college
well..its official
(it was about 3 weeks ago too)
i got into purchase college..so im going somewhere
im 1 for 1..waiting on 9 more
its january 8th...i cant help feeling like things are going so fast
every time i think about college..its in like 7 months...it makes me want to cry..i dont want to go
i dont want to leave my house..my freinds..my boyfriend..my comfort zone
my freinds..my boyfreind...im going to miss them so much
i know ill get used to it when im there but..when did i grow up?
im gonna be 19 next september...it scares me so much
i just want to be a little kid again..& not have to worry about this
18 is too young for college..we dont even know what we want to be when we grow up by the end of it anyways
i just got thinking about joe...i always brushed it off in our relatinoship like 'oh..itll work itself out' or..'oh we probably wont be going out by the time i go to college anyway'
& here i am...so in love with him that i havent been able to face myself...whenever i even bring it up i have to change the subject because i cant handle it..i know people have long distance relatinoships and make it work but still..its just really scary..i love that kid with all of my heart...and we'll be giong out 2 years in 2 months
anyways..this song is the only thing that can sum up how i feel..i cant even type without starting to cry
john mayer put commentary when he first put out this album..and this is what he said before this song..he said
"Time is moving forward...all the time & we know that, but...its kind of like running out of a continually burning hallway and you cant go back and get your stuff and all i want to do is yell 'i wanna go get my stuff!' and people are going 'you cant, keep running!' & this fireball is coming up behind you...well--not as indiana jones as that but it..it feels like it sometimes..& this is a song begging to go back & its called stop this train"
"Stop this train" by john mayer
'no im not colorblind
i know the world is black and white
try to keep an open mind but
i just cant sleep on this tonight..
stop this train i wanna get off & go home again
i cant take the speed its movin in
i know i cant but honestly
wont someone stop this train?
dont know how else to say it
dont want to see my parents go
one generation's length away
from fighting life out on my own
stop this train i wanna get off & go home again
i cant take the speed its movin in
i know i cant but honestly
wont someone stop this train?
so scared of getting older
im only good at being young
so i play the numbers game
to find a way to say that life has just begun
had a talk with my old man
said "help me understand"
he said "turn 68..you'll renegotiate--
dont stop this train..dont for a minute
change the place your in..dont think i couldnt
ever understand..i tried my hand, John honestly
we'll never stop this train"
once in a while when its good
itll feel like it should
and they're all still around
and your still safe and sound
and you dont miss a thing
till you cry when your driving away in the dark
singing "stop this train..i wanna get off & go home again
i cant take the speed its moving in..i know i cant..cause
now i see...ill never stop this train"
i swear that song makes me cry every time. if your going away to college, you should download it..looking at the lyrics doeesnt do it justice..
this is the only thing that can explain how im feeling right now
comment if you want<3