humm
lets right down carlys random thoughts ok yay....
lets go...
life hmm well yes about that...well it was great. seemd likes things were pickng up going awesome there was hope, things were going to get even better....but then it turned.
in the past month it seems like things have started to go to shit. things are changing again...well there are some good things going on but at the same time im not to sure about. feels like im being used...maybe i dunno maybe one day it seem great that tihngs are going awesome and yeah but others its like well what do you really want from me? what are you really thinking? what are you really doing? what do you want to know? ask me ill tell you.
what else...hmm things being blow out of porpotion...
things not what they seem to be.
ok lets say it coz i need to get it off my chest and im going to.
so what i said a cupple of words that got taken the wrong way. but im not the only one so many other people do the same thing. so many people cant stand other people. so many people in this world act all nice to your face but will be completly different behind your back even the best of friends even people you have know all your life they all do it we all do it. i dont know one person who doesnt. god sometimes my own family does it. god i get told a different story to what someone else gets told in my family that is terribal. the amount of times iv had people come to me and tell me something bad about another person but never anything good if i had a dollar for every time id be a million era by now! for sure!
i think ill stop there...maybe....
yeah another thing i hate being lied to. i dont lie to people hoping they wont lie to me....but it doesnt seem to be working that way so many people lie and lie to me even my own father does it. i also dont like being lied to straight to my face... i think iot happened today at least twice....
i foudn it rather funny how at the moment i trust one sertain person more then the person i should trust the most....odd but seems to be that way. i can talk to the person about anything and everything but not the person who i should be telling thing things to. i guess i just shut my mouth beacuse i dont to cause shit between us or what ever but who knows the minde works in weird ways.....
hmmm what else do i have to say.... i dont know it just seems like everyone is out to get me....i just think to much i think. i think to deep about things....i think about what could happen what might happen what wont happen what should happen what i want to happen....i dont know why but i always over think things and let them get to me. why do i let pety little tings build up and get to me? why dont i confront people? why dont i really tell people exactly what im thinking? why dont i always tell te full story? why? why? why? i just dont know any more. i just dont know what to do. but the only one that can fix this is me no one else can fix my life. i wish they could but i dont think it would work. i do wish i could hand my life over to someone and say hey fix this for me and give it back when you have thanks mate.
mate hmmm now thats a word....
see it feels like i dont know who my friends are any more, i dont know who to trust i dont know wo to tell what to, so i dont say anything at all. it just seems like that no matter what you say to someone they tell someone else its a bad chain, you tell someone thinking they wont tell another but they tell another thinking or knowing they wont tell but they still do tell an other... hmmmm i just dont get it why do people have to be so harsh. god why cant everything just be awesome....fuk me!! god damn!
see this is why i want to "run away" to tassie. no one really understands me here. no one cares. i wont to go to a completly different place start again be me have better friends have people around me who understand who listen who care who want to be there for me who want to care for me who love me for me. not people who pretend to be something they are not, not people who ignor me, not people who tlaking to me for 5 seconds and thats enough, not people woh dont care, not people who dont want to be around me, not people who dont give a fuck!!! geeez!
i just dont know what to do any more .....
HELP ME SOMEONE PLEASE!!!
help me to understnd whats going on
help me get this situation
dont dictate to me
dont tell me whats right for me
dont tell what i should and shouldnt do
dont tell me thats life youll live( coz not everyone does)
why cant some just tell me hey dude life is shit youll be ok im here for you ill listen to you i wont tell you what i think you should do ill just listen to what you have to say and be a friend give you abig hug when your done letting go done wiht your anger and say feel better? ok now do what you thinks best.
that would be just grand if things worked that way....
there are so many things that are confusing me right now and i wish everyone would just ifx their problems stop making them my problem and get over them self that would be great if you could do that would make tihngs easy on me right now. i dont nee this shit.
