(no subject)
I think it's really hilarious that I can name one, maybe two people in my last post. Seriously, who the fuck was I talking about?
As goes the story of my life, one year is so damn different from the next I can hardly make sense of it. As my 20's come to a close (Noooooooooooo I'm not ready to face that music), I recognize my struggle to find something, anything, to make me happy and it took me from Toledo to Orlando, from college to cleaning. I joke that I could never make a 5 or 10 year plan, I can't even imagine where and what I'll be in 365. My life when I posted last in 2011? I'm so disconnected from it, I can't even. I just cannot even.
I'm slow as hell. I wander around and pick up what's been dropped on the floor (Lord Only Knows). I take. I'll take what you offer, and not offer anything in return. I'm lazy. I don't want to go to school, but the one thing I committed to 10 years ago was school. To make my dreams come true. To survive in the world. The only thing it's been to me is a heartbreaker and an expense. I fully understand that dreams don't come true and I'm not smart enough to make it happen. What I wanted in life, I will not get. It's just about trying to make the best of things until you die. And damned if I know I'll never be satisfied.
That's so pessimistic. I promise I'm not sad, and overall I'm okay. I'm pretty lucky actually. I'm just hanging chill until my opportunity to break out comes around. That's what I'm waiting on now. The secret is? It's all one big waiting game.
As goes the story of my life, one year is so damn different from the next I can hardly make sense of it. As my 20's come to a close (Noooooooooooo I'm not ready to face that music), I recognize my struggle to find something, anything, to make me happy and it took me from Toledo to Orlando, from college to cleaning. I joke that I could never make a 5 or 10 year plan, I can't even imagine where and what I'll be in 365. My life when I posted last in 2011? I'm so disconnected from it, I can't even. I just cannot even.
I'm slow as hell. I wander around and pick up what's been dropped on the floor (Lord Only Knows). I take. I'll take what you offer, and not offer anything in return. I'm lazy. I don't want to go to school, but the one thing I committed to 10 years ago was school. To make my dreams come true. To survive in the world. The only thing it's been to me is a heartbreaker and an expense. I fully understand that dreams don't come true and I'm not smart enough to make it happen. What I wanted in life, I will not get. It's just about trying to make the best of things until you die. And damned if I know I'll never be satisfied.
That's so pessimistic. I promise I'm not sad, and overall I'm okay. I'm pretty lucky actually. I'm just hanging chill until my opportunity to break out comes around. That's what I'm waiting on now. The secret is? It's all one big waiting game.