its been a long time....
so wow its been awhile. i have had tons of stuff to post, but i just dont write anymore. which really sucks because i used to love to write. i am stuck. i can get myself out, but im not sure how. i hate my life. idk if i love people as much as i beleive i do. i know what i want to do with my life, and im not sure it involves them. im not sure it involves anybody. i almost think i just need to leave and start somewhere new. sometimes i wish i had gone off to college and left everything else behind. i just dont understand why i am like this...why am i insanely happy one minute with him and so depressed i cant breathe the next. i dont know what our future is. i want to believe. i really REALLY do. but all signs point south. i havent felt like i hate myself in a long time. but i see why i should. and sometimes its because of him.
sometimes i am madly in love with him, and the next minute it seems like im talking myself out of it. basically i dont try anymore. i dont trust him. ive tried. im trying. maybe its just all wrong. should it be this hard? i know its going to be hard. but THIS hard? i dont know...
stuck
theres a way out im sure
but how i dont know
i grow and die everyday with you
you make me beleive
and doubt everything
high and low
ups and downs
back and fourths
and i still never get anywhere
and it's my fault im here
but it's your fault im crying
sometimes i am madly in love with him, and the next minute it seems like im talking myself out of it. basically i dont try anymore. i dont trust him. ive tried. im trying. maybe its just all wrong. should it be this hard? i know its going to be hard. but THIS hard? i dont know...
stuck
theres a way out im sure
but how i dont know
i grow and die everyday with you
you make me beleive
and doubt everything
high and low
ups and downs
back and fourths
and i still never get anywhere
and it's my fault im here
but it's your fault im crying