaced when I was in the palace of the prophets. Seekers come and go. I believed you when you told me you would lay down your life for me. But believe me, look into my eyes, and hear me when I tell you I would lay down my life before I let anything happen to you. You know it's true, Kahlan, you know it."
With those words Richard turns suddenly and walks away, as if he is satisfied that he has made him point, leaving Kahlan staring after him, literally biting her tongue to stop herself calling out his name. She had almost forgotten Cara was right there, by her side, until she felt Cara tightly squeeze her hand.
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Paining (s): Kahlan/Cara, Kahlan/Richard
Author: Carly Carter
Disclaimer :Don't own anything.
Summary: Well it's a story about Kahlan, caught between two equally horrifying destinies, and caught even more tightly between two people who love her, but knowing she can save only one.
A/N I have a strong dislike of Richard as we all know, but for the purposes of this story I need to emphasise that I do believe he Loves Kahlan fiercely.
A/N 2 Yes Kahaln/Cara have a happy ending.
AN 3 I NEED a Cara Kahlan icon if anyone is feeling generous to little carly carter.
Kahlan swallows hard. Everything in her is screaming "Jump". But she doesn't. She can't. She feels as if there is an invisible tether holding her to Richard. She feels that if she were to jump, she would pull him along with her. And she simply can not live, or die, with that on her conscience.
In that moment, Kahlan feels that it is her under his spell, and not him under any kind of confession.
"Don't look at me, Seeker, like you're so surprised. You always knew." She shoots at him.
"Knew what?" Richard asks, genuinely confused.
"The darkness that was inside of me. You saw it when the amulet split in two. You saw it when my nephew was born and I told you what must be done. you saw it when I had my hand at Cara's throat ready to execute her. So don't look at me as if you expect to see someone innocent and sweet and kind." Kahan tells him.
"What have they done to you?" Richard finally asks the question that had been on his mind the past three days. Kahlan had not quite been herself since he and Cara had rescued her. Richard doesn't know who "they" were or why they took Kahlan. And Kahlan herself claimed no knowledge. But something had markedly changed in her countenance since that experience.
"Why is it so important to believe that someone has done something to me?" Kahlan challenges, while at the same time avoiding the question. "Nothing has been "done" to me. I have told you over and over. Do you not understand who I am, Seeker? I am a Confessor, the Mother Confessor. I make people do things that I want, people don't do things to me."
Her tone reminds Richard again of the time the amulet split in two. She is logical and concise, but harsh and cold, as if a part of her were missing.
"You know." Richard muses, because he is quite at a loss for what to say or do. "You remind me very much of Cara. Your stubborn pride is going to get you killed. So just stop this, and tell us what is going on."
"If you cared about me, you would never ask me that. I told you, don't ask me. Ever. Why can't you respect what I ask of you, Seeker?" Kahlan ignores his insult, trying to remain calm and not let him anger her.
'Because you're standing so close to the edge,' Richard wants to scream at her 'Because something is very very wrong and I don't understand why you wont tell me what it is.' But he sighs in frustration, and for a moment says nothing.
It's Cara who speaks up. "I don't particulary care." She announces. "And I made no such promise. And I think the least you owe Richard is an explanation."
Kahlan only stares at her.
"Fine." Cara tells the other woman. "You had your chance. I'm not interested anymore. Do what you want. Jump if you want to jump. We aren't stopping you, are we?"
"Cara!" Richard shrieks at her, but Cara only smiles and raises her eyebrows at Kahlan.
"Don't take it out on me, Richard. I'm not being heartless or cruel. Just logical. I'm not encouraging her to do anything. She is a big girl. She is standing on a cliff top, very close to the edge, waving her sword at us, and if I'm not mistaken she has an Alkalis stone in her mouth. She has made her intentions clear, and has obviously thought it all out. I don't think there is anything you or I can do to stop her. She has made up her mind. And as you rightly said earlier, she is rather stubborn. So I don't see why we are all still standing here talking about it." Cara turns back to Kahlan "Go on, Kahlah, Do it."
Kahlan blinks, and stares for a moment into Cara's eyes, trying to make sense of her words, her actions. She had not been expecting Cara to tell her to jump. Sure, it was one thing to tell herself that Richard and Cara are better off without her around, but to hear it so plainly from Cara's mouth, well that hurt. More than a little. And it takes Kahlan a minute to process.
"Not in front of him." Kahlan tells Cara.
