Lately... its been frustrating.
I like Live Journal because no one I know really reads it.
So here we go. Saturday night, 1 degree outside and I'm sitting in my room with the lovely heater on, two cats pawing to get in and debating on putting "Amelie" in to the DVD player.
I'm going to be 21 in a month. I should be excited. I'm not excited to join that club.
I'm also not excited to be joining the "I'm taking a semester off" club.
As always, everything is up in the air. And I am beginning to feel the same feeling I felt the last months before my parents moved. However, now its not as intense. I've realized things that should bug me don't affect me as much anymore.
Even though there will be no class attending the next couple of months its going to be just as stressful.
My sister will more than likely be moving to Chicago in March.. or April. I had plans to go to Europe for a semester and continue school. Now I'm not so sure that is possible without $3586083560328624 of student loan debt. I have to work full time to afford rent and have responsibilities toward my animals (ha).
So here are my options... take out student loans and live alone. depressed. hermit. continue to assistant manage Viktor Viktoria...
Move to chicago... not get resident tuition for a year and find another job. remain in cold weather.
THEN there the far fetched dream of "fuck it all" and move to Texas with the BFF of my life. Transfer school. be warm. learn about outside of Milwaukee. be warm. be closer to mom and dad. Make something my own for once. find a new job =(
I thought I would always have my sister with the rents being 38520836 miles away.
I've fallen yet again for someone. For the first time ever its something I've always dreamed of.. a friendship that forms into something more. I am very thankful to have relationships, of all kinds, in my life that have such an amazing connection. a lot of people go a whole life time with no connection with someone else.
And I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.
I'm in love and it's fucking everything up. kind of.
So here we go. Saturday night, 1 degree outside and I'm sitting in my room with the lovely heater on, two cats pawing to get in and debating on putting "Amelie" in to the DVD player.
I'm going to be 21 in a month. I should be excited. I'm not excited to join that club.
I'm also not excited to be joining the "I'm taking a semester off" club.
As always, everything is up in the air. And I am beginning to feel the same feeling I felt the last months before my parents moved. However, now its not as intense. I've realized things that should bug me don't affect me as much anymore.
Even though there will be no class attending the next couple of months its going to be just as stressful.
My sister will more than likely be moving to Chicago in March.. or April. I had plans to go to Europe for a semester and continue school. Now I'm not so sure that is possible without $3586083560328624 of student loan debt. I have to work full time to afford rent and have responsibilities toward my animals (ha).
So here are my options... take out student loans and live alone. depressed. hermit. continue to assistant manage Viktor Viktoria...
Move to chicago... not get resident tuition for a year and find another job. remain in cold weather.
THEN there the far fetched dream of "fuck it all" and move to Texas with the BFF of my life. Transfer school. be warm. learn about outside of Milwaukee. be warm. be closer to mom and dad. Make something my own for once. find a new job =(
I thought I would always have my sister with the rents being 38520836 miles away.
I've fallen yet again for someone. For the first time ever its something I've always dreamed of.. a friendship that forms into something more. I am very thankful to have relationships, of all kinds, in my life that have such an amazing connection. a lot of people go a whole life time with no connection with someone else.
And I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.
I'm in love and it's fucking everything up. kind of.