(no subject)
In everything that I do, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I want to be very selfish right now, I want to tell Josh that I want him to come and see me, but he needs to work. So I have to keep my mouth shut and tell him that it's okay if he doesn't come and see me until the end of Feburary or even the beginning of March. I have to put on a fake smile and act like there's nothing wrong at all. I have to pretend that life is grand. I have to hide all my true feelings and put on an act.
So, life is kicking me in the ass. And there is nothing that I can do about it. I am living in a play, and I'm the willing victim, I have to deal with all that comes to me, alone. No one around to comfort me. No one to talk to. Because no one wants to listen to me... Why? They all have their own problems to deal with, and can't take anyones elses on. Therefore I would become a burden, and I can't put that on anyone's shoulders, including mine.
So, life is kicking me in the ass. And there is nothing that I can do about it. I am living in a play, and I'm the willing victim, I have to deal with all that comes to me, alone. No one around to comfort me. No one to talk to. Because no one wants to listen to me... Why? They all have their own problems to deal with, and can't take anyones elses on. Therefore I would become a burden, and I can't put that on anyone's shoulders, including mine.