The ecstasy... and the agony...
So, I started on a new scheme of work this past Monday (although it's still the same job), and for the whole of this week, I have to go in to work every day. I made arrangements for the kids to be taken care of on my usual days off, which were yesterday and today.
I would be lying if I said that I hadn't found the past 3 days engaging, and interesting, and enjoyable. Cos you know what? I really do enjoy doing what I do. The core portion, that is. And that has been the focus for the past 3 days. And it's so much of a rushing river which picks me up and carries me downhill that I sometimes get into work and forget that I have responsibilities to the kids until I step out again, some 10 hours later. And then wham! It all comes back and hits me in the face.
And I just feel so torn. Especially on those days when I come home and wonder how I could ever have thought that the kids could get along without me. Today, for example, I sent them off to school in the morning after reminding Chris that he had Maths enrichment class after school today. I came home with dinner in hand at 7.20 in the evening, and was told by Chris that actually, there was no Maths class after school.
I was really surprised, cos I had checked the schedule provided by the teacher just last week and again yesterday to make sure that there was indeed class. After questioning Chris, it turns out that his friend Samuel had told him there was no class so he didn't go for it. I was like, did you not bother to wait at the meeting point at the appointed time to make sure the teacher didn't turn up? Or did you not bother to double check by going up to the classroom where the classes are normally held to check that there was really no class? Or even more classically, did you not bother to CALL ME so that I could ask you all these questions??
My blood boils upon recounting this. I am sad that he missed his Maths enrichment, cos we haven't been able to find another class for him that suitable, and this is the only access he has to such enrichment now. And clearly, it being organized by the school means there are no make up lessons to be had. And I am angry that he was content to be so superficial that he didn't bother to query further what he was told. And you know what irks me most about this? It could all have been avoided had I just been there.
And now, after dinner, I am having to give Natalie her 听写 for tomorrow because there are just some things that only a mum can do.
Oh, the agony.
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