Life
Things have been rough for me lately. My panic attacks are getting worse. I have them nearly daily now. I hate it. I feel so out of control and weak. I just sit here and worry when the next one will hit. I have tried to pray and think to myself. I've tried the positive reinforcement and it does help temporarly. Brad tries to help distract me and keep me calm but I feel like such a burden. I never used to have these and I am taking for granted how peaceful life really was then. It's gotten bad. Last night I ended up calling the E.R nurse to see if I could take a whole Ativan. Blah. Ativan is HORRIBLE for pregnant women but my O.B doc said once in a great while isn't going to do anything, just don't take it daily or even weekly. I have also tried the cold shower trick. I guess when you feel them coming on you are supposed to jump in a cold shower and the initial shock instantly gets you to snap out of your panic mode. I too did this last night but it was only half way sucessful. Maybe I just didn't do it soon enough. Anyway, so I have had enough with this and today I told myself enough was enough. I made some phone calls. I don't want to be on medication for this crap all my life. I have heard therapy works wonders for anxiety and panic attacks. I found one that deals with trauma and Post traumatic stress stuff and figured I'd give her a call. She informed me that there was hope and she can help me. I am willing to do whatever it takes at this point so I set up and appointment. I also heard about bio feedback and I'm going to call on that tomorrow. There comes a time when enough is enough and I reached that point. The O.B doctor also changed my medicine to get me over this bad hump until I get started on the therapy. Please pray for Brad and I...we need it.