"Well." Cara laughs slightly. "He isn't going to leave you, and this can't be news to you. So make your choice. Do it already, or step away from the edge. End this, now, one way or the other. Jump, or bite down on that stone, or take your chances and attack us with the sword. Do something."
Kahlan makes no answer, no move. Cara inches surreptiotiously closer. "I think you don't really want to do any of those things, do you Kahlan? I think you want something else."
"There is nothing else." Kahlan says through gritted teeth as she tries, so hard, not to let her eyes water in front of Richard and Cara.
"You seem very certain of that." Cara observes. "But perhaps if you explained the problem, the three of us could come up with something, after all we have found our way out of many situations in the past."
Kahlan looks deeper into Cara's eyes, and Richard notices that her arm relaxes, and she lowers her sword. It irritates Richard, more than a little, that Cara, who just told Kahlan to go ahead and jump off a cliff, is actually getting somewhere in breaking through to Kahlan, while he is getting nowhere. Richard doesn't dare speak, afraid he will undo all the progress Cara has done in mere minutes.
"There must be something you haven't thought of." Cara insists.
"Zedd." Kahlan whipsers, as if a thought just occurred to her.
"Zedd will be back in three days, he went to visit his brother." Richard speaks up hesitantly.
"You asked what I needed." Kahlan snaps "And I need Zedd."
"What can Zedd do that I can't?" Cara asks, as if she were insulted.
"A great many things." Kahlan answers vaguely . But it is clear she has one specific thing on her mind.
"Fine." Richard answers quickly. "Cara, you travel to get Zedd, and Kahlan please, come over here, away from the edge."
Kahlan shakes her head. "Not Cara, you." She tells Richard.
Richards face falls, he can't deny he is hurt by the fact Kahlan is ordering him away. But he does see the way Cara is talking to Kahlan, the way Kahlan is starting to come around and open up. He doesn't understand it by any stretch of the imagination, but he sees it. Kahlan and Cara don't really get along all that well, they disagree all the time. And Cara isn't exactly being sweet and compassionate. But whatever Cara is doing, it is working. So Richard finally gives in. Kahlan's tone may have been cold and demanding, but her eyes were pleading. And he can not refuse her anything.
"Ok, I will go."Richard agrees. "But first, Kahlan, please, step away from the edge." He begs.
Kahlan looks from him to Cara and back to him again.
"First you step back, behind that tree." Kahlan points. "And don't dare move an inch." She adds in warning.
Richard nods, and backs away slowly towards the direction Kahlan had pointed. He raises his hands in the air, as if in surrender.
Kahlan feels dizzy with the power of control over him. The power of making him back away when he swore not to. Dizzy and light headed and more than a little sick.
Cara doesn't move, and if this bothers Kahlan, she makes no sign of it. Cara reaches her hand slowly towards the other woman. Cara is fully gloved in her red leather. And somehow this makes it ok in Kahlan's mind to take her hand. It doesn't feel like she is touching human skin. It is surreal. Cara pulls her gently away from the edge and Kahlan stumbles as Cara pushes her along the ground, until she is a safe distance from the cliff top, with Cara standing between her and the edge. But Cara still has hold of her hand, and Kahlan makes no move to push her away.
"Sit." Cara tells her. Kahlan looks over to Richard. He hasn't moved one inch, just like she instructed him. But she still won't sit. It feels too much like defeat.
"Take the amulet." Kahlan tells Richard, as she glances towards his general direction but careful not to meet his eyes.
"I thought it was broken." Cara interrupted.
"Zedd fixed it." Kahlan answers. "Besides, he only needs half of it, just enough magic to transport himself here." Kahlan explains.
"And what about me?" Richard asks.
"You." Kahlan tells him "Can walk." She tried to harden her voice, to sound cold, but her voice is trembling. She hates herself for it but she can not stop it from happening, from betraying to him her vulnerability and her feelings for him.
Richard looks to Cara, and Cara gives him an ever so slight nod.
"Go with him."Kahlan tells Cara.
"No." Cara answers.
"You can not let the Seeker go alone, I'm surprised I have to remind you of your duty to protect Richard."
"Ricahrd will be fine. He can take care of himself." Cara insists. The words sound strange and unfamiliar to her, and she doesn't really believe them. But Kahlan needs her more.
"Usually you're the one fawning all over Richard." Kahlan accuses Cara. "Richard, let me protect you." Kahlan mimics Cara's voice.
