Fanfiction: Teen Wolf: Just Want You To Know
Just Want You To Know
Title: Just Want You To Know
Category: Teen Wolf
Genre: Angst/ Hurt/Comfort
Ratting: PG
Warning: Slash m/m.
Paring: Derek/Stile
Summary: Yet another Prompt. It's the anniversary of the Hale House fire and Derek tries to drown his sorrows (yes, I know they said werewolves can't get drunk, maybe it just takes a hell of a lot more alcohol than humans). Derek ends up drunk dialing Stiles and 'fessing up to everything he'd never admit while sober, e.g., he has feelings for Stiles. Bonus points if Derek is a weepy drunk.
Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing
A/N: I wasn't going to write any more prompts or anything till I finished my BB but this one wouldn't leave me alone so I had to write it. I am forgoing sleep for this. >o< This story as per-usual got away from me. Special thanks to Laraneia for betaing!
Just Want You To Know
Derek groans as the clock strikes midnight, he hates this day, he's hated this day every year for the last six years and this one is no different. It rips him apart every time, a reminder of how alone he is in this world. It’s his own fault he's alone, he pushes everyone away, has to, he can't let anyone close again. He let Kate in and she'd taken his world apart in one day.
He doesn't want to be alone, despite what everyone thinks of him he hates it, it just reminds him that his entire family is dead. He's kind of made a new family with his teenage pups, but they are too wrapped up in their own lives to notice how lonely he is. Scott still mooning over Allison, Jackson still trying to win everyone’s approval except his because he's suddenly got a problem with authority and has to have his ego checked constantly, and Lydia is too busy shopping and plotting to get Jackson back.
Stiles is the only one that seems to notice, the kid doesn't miss much. After he became Alpha the brunet stayed away for maybe a week before showing up on his doorstep all awkward limbs and smiles. Despite the fear he could smell, the quirky teen had dodged under his arm and walked into what at one point was a beautiful, cheerful family room, now only a hollow shell, a harsh reminder. Derek had growled and demanded he left, only to have a container of wings shoved at him, a bribe for werewolf information.
After that it became a regular thing, the teen always brought food when he came, whether it was to get information from him or just laze about the dilapidated house. When Stiles first just started hanging around he'd been annoyed with the constant talking and movement, nothing was ever silent or still with the brunet but after a while when he wasn't there he started to miss him. He started looking forward to the quirky teen’s weekly visits, he caught himself wishing he would visit more.
He growled, rolling out of bed, he didn't want to think about Stiles, he didn't deserve to. Stiles was pure and smart and nice and deserved someone who wasn't damaged, someone just as pure and loyal as he was, not a werewolf with emotional baggage. He whimpered a little as an image of Laura came to his mind, she would have loved Stiles, would have instantly wrapped her arms around him and never let go. They would have been beautiful together, but that would never come to pass and he felt guilty; knowing he was the reason why. He felt guiltier still because a little part of him was glad she couldn't have him, the part of himself he was trying to keep locked away, the part of him that wanted the teen for himself.
He hates himself for that feeling; he can just see his mother scolding him, telling him to share even as she smiles fondly at him. He missed her most. She'd been human, fragile but stronger than anyone. She ran the household with tight reins and a gentle hand, no one crossed her twice, most were smart enough not to even try it once. She always smelled like vegetables and flowers from the garden that had once flourished behind the old Hale house. It had burned up just like everything else.
He clenches his fist, claws digging into rough palms as he stomps downstairs and into what used to be a kitchen, once full of happy memories, now just another reminder. This entire house, his home was a taint on all the good memories he had of his once happy family. Banging open cabinets, it takes him a few minutes to find what he’s looking for, two boxes filled with bottles with high alcohol content and quality liquor that he'd confiscated from Jackson when the blonde had tried to find out just how much it took to get a werewolf drunk. Sometimes he really regretted giving the idiot the bite.
He wasn't one to drink normally, no point; it took a lot to get a werewolf drunk, but spending this day in this house he was going to need to get drunk to deal with the despair he felt. Taking both boxes, one in each hand, he walked into the burnt husk of his living-room and slumped down heavily onto the old couch that smelled of rot and mould from being left in the dilapidated house. Taking a deep breath, he could just detect the slightest hint of Stiles from where he'd sat eating cheese doodles and scribbling notes just three days before while Derek had been pretending to read on the other end of the couch, really he was just Stiles watching. Pushing that thought away he opened the first bottle his hand touched and started drinking in fast gulps, getting half the bottle down before he slowed.
