PrP Fic: Incomplete: Addison, Naomi, Sam: Chapter 4
Title: Incomplete
Author: Carly Carter
Fandom: Private Practice
Characters: Addison, Naomi, Sam (No real pairings at this stage)
Rating: PG For now
Disclaimer: Don't own anything!
Summary: Set after the 'nice shoes' encounter in the elevator with Addison & Naomi. The show resolved it far too smoothly for my liking, and thus this fic was born! Sam features prominently in the fic, but so far it's not intended as an Addison/Sam fic.
Chapter 4
Sam busies himself cleaning up the broken glass. He finds himself thankful for the task to take his mind off his impulse to pull Addison into his arms and kiss her. He finds his words entirely inadequate. He longs for something to take away the obvious pain in her eyes. Sam knows that kissing her would solve nothing, aside from making himself feel better, making himself feel like he had achieved something constructive. He knows that kissing her wouldn't be fair. So he carries her upstairs and watches over her as she, exhausted, falls into a restless sleep. And then turns his attention to cleaning up the mess downstairs.
Sam has known Addison for a long time, and he doesn't remember ever seeing Addison so low. If Violet were not so off the planet herself, Sam may have been tempted to ask her for advice. And if there wasn't such obvious friction between Addison and Naomi, Sam would have called her hours ago and dumped the entire thing in her lap. But as it is, Sam is on his own. And, helpless to know what to do for Addison, he finishes cleaning the mess, and makes himself comfortable on the couch for the night.
~~...~~
Addison wakes the next morning, as she has done so many times after her life has fallen apart, and she finds the world still turning. She finds that people are still looking to her for answers, expecting great things from her as a doctor. She finds that she still has to keep on going, putting one foot in front of the other. But for the first time in her life, she is not sure that she can. She is not sure that she wants to. She knows it's a dangerous slippery slope into depression. And so she pushes her self pitying thoughts aside, refusing to give them space in her mind. Outside the waves are crashing against the shore, reminding her of just how small a part she really is in the entire universe. She finds the thought comforting, and manages to drag herself out of bed ready for work.
Sam is downstairs in her kitchen, preparing breakfast. The sight of him sends an odd shiver of panic through her. Had he stayed the night? Had they....? Her mind is foggy from far too much alcohol, and she is relieved beyond belief to glance over her shoulder and find that he has slept on the couch.
Sam seems surprised that she is ready for work, and tactfully suggests she might like to take the day off. The thought makes Addison cringe. What would she do all day long if she didn't have work? Sam relents, seeing the determination in her eyes, and lets the subject drop. Besides, at least at work he can keep an eye on her.
“I don't need you to take care of me, Sam.” Addison tells him, aware that her words sound somewhat harsh after he has gone to all the trouble of making breakfast for her, of staying the night to make sure she was alright.
“Ok.” Sam nods, though he is far from convinced. And he thinks to himself that he has never seen her looking more vulnerable than in that moment.
Addison shakes her head wearily. She meant those words. It wasn't Sam that she needed to be here taking care of her. It wasn't Sam that she wanted. It was Naomi.
~~...~~
The two of them arrive late to the office. Addison is oblivious to the perplexed look they receive from Naomi as she spies them sneaking in late. Naomi couldn't help but notice that they arrived in the same car. It almost makes her jealous. Even though she tells herself that they are neighbours, that it makes sense to car pool. Even though she tells her self she is long over Sam. She realises with alarm that it's not Sam she is jealous for. Its the fact that Addison has shut her completely out of her life, that Addison has found someone new to confide in. And yet Naomi can't help the passing query in her mind- Did Sam even come home last night? Naomi fails to see the way Addison walks, a short distance ahead, completley oblivious to Sam, they are not touching, not talking. Naomi fails to see the bandages around Addison's hand, or the lifeless stare in her eyes. All she sees is her friend, her ex freind, who no longer appears to need her in the slightest.
During the morning meeting, Sam is discussing a recent problematic case. The others around the table offer their input. Friendly arguing and disagreements ensue. Addison can't focus on his words. It's as if time is moving slowly, as if time is moving backwards. To the point that it becomes unbearable to sit there a moment longer, pretending to participate, pretending to care. Without a word, Addison gets up from her place at the table, silently, gracefully, and just walks out. On the way past she mumbles something to Dell about cancelling her appointments. He replies in protest, but Addison can no longer hear him.
