Ah Puppies, God Love Them.
Enter: Sweet little Gunther Puppy
Enter: Aimee
Scene 1: Gunther Puppy jumps on Aimee, kisses, licks, bites a little. Aimee smells stink! This is not normal puppy breath stink! This is outrageously wretched and putrid and foul. THIS IS PUPPY SHIT! Gunther Puppy has stepped in own puppy shit, jumped on Aimee, and smeared paw prints throughout the house and on Aimee's favorite pink (yes, pink) Roxy sweatshirt. Truly Disgusting.
Scene 2: Aimee is in the kitchen happily baking for the Merry Holidays ahead. Christmas music is playing in the background as smells of gingerbread fill the house with Cheer. Husband CJ walks in from the garage, just home from work and gives Aimee a kiss. Aimee continues baking. Husband CJ gets some snacks from the fridge before dinner. Gunther Puppy comes into the kitchen. Looks at Aimee, looks at Husband CJ, PEES RIGHT ON THE LINOLEUM! (Let me add... the dog has not yet peed on the linoleum one time since we've owned him. But, it must have seemed like a good idea at the time. He's been potty trained since a week after we got him and has not peed on the floor in months!) Aimee and Husband CJ stand mouths agape, wondering how this horridness could happen to them!
Scene 3: Gunther Puppy poops on the welcome/shoe-wiping mat on the back deck. This is not an ordinary poop... this is a long, snake-like nasty pile of puppy love.
Scene 4: Gunther Puppy is in the kitchen with Aimee, she is baking some more. She feeds him a small ball of dough, he cherishes it. He gives her the "dough" eyes again. She refuses to feed him more, fearing an episode of explosive diarrhea on the welcome mat... Gunther Puppy goes outside for a frolic in the grass. Eats some grass. Drinks out of the whiskey barrel, comes back inside and pukes grass and whiskey barrel water on the kitchen floor and the hallway carpet. Gunther Puppy acts very ashamed, but Aimee is not mad. Aimee gags as she cleans up the nastiness. Husband Cj laughs because he is a fucker.
Enter: Aimee
Scene 1: Gunther Puppy jumps on Aimee, kisses, licks, bites a little. Aimee smells stink! This is not normal puppy breath stink! This is outrageously wretched and putrid and foul. THIS IS PUPPY SHIT! Gunther Puppy has stepped in own puppy shit, jumped on Aimee, and smeared paw prints throughout the house and on Aimee's favorite pink (yes, pink) Roxy sweatshirt. Truly Disgusting.
Scene 2: Aimee is in the kitchen happily baking for the Merry Holidays ahead. Christmas music is playing in the background as smells of gingerbread fill the house with Cheer. Husband CJ walks in from the garage, just home from work and gives Aimee a kiss. Aimee continues baking. Husband CJ gets some snacks from the fridge before dinner. Gunther Puppy comes into the kitchen. Looks at Aimee, looks at Husband CJ, PEES RIGHT ON THE LINOLEUM! (Let me add... the dog has not yet peed on the linoleum one time since we've owned him. But, it must have seemed like a good idea at the time. He's been potty trained since a week after we got him and has not peed on the floor in months!) Aimee and Husband CJ stand mouths agape, wondering how this horridness could happen to them!
Scene 3: Gunther Puppy poops on the welcome/shoe-wiping mat on the back deck. This is not an ordinary poop... this is a long, snake-like nasty pile of puppy love.
Scene 4: Gunther Puppy is in the kitchen with Aimee, she is baking some more. She feeds him a small ball of dough, he cherishes it. He gives her the "dough" eyes again. She refuses to feed him more, fearing an episode of explosive diarrhea on the welcome mat... Gunther Puppy goes outside for a frolic in the grass. Eats some grass. Drinks out of the whiskey barrel, comes back inside and pukes grass and whiskey barrel water on the kitchen floor and the hallway carpet. Gunther Puppy acts very ashamed, but Aimee is not mad. Aimee gags as she cleans up the nastiness. Husband Cj laughs because he is a fucker.