The whiskey weighed heavily on his tongue, reminding him of his first drink. Laura had dragged him to a party claiming they needed to blend better, to mingle with the normal folk; it of course had nothing to do with the cute foreign-exchange student that she'd been making eyes at for the last three weeks. Immediately after getting there she’d abandoned him, going in search of her prey, leaving him to fend for himself. Wandering around aimlessly he'd ended up in the kitchen where a pretty blonde had shoved a red plastic cup into his hand, winking, before taking a sip from her own cup.
He'd sniffed at it hesitantly, the smell burning his nose, before taking a tentative sip and immediately spitting it out; much to the girls amusement as she'd dissolved into giggles before wandering away. Eventually he drank some more of it, sipping at it the rest of the evening as he leaned against the wall, people-watching as he waited for his sister. Several hours later she found him, complaining about his lack of social skills as she drank from his still half full cup, not fazed at all by the taste.
Shortly after that they left heading back home, when they arrived their father was waiting with a frown on his face and arms crossed, tapping his foot against the ground. Laura made a joke about him not having to wait up as she swept into the house pointedly ignoring their father’s growl of annoyance. Derek had been about to follow her in, head down but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. That night his father had given him a speech about what it is to be a man and the responsibility that came with that, underage drinking was not acceptable, he needed to set a good example if he was to be the next alpha. He didn't drink again till the fire took away his family.
He threw the bottle in his hand at the wall, hardly satisfied as it shattered; littering the floor with tiny sparkling shards, the small amount of brown liquor left in the bottle sliding down the wall, leaving rivets in the soot. Picking up another bottle at random, he starts drinking again. He thinks about cleaning up the shards of glass so that when Stiles comes again he won’t end up hurting himself on one of them but pushes the thought away, not wanting to move as he finishes the bottle and goes for another.
He's sitting there for an hour just drinking and trying to block out the memories, they hurt too much and make his eyes sting. He misses them, he didn't know he could miss his family so much till they were all taken away, leaving him a lone wolf. He's not a lone wolf now though, can't be, if he left the pups alone they'd just get themselves killed and he'd feel the guilt of that on top of the guilt he feels over his family.
They've all wormed their way into his life without him even knowing. Danny and Stiles too, despite not being werewolves. They make him miss his blood just as much as they heal some of the wounds left behind, and despite himself he has a new family. He feels guilty for it, like he's betraying his parents and sister and the others by moving on and wrapping himself into this new odd pack. Deep down he know his family would want him to be happy, would be happy for him, but it doesn't stop the guilt.
The two humans of the pack seemed to have wormed their way in the most and he's still not sure how Danny became part of the pack, one day he was just there and that was it. Danny reminds him a Laura in ways he can't even begin to describe, he's just like her, ignoring his commands as Alpha just the same as she would have if he'd taken over instead of her. It hurts some times to be around him with how like her he is, but it's also nice.
He'd been jealous when Danny had just been part of the group one day, arm wrapped around Stiles' shoulders like it belonged there. It took a while for him to stop growling at the teen, Stiles telling him to stop being a sour wolf multiple times and accusing him of pouting. He'd growled at the brunet who'd shrunk away from him but still stuck his tongue out. He'd been a 'sour wolf' as the quirky teen had dubbed him over the goalie till he found out from Stiles' chattering that he harbored feelings for Jackson. Knowing he wasn't interested in Stiles as more than a friend had calmed him.
Stiles, Stiles, Stiles. He couldn't get the teen out of his head, he knew what was happening, knew what this feeling was but he wanted to ignore it. He didn't dare to hope that he could be happy. He didn't want to lose even more, he wasn't sure he had anything left to lose. Stiles though, Stiles wouldn't hurt him not intentionally any way. He needs Stiles, needs to keep him close and never let him go, fighting that feeling at every turn, but tonight he doesn't want to fight it.