Addison feels like the air in this building is oppressive, she feels like she can't breathe. She tells herself that if she just makes it outside, everything will be better. She will be ok. Yet something pulls her to get off the elevator on the fourth floor. Something pulls her to Naomi's office. She lingers there, tracing her fingers over the name plate on the door, as if somehow longing to reconnect with her friend. Missing her. She strains her ears to hear her best friends voice on the other side of that closed door, talking casually on the phone to another colleague. Addison closes her eyes for a moment, and longs for the time that she would have walked straight into that office, uninvited, and poured her heart out to Naomi. And Naomi, as always, would have made everything seem ok, even thought Addison felt like the world was crumbling around her.
Addison reminds herself that she has no right to stand outside Naomi's door feeling bitter. She is the one who shut Naomi out. She turns then, walking away from Naomi's office, that closed door. Refusing to look back over her shoulder, Addison heads outside. She has no where to go, as she arrived at work in Sam's car. And so she begins walking, aimlessly. Enjoying the sense of freedom and anonymity as she passed by strangers in the street and not one of them looks twice at her.
It alarms her somewhat that she has no destination. She laughs aloud at that thought. Addison Montgomery, world renowned sureon. She could walk into a job in any city in this country. And yet she still has no place to call home.
Addison really thought she had found it this time. Found home. Somehwere she could escape all the heartache of the past and start again. And sure, she had good times here. But the good times never lasted. The heart break always caught up with her. On some level Addison had always known she was running from herself. She had always known it was futile. She kept making the same mistakes over and over. She would never learn. And there was no where to run to this time. There was simply no where to go.
She is startled out of her thoughts by the sound of her cell phone. She pulls it from her pocket to find that it's Sam ringing. She rejects the call instantly. She feels bad for a moment. She realises that he cares, that he is concerned, that he is trying to be a friend. But all she wants is to be alone with her thoughts. She has no desire to share her misery with well meaning others. So distracted is she by the phone call and her guilt at hanging up on Sam, that she fails to notice the car speeding towards her as she steps off the kerb to cross the street. Addison never saw it coming. Never lifted her head. All she heard was the screeching tyres, the deafening bang, and then everything went black.
Author: Carly Carter
Fandom: Private Practice
Characters: Addison, Naomi, Sam (No real pairings at this stage)
Rating: PG For now
Disclaimer: Don't own anything!
Summary: Set after the 'nice shoes' encounter in the elevator with Addison & Naomi. The show resolved it far too smoothly for my liking, and thus this fic was born! Sam features prominently in the fic, but so far it's not intended as an Addison/Sam fic.
Chapter 4
Sam busies himself cleaning up the broken glass. He finds himself thankful for the task to take his mind off his impulse to pull Addison into his arms and kiss her. He finds his words entirely inadequate. He longs for something to take away the obvious pain in her eyes. Sam knows that kissing her would solve nothing, aside from making himself feel better, making himself feel like he had achieved something constructive. He knows that kissing her wouldn't be fair. So he carries her upstairs and watches over her as she, exhausted, falls into a restless sleep. And then turns his attention to cleaning up the mess downstairs.
Sam has known Addison for a long time, and he doesn't remember ever seeing Addison so low. If Violet were not so off the planet herself, Sam may have been tempted to ask her for advice. And if there wasn't such obvious friction between Addison and Naomi, Sam would have called her hours ago and dumped the entire thing in her lap. But as it is, Sam is on his own. And, helpless to know what to do for Addison, he finishes cleaning the mess, and makes himself comfortable on the couch for the night.
~~...~~
Addison wakes the next morning, as she has done so many times after her life has fallen apart, and she finds the world still turning. She finds that people are still looking to her for answers, expecting great things from her as a doctor. She finds that she still has to keep on going, putting one foot in front of the other. But for the first time in her life, she is not sure that she can. She is not sure that she wants to. She knows it's a dangerous slippery slope into depression. And so she pushes her self pitying thoughts aside, refusing to give them space in her mind. Outside the waves are crashing against the shore, reminding her of just how small a part she really is in the entire universe. She finds the thought comforting, and manages to drag herself out of bed ready for work.
Sam is downstairs in her kitchen, preparing breakfast. The sight of him sends an odd shiver of panic through her. Had he stayed the night? Had they....? Her mind is foggy from far too much alcohol, and she is relieved beyond belief to glance over her shoulder and find that he has slept on the couch.