3 weeks and things look dim.....hmmm....:S
3 weeks no one knows about....
maybe 3 weeks no one will ever know about...who knows...
well i guess i fell better letting out all this shit sorry if you read this and thought what a loser god get over your self deal with it shit happens to the best of us....
well thats great...everyone opions are well should be valued but this is how i feel right now and i rather write it down then let out my feelings, anger in another way. i see this in a good way to release pain...
ok well i think i leave it at that for now might have more to say another day but thats all for now
:)
Carly
xoxo
lets go...
life hmm well yes about that...well it was great. seemd likes things were pickng up going awesome there was hope, things were going to get even better....but then it turned.
in the past month it seems like things have started to go to shit. things are changing again...well there are some good things going on but at the same time im not to sure about. feels like im being used...maybe i dunno maybe one day it seem great that tihngs are going awesome and yeah but others its like well what do you really want from me? what are you really thinking? what are you really doing? what do you want to know? ask me ill tell you.
what else...hmm things being blow out of porpotion...
things not what they seem to be.
ok lets say it coz i need to get it off my chest and im going to.
so what i said a cupple of words that got taken the wrong way. but im not the only one so many other people do the same thing. so many people cant stand other people. so many people in this world act all nice to your face but will be completly different behind your back even the best of friends even people you have know all your life they all do it we all do it. i dont know one person who doesnt. god sometimes my own family does it. god i get told a different story to what someone else gets told in my family that is terribal. the amount of times iv had people come to me and tell me something bad about another person but never anything good if i had a dollar for every time id be a million era by now! for sure!
i think ill stop there...maybe....
yeah another thing i hate being lied to. i dont lie to people hoping they wont lie to me....but it doesnt seem to be working that way so many people lie and lie to me even my own father does it. i also dont like being lied to straight to my face... i think iot happened today at least twice....
i foudn it rather funny how at the moment i trust one sertain person more then the person i should trust the most....odd but seems to be that way. i can talk to the person about anything and everything but not the person who i should be telling thing things to. i guess i just shut my mouth beacuse i dont to cause shit between us or what ever but who knows the minde works in weird ways.....
hmmm what else do i have to say.... i dont know it just seems like everyone is out to get me....i just think to much i think. i think to deep about things....i think about what could happen what might happen what wont happen what should happen what i want to happen....i dont know why but i always over think things and let them get to me. why do i let pety little tings build up and get to me? why dont i confront people? why dont i really tell people exactly what im thinking? why dont i always tell te full story? why? why? why? i just dont know any more. i just dont know what to do. but the only one that can fix this is me no one else can fix my life. i wish they could but i dont think it would work. i do wish i could hand my life over to someone and say hey fix this for me and give it back when you have thanks mate.
mate hmmm now thats a word....
see it feels like i dont know who my friends are any more, i dont know who to trust i dont know wo to tell what to, so i dont say anything at all. it just seems like that no matter what you say to someone they tell someone else its a bad chain, you tell someone thinking they wont tell another but they tell another thinking or knowing they wont tell but they still do tell an other... hmmmm i just dont get it why do people have to be so harsh. god why cant everything just be awesome....fuk me!! god damn!
see this is why i want to "run away" to tassie. no one really understands me here. no one cares. i wont to go to a completly different place start again be me have better friends have people around me who understand who listen who care who want to be there for me who want to care for me who love me for me. not people who pretend to be something they are not, not people who ignor me, not people who tlaking to me for 5 seconds and thats enough, not people woh dont care, not people who dont want to be around me, not people who dont give a fuck!!! geeez!
i just dont know what to do any more .....
HELP ME SOMEONE PLEASE!!!
help me to understnd whats going on
help me get this situation
dont dictate to me
dont tell me whats right for me
dont tell what i should and shouldnt do
dont tell me thats life youll live( coz not everyone does)
why cant some just tell me hey dude life is shit youll be ok im here for you ill listen to you i wont tell you what i think you should do ill just listen to what you have to say and be a friend give you abig hug when your done letting go done wiht your anger and say feel better? ok now do what you thinks best.
that would be just grand if things worked that way....
there are so many things that are confusing me right now and i wish everyone would just ifx their problems stop making them my problem and get over them self that would be great if you could do that would make tihngs easy on me right now. i dont nee this shit.
3 weeks and things look dim.....hmmm....:S
3 weeks no one knows about....
maybe 3 weeks no one will ever know about...who knows...
well i guess i fell better letting out all this shit sorry if you read this and thought what a loser god get over your self deal with it shit happens to the best of us....
well thats great...everyone opions are well should be valued but this is how i feel right now and i rather write it down then let out my feelings, anger in another way. i see this in a good way to release pain...
ok well i think i leave it at that for now might have more to say another day but thats all for now
:)
Carly
xoxo