been thinkin...and its hazardous
I cant take it n e more ...i hate it... i give up... this year has been the worst year ever and i am trying my hardest just to fight through it but i cant. the days where i cry myself to sleep have become endless. im surrounded by people constantly yet still manage to feel incredibly alone. in the beginning of the year i thought to myself that this year was going to be amazing, i had a boyfriend and i had great classes and my parents finally started letting me actually have a life... yet in the end ::: my grades slipped and i disappointed people i lost two friends and i lost my dad who was my biggest supporter...he helped me through everything and no matter how big of a mistake i made he always made me feel better. he was so incredibly important to me. and even if i did bad in school he would always tell me he was proud. ive tried so hard to distract myself from the fact that i miss him so much. but i have spent days in my house alone and its so hard. i just dont want to believe hes gone and everythings just gone downhill from there. i never felt this alone. and my mom and sister stick together like they always had so the feelings worse. its not fair, he was such a good man and he did whatever he could for his family, even if it hurt him. and this is what he gets. he had so many medications for everything and the one thing that killed him was what no one thought would. and need him more then n e thing.. . . .
just on a depression kick and wanted to get it out