Sam seems surprised that she is ready for work, and tactfully suggests she might like to take the day off. The thought makes Addison cringe. What would she do all day long if she didn't have work? Sam relents, seeing the determination in her eyes, and lets the subject drop. Besides, at least at work he can keep an eye on her.
“I don't need you to take care of me, Sam.” Addison tells him, aware that her words sound somewhat harsh after he has gone to all the trouble of making breakfast for her, of staying the night to make sure she was alright.
“Ok.” Sam nods, though he is far from convinced. And he thinks to himself that he has never seen her looking more vulnerable than in that moment.
Addison shakes her head wearily. She meant those words. It wasn't Sam that she needed to be here taking care of her. It wasn't Sam that she wanted. It was Naomi.
~~...~~
The two of them arrive late to the office. Addison is oblivious to the perplexed look they receive from Naomi as she spies them sneaking in late. Naomi couldn't help but notice that they arrived in the same car. It almost makes her jealous. Even though she tells herself that they are neighbours, that it makes sense to car pool. Even though she tells her self she is long over Sam. She realises with alarm that it's not Sam she is jealous for. Its the fact that Addison has shut her completely out of her life, that Addison has found someone new to confide in. And yet Naomi can't help the passing query in her mind- Did Sam even come home last night? Naomi fails to see the way Addison walks, a short distance ahead, completley oblivious to Sam, they are not touching, not talking. Naomi fails to see the bandages around Addison's hand, or the lifeless stare in her eyes. All she sees is her friend, her ex freind, who no longer appears to need her in the slightest.
During the morning meeting, Sam is discussing a recent problematic case. The others around the table offer their input. Friendly arguing and disagreements ensue. Addison can't focus on his words. It's as if time is moving slowly, as if time is moving backwards. To the point that it becomes unbearable to sit there a moment longer, pretending to participate, pretending to care. Without a word, Addison gets up from her place at the table, silently, gracefully, and just walks out. On the way past she mumbles something to Dell about cancelling her appointments. He replies in protest, but Addison can no longer hear him.
Addison feels like the air in this building is oppressive, she feels like she can't breathe. She tells herself that if she just makes it outside, everything will be better. She will be ok. Yet something pulls her to get off the elevator on the fourth floor. Something pulls her to Naomi's office. She lingers there, tracing her fingers over the name plate on the door, as if somehow longing to reconnect with her friend. Missing her. She strains her ears to hear her best friends voice on the other side of that closed door, talking casually on the phone to another colleague. Addison closes her eyes for a moment, and longs for the time that she would have walked straight into that office, uninvited, and poured her heart out to Naomi. And Naomi, as always, would have made everything seem ok, even thought Addison felt like the world was crumbling around her.
Addison reminds herself that she has no right to stand outside Naomi's door feeling bitter. She is the one who shut Naomi out. She turns then, walking away from Naomi's office, that closed door. Refusing to look back over her shoulder, Addison heads outside. She has no where to go, as she arrived at work in Sam's car. And so she begins walking, aimlessly. Enjoying the sense of freedom and anonymity as she passed by strangers in the street and not one of them looks twice at her.
It alarms her somewhat that she has no destination. She laughs aloud at that thought. Addison Montgomery, world renowned sureon. She could walk into a job in any city in this country. And yet she still has no place to call home.
Addison really thought she had found it this time. Found home. Somehwere she could escape all the heartache of the past and start again. And sure, she had good times here. But the good times never lasted. The heart break always caught up with her. On some level Addison had always known she was running from herself. She had always known it was futile. She kept making the same mistakes over and over. She would never learn. And there was no where to run to this time. There was simply no where to go.
She is startled out of her thoughts by the sound of her cell phone. She pulls it from her pocket to find that it's Sam ringing. She rejects the call instantly. She feels bad for a moment. She realises that he cares, that he is concerned, that he is trying to be a friend. But all she wants is to be alone with her thoughts. She has no desire to share her misery with well meaning others. So distracted is she by the phone call and her guilt at hanging up on Sam, that she fails to notice the car speeding towards her as she steps off the kerb to cross the street. Addison never saw it coming. Never lifted her head. All she heard was the screeching tyres, the deafening bang, and then everything went black.