LOST Fic : Kate & Juliet, 'Contition.' 1.4
1.4 On board a mysterious illegal non English speaking smuggling ship in oceania.
Six months and some weeks ish ago. Or so.
“You said you would help me.” Kate pleaded
“That was back then, back there.” You answered her. Back there where I would have done anything to save your life. Back then where I did in fact let dozens of innocent people die to save you, Kate.
“You changed your mind.” Kate accused.
“Things changed. There isn’t any reason. Not here. Life is so precious. I don’t understand how you can even ask me...”
“I don’t want to kill it. I just can’t keep it.” She told you.
It always sent chills down your spine, that tone of voice she used when she said ‘it’ in reference to her unborn child. You understood, back there on the island, back there when you’d told her that pregnancy would kill her. You understood she didn’t want to get attached. You understood that she wanted you to terminate the pregnancy. You would have done it anyway, regardless of her wishes. You would not have been able to sit back and watch her die. To add her name to that unending list of women you were supposed to save and couldn’t. But that was then and there, this was here and now. Away from that ghastly island, on board this ship bound for Australia. You were both free. She would be fine. The baby would be fine. After you spent your career trying to help woman get pregnant, It chilled you to the bone to hear the way she talked about getting rid of this baby.
“Kate, that’s your child you’re talking about.” You reminded her gently.
“I don’t expect you to understand.” She answered.
That infuriated you. After everything you’d been through, after everything you’d risked and sacrificed to save her life, how could she dismiss you so easily “Try me.” You suggested. Trying not to get angry. You were both exhausted after the long boat journey. Neither of you had slept for days. Neither of you were thinking clearly. You had finally escaped that hellish island, the three of you. You, Kate and Jack. Only to find yourself imprisoned on that ghastly ship for the weeks it took to reach Australia. You hadn’t many opportunities to talk to Kate alone, Jack seemed to be around constantly. He didn’t know about the pregnancy. You were the only one that knew. And thankfully Jack attributed Kate’s morning sickness to sea sickness. You were confident that he didn’t suspect a thing. Not that it was the kind of thing you could keep secret forever.
“You don’t know me.” Kate told you.
That infuriated you even more. “Obviously not “ You answered flatly.
“You don’t know what’s inside of me, what was inside of my father. The only chance this kid has is far away from me. Look what my own mother thinks of me. What kind of a mother would I be?”
You tried not to be too dismissive, after all you could see this was genuinely bothering her. But honestly, that was all complete nonsense. It took every ounce of restraint not to tell her how completely ridiculous she was being. Instead you looked her straight in the eye, taking her hand in your own gently, and told her “I know you, Kate. I know how good you are, how strong and how brave, and how much love you have to give. And I’ll be right there by your side.”
“What kind of life could I give this kid? On the run from the law? Or from a Jail cell?” She asked you.
“It won’t come to that, we’ll work something out. We’ll get a great lawyer. ..“
She shrugged off all your reassurances as meaningless. “I couldn’t stand to look at it every day. To be reminded of it’s father. To be tied to that man for the rest of my life.”
“The father is dead.” You reminded her. “Forget him. It’s just us now.”
Kate stopped in that moment. Stopped with all her ridiculous protests and stared right at you. Only months later did you stop and wonder. Had she ever actually told you who the father was? You made so many assumptions, and she had never corrected you. But she had never actually come out and said his name. Kate opened her mouth to say something in that moment. But stopped herself.
“You could take it with you.” She finally spoke, leaving the subject of the father for dead. You were so appalled by her suggestion that the father left your thoughts too.
“The baby?” You asked her.
She nodded.
“Take it where?” You demanded to know.
“Back to the US, to your sister and your nephew.”
“But Kate,” You told her slowly “You’ll be right there beside me.” Even as you said the words, you knew she was having second thoughts. That after everything you’d done for her, she was going to leave you behind for dust.
“No one on this freaking ship even speaks english. Whatever they are transporting, I don’t think its legal. When we get to Australia, it will be the perfect chance. I could just disappear.”
“We talked about this.” You reminded her.
“But we thought it would be so different. Media everywhere. No choice but to turn myself in.”
“I’m not listening to this anymore. This isn’t the answer. You’re talking crazy. None of this is the answer. You’re not thinking clearly.” She couldn’t really be thinking about going on the run again, what kind of life was that? Leaving her baby behind, leaving you behind? It was madness.
She rolled her eyes. “Because I don’t agree with you Juliet, I’m not thinking clearly? Of course, I forgot that you’re so much smarter than me.” She said bitterly.
“Stop it, Kate.”
“It’s all very easy for you to decide what’s best, you’re not the one going to end up in a jail cell for the rest of your life.”
“I’m not the one who killed a man in cold blood either.” You told her. You don’t even know where that came from. Not when you looked at the countless people who died on that island because of you. It wasn’t even true. You had plenty of blood on your own hands. You were just so sick of this endless argument. You wanted it to stop. She was so impossible when she was like this. There was no way for you to win. No matter what you said or did, she was going to leave you. You regretted the words instantly, but you learned long ago that words, once spoken, can never be recalled.