days are d r i f t i n away
have you ever felt like you don't belong? this is exactly how i feel right now. im so bad at expressing my feelings and i guess thats why most of the time i just bottle them up and put aside my feelings thinking that eventually they will go away. but the hardest part of all is that they dont go away..they seem to eat me up. i am constantly in bad moods..depressed and shiit. there seems to be no way out and i keep telling myself that in the end everything will be okay but i know it wont. i actually expressed some of my feelings in my english essay as gay as it sounds. loyola just isnt the place for me anymore. i constantly feel like i just shouldnt be there..i wish i could go bak 2yrs and re-decide which hs to go to because alot of the time i didnt make the right decision and i feel so guilty about it. anyways junior yr seems to be going pretty bad for me so far. i have about what seems 3 grls that i talk to and thats it. me and the rest of them have completly d r i f t e d and thats whats hurtin the most....that nothing can be done. its really amazing how can u be tight with some people for a certain amount of time and then outa nower...dont even talk or all u do is say hi. and the worst part is that usually thers drama to blame or somethin but in this case nothing or anyone is to blame.
i've been "sick" alot in the last 2 weeks but i think im using that as an excuse of my being so upset. i wishhh i could jus go back in time =(
angelica jenn and allison...i seriously dont kn0w what i'd do without u grls right now..youz are basically what keeps me going thru everyday. i think to myself that ill be fine..i pray that everyday goes by fast becus im jus so sick of puttin on a smile wen so much shiit is goin thru my head
caRii