"Unless," Cara responds "Richard gives me a direct instruction otherwise. Besides, Richard doesn't need me to find Zedd." Cara asserts.
"I don't need you either." Kahlan mutters.
Kahlan almost thinks she sees Cara's eyes widen in shock, disappointment, almost as if Kahlan had hurt her feelings. But the look is fleeting, and Kahlan convinces herself it was imagined.
"Well." Richard speaks up, sensing a shift in the mood that he was anxious to dispell. "Let me make that an order then, Cara. As the presiding Lord Rahl, I order you to remain here while I am gone, and protect Kahlan as if she were me." He looks pleased with himself at the proclamation.
"Yes, Lord Rahl." Cara answers obediently, shooting Kahlan a glance of smug victory.
It sickened Kahlan to see the blind obedience from Cara, who had always known her own mind. Kahlan can't help the bitterness creeping over her. "I suppose that's what you always wanted from me, Seeker, blind obedience? Someone who would worship you and obey your every command without question?"
"Without question?" Richard scoffs. "Cara questions my every word. Argues with every thing I do!"
"But she still follows you." Kahlan explains. "Your word is above all, the one shining truth."
"I'm not the creator, not someone to be worshipped." Richard insists. "Everyone has a place, you, me, Cara, Zedd. We have all made errors in judgement along the way, all been wrong about things. I almost killed you in that Mord Sith temple, I almost allowed myself to be consumed by rage with the minders. I don't ask for blind obedience from anyone. But I thought I meant something to you. I know I did. You sacrificed your sister, or so you believed at the time, to come to Westland to find me."
Cara cringes at the mention of Dennee, but can't bring herself to silence Richard.
"You and Zedd told me that you would lay down your lives for me." Ricahrd continues.
"That I would." Kahlan acknowledges.
"I would rather you didn't." Richard tells her.
"Again, with what YOU want, Richard." Kahlan is fast losing her cool, and lets his name slip off her tongue.
"Am I such a terrible monster because I want you to live?" He challenges.
"You want me to live?" Kahlan clarifies. "Or you want me to live with you? Following you? Obeying you? Risking my life for you?"
"Is that a trick question?" Richard wants to know, but he answers just the same. "Yes, I want you with me, I need you, but even more than that I want you to be happy, I want you to believe in life, to value your own life as you value mine."
That kind of thing irritated her about Richard, his optimism. "Not everyone's life is as simplistic as yours." Kahlan tells him.
Before Ricahard can argue further, Cara interrupts. "You should get going, it will be dark soon." She says to Richard.
"Is that what you want, Kahlan?" Richard asks, ignoring Cara. "You want me gone? Is that why you want me to take the amulet to Zedd? So that he will be here, and Cara will be here, and I will be gone?"
"Yes, I want you gone." Kahlan whispers.
"Ok." Richard acknowledges "Well you don't need to go to all this trouble, all you need do is say so."
"I just did."Kahlan aswers coldly.
"Just go, Richard." Cara tells him. "This isn't helping anything."
Kahlan leans against the tree, staring defiantly at Richard, arms folded across her middle.
"Sit with me." Cara invites Kahlan, wanting Kahlan to turn from Richard.
"Are you leaving?" Kahlan demands of Richard, ignoring Cara's outstretched hand.
"Please, sit with Cara, and I will go." He tells her.
Kahlan looks to Richard, but says to Cara "I can kill you with one touch."
"So what?" Cara dismisses.
With that Kahlan shrugs, and allows Cara to pull her along. Cara sits first, casually crossing her legs and Kahlan follows, dropping to her knees.
"Now go, please, and find Zedd." Kahlan orders. She almost sounds like the old Kahlan, and something in her voice breaks. She turns away as a stray tear falls from her eyes. She promised herself she would NOT cry in front of him.
Something breaks inside him also. "I will go and get Zedd, because you asked me to, Kahlan. And I will leave you with Cara, because you asked me to the be one to leave you. But you will promise me you won't do anything crazy until I come back with Zedd."
Kahlan rolls her eyes. "I promise I wont touch a hair on Cara's head, and if you don't believe me then take her with you."
"I'm not worried about Cara, I'm worried about you. Kahlan, please, promise me you will be here when I get back with Zedd. I won't go until you look me in the eye and say it."
There was so little she could promise him. But he asked for just a few days. It wasn't unreasonable.
"Ok." Kahlan agreed. "I promise."
"I believe you." He tells her.