Looking down, he noticed the now-empty bottles littering the floor and couch, could feel the inebriation, he didn't realize he'd already drank that much. Opening another bottle he took a long sip, still thinking about Stiles. He needed to talk to him, now, like right now. Sluggishly he got up, only wobbling a little bit as he made the long journey up to his room in search of his phone. Finding it under his pillow he sat on the edge of the bed before looking for the name he needed.
“Hello?” He heard after the first ring, a very familiar voice that was most definitely not Stiles. “Derek, what do you want?” Scott asked and he groaned in annoyance.
“Nothing.” He said gruffly taking another long swig from the bottle dangling between his legs.
“Then why did you call me?” Scott demands, clearly annoyed, the faint hint of a growl in his voice.
“I'm your Alpha I can call you any time I want.” Derek growled back, Scott misses the slight slur to the words, still half asleep.
“Did you call me just to assert your dominance?” Scott asked, confused, the born wolf could just imagine the curly haired teen blinking sleepily as he tilted his head to the side.
“Yes.” Derek said before hanging up glaring at his phone, this time double checking to make sure he was calling the right number. He tapped his foot, swinging the bottle as he waited, the ringing shrill in his ear. He growled when he got no answer, taking another gulp before calling again. He let his claw sink into the mattress as his call is ignored again; finishing the last of the bottle he wobbled back down stairs phone in hand. Taking up residence on the couch, he grabs the second to last bottle before calling again.
- 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 -
The first time his phone rings he ignores it, he’s in bed exhausted and he has absolutely no desire to talk to anyone. Anyone! Whether it be Lydia finally realizing her everlasting love for him, or Danny coming to terms with how overwhelmingly attractive he is, he doesn't want to talk to anyone. He's bone-tired from no sleep the night before, trying to get Scott a passing grade was hard work, he paid no attention what so ever, he just kept texting away leaving Stiles to bang his head against the desk in despair. Not only did he not get to any sleep but then he had a full day of classes followed by lacrosse practice where coach made him run suicides for calling him cupcake, his father really should have known better then to tell him about that. He was all set to go home and take a nice long nap, instead he ended up filing papers at the station because the secretary was out and they were having an inspection at the end of the week. So really you couldn't blame him for ignoring the annoying Dr. Jones ring tone he'd recently added to annoy all of his werewolves.
He sighs in relief when it finally stops and his room is once again blissfully silent, the only sounds being the hum of his fan and the cricket orchestra down in his yard. He groans loudly burying his head in a pillow when not even a minute later it’s ringing again. After a few minutes it stops again and a minute passes and he thinks that they have finally gotten the point only to let out a small scream of frustration into his pillow when it starts playing once again. Hastily getting up he becomes tangled in his sheet and goes tumbling down off his bed, the contents of his night stand landing around him as he just lays there, half on half off the bed, the phone silent again.. He blinks blurry eyed at his clock letting out another groan as three twenty four flashes at him tauntingly as 'Dr. Jones' play in his ear from where his phone had landed and he’s grabbing it, frustrated.
“WHAT!”
- 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 -
Derek is pleased as punch when Stiles finally picks up the phone even if he is yelling at him, normally he would growl and threaten the brunet but right now that is the last thing on his mind. He isn't sure exactly what he wants to tell Stiles, can't pin point a good place to start so he stalls. “Did I wake you?”
“Did you wake me?!” Stiles says, anger clear in his voice as it steadily rises. “Of course not, this is when I normally get up to start my day; you know, early bird gets the worm.” He says sarcastically before a muffled groan leaves him, Derek can hear him trying to untangle himself from the blankets. “What do you want Derek?” Stiles asks when he's finally situated, resigned to the fact that he will not be getting any more sleep till the werewolf allows it.
“I just want to talk.” Derek says, sipping from the bottle.
“You called me just to talk?” Stiles asks, his tone one of complete bewilderment.
“Yes.” Derek replies, listening to the other’s steady heartbeat through the phone.
“To me?” Stiles asked, confused, his world suddenly upside down.
“Yes.” Derek growled, rolling his eyes.
“Are you sure?” Stiles asks.
“Stiles” Derek growls again, using the same tone he used when he was giving commands as Alpha, a clear warning.
“Okay, okay.” The brunet says and the werewolf just knows he's waving his hands around as he says it, boy can't keep still.