She thinks it must be hard, not being able to read people, to have to take someone at their word when they promised something to you. But Richard only ever believed the best in people.
"But only until you get Zedd." She adds quickly.
"Ok." Richard agrees, and turns to leave.
"Richard, wait." Kahlan calls to him to stop, and he turns expectantly towards her.
"Yes, Kahlan?"
"The reason I asked to see Zedd is because I want to ask him something. Something that only he can know And that's all. I don't need him to do anything. Or fix anything. I'm not under some dark enchantment that he can break." Kahlan tells him.
"I never said you were." Richard acknowledges.
"I see it in your eyes, what you think. You can't lie to a confessor."
"No, I can not." He acknowledges. "But you lie to me."
"When?" She asks defensively. "When have I ever lied to you?" Kahlan is aware of her long long list of faults, but lying is not among them.
"Richard just go!" Cara insists.
"How about when you said this- I'll always be at your side, Richard." He mocks her words. "I can't think of a worse betrayal than leaving you, Richard."
"Don't you have enough doted servants fawning over you, Lord Rahl?" Kahlan asks bitterly.
"Servants fawning over me? Do you think that's what you are to me? What Cara is to me? Zedd too? And all the people of the Midlands that I fought for?" He wants to know.
"Oh yes, that YOU fought for, single handedly." Kahlan adds sarcastically.
"Richard, you are making things worse, just go!" Cara instructs.
"Odd that you accuse me of wanting doting servants, when you just accused me five minutes ago of being confessed to you." He muses.
"Being confessed isn't an accusation against you." Kahlan objects.
"You tell me I'm blindly confessed to you, and yet you then tell me that it's how I see you, and Cara, as obedient servants? Did I mean nothing more than that? Did our love mean anything to you? Maybe not. Maybe you just aren't capable of understanding love. After all you don't have the luxury of love, so you keep telling me. Neither did your parents. In a way your upbringing is every bit as perverted and twisted as hers." Richard points to Cara.
"Hey!" Cara objects automatically to the insult.
At the same time Kahlan asks incredulously "Are you really comparing Confessors to Mord Sith?"
"Maybe you just aren't capable of understanding what a family is all about." Richard decides. "That you and Zedd and Cara are family to me. That I can't stand to see you unhappy. Maybe you don't understand that what you do affects me, and Cara, and Zedd. And the Midlands." Richard feels somehow that it is permissable to yell at Kahlan now, to disagree with her and challenge her, after all she is kneeling on the ground, a safe distance from the cliff top, she has dropped her sword, and still has hold of Cara's hand, So it's not like she is in any danger of hurting herself, or anyone else. He has quite forgotten about the stone that she has gritted in between her teeth. "You may very well be the world's last confessor, Have you thought about that?!" Richard demands. He is angry, more angry than he has let himself feel in a long long time. She frightened him so completely when he saw her standing so close to that edge, when she refused to come to him. He feels powerless and frustrated and betrayed.
"Yes, I've thought about that. I've thought a lot about that." Kahlan answers cryptically. "But things are never as simple as you want them to be, Richard."
"It IS simple." He insists. "I don't understand what is going on, but I love you, I believe in you, I would lay down my life for you."
"Don't say such things, Seeker. You don't have the luxury of love either. You have to think about your quest." Kahlan scolds him.
"The quest is over."
"There will be others." Kahlan tells him.
Cara speaks up finally. For the longest time she could think of nothing to say, and so she remained silent. But something sticks in her mind "Remember that time in the tomb?" Cara asks Kahlan. Richard looks to Cara, anxious to see where she is going. Cara relays the story Richard had never heard, about how she had ordered Kahlan to kill her, but Kahlan refused.
"Your life was more important." Cara insists "Yet you refused to sacrifice me. Why?"
"Because my life is not more important." Kahlan answers impatiently.
"Neither is mine more important than yours." Richard tells Kahlan.
"The Seeker is more important." Kahlan insists.
"The seeker can be replaced. I was replaced when I was in the palace of the prophets. Seekers come and go. I believed you when you told me you would lay down your life for me. But believe me, look into my eyes, and hear me when I tell you I would lay down my life before I let anything happen to you. You know it's true, Kahlan, you know it."
With those words Richard turns suddenly and walks away, as if he is satisfied that he has made him point, leaving Kahlan staring after him, literally biting her tongue to stop herself calling out his name. She had almost forgotten Cara was right there, by her side, until she felt Cara tightly squeeze her hand.