“What did you want to talk about?” Stiles asks, sighing.
“There's something I need to tell you.” Derek says, pausing, contemplating.
“Well, what do you want to tell me?” Stiles asks, the creak of the bed loud over the phone as he leans against the wooden frame.
“I, I don't know where to start, there is so much.” The werewolf groans out, words still slurred.
“Are you alright? You sound weird” Stiles asks, feeling a little silly. All he seems to be doing is asking questions, but that is pretty normal, it all just seems surreal at this point in time.
“I'm fine...” Derek says, letting his words trail off as he takes another sip from the near empty bottle before speaking once again. “There are things, things I can't normally say, things you need to know.”
“Are you drunk?” Stiles asks. “I didn't think werewolves could get drunk, but you sound like you had one too many.”
“Stiles, just shut up and listen.” Derek growls, he needs to get this out, pausing to pull the words together. “You're pack, you're family, you all are. Scott, Danny, Jackson, Lydia even Allison. If you ever tell anyone I said that I will rip your throat out.” He threatened without the normal heat behind the words. “You though, you're more than that.” He says, pausing to concentrate on the other heartbeat to make sure he's still on the other end of the phone, the teen silent for once, still as his heart beat wildly.
“You're special.” He says, pausing, feeling overly emotional as he take another drink. “You're funny, and smart, and loyal. How more people don't realize how amazing you are is beyond me but I'm glad they don't, don't want them trying to take you away.” He says, his voice possessive as he opens the last bottle.
“I want you. I want you all to myself. I try and ignore this feeling, the desire every time I see you to press you against the wall and take you, mark you mine.” Derek says, a little groan leaving his mouth as he hears the teen gasp on the other side of the phone, the noises that mouth would produce if he just gave in to his impulses. “I think I might be falling in love with you.” He admits.
Derek growls as he hears the phone drop and the line goes dead, feeling overwhelming sadness creep in. He lost everything else; he shouldn't have been stupid enough to think that things would turn out good for once. Smashing the bottle against the far wall, he howls a terrible, mournful, anguish filled noise. Looking around the room he can still see the fire that had engulfed his home so long ago, he hates it, needs something to focus on other than the pain coursing through him.
Swiping at his eyes as they blur he makes up his mind, grabbing a sledgehammer from the other room. He'd been planning to do this for weeks and now seemed the perfect time. Raising the top-heavy tool he crashed it into the closest wall.
- 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 -
As soon as the phone slips from his hand sending pieces flying he's up, hastily pulling on clothing, putting in the effort to make sure they're clean, werewolf sense of smell is way too strong. Scrubbing at his face with the heel of his hand he scrambles around, looking for his shoes and car keys. It takes a bit of trying but he finally finds what he is looking for, one shoe under his bed, the other by the door, his keys are in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub. Grabbing a jacket he sneaks out, making as little noise as possible as he gets into his jeep and speeds off.
Stiles is going way over the speed limit, if his father found out he'd never drive again but he refuses to slow down. His heart is pounding way too fast, blood rushing in a way that makes him even more jittery than normal. Derek, Derek fucking Hale had just admitted to having feelings for him, the man he'd been secretly pining after. His world was spinning.
He slowed a little as he turned on to the dirt road that lead to the Hale property, not wanting to hit any animals or werewolves that might be lurking around the woods. Parking his jeep by the only other car haphazardly parked in basically the front yard, he breathed deeply trying to calm himself unsuccessfully. The loud banging he can hear from within the house has him on edge but he's not about to let it keep him away.
- 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 -
Derek doesn't hear the Jeep coming down the road, the loud banging noises he’s making as he puts a large hole in the wall leaving him with ringing in his ears. He doesn't hear the door creak open or the footsteps approaching, too focused on the task at hand, dust and debris flying everywhere. Doesn't notice his name being called over and over again, he does however notice when something hits him between the shoulder-blades.
Growling, annoyed at being disturbed, he spins around dropping the sledgehammer to threaten the intruder. He stops, face slack as he sees Stiles standing there awkwardly, wringing his hands in a nervous fashion. The werewolf opens his mouth to say something; he doesn't know what, mouth suddenly dry but doesn't get the chance to.
Stiles is on him in a minute, wrapping lanky arms around him, pulling him close as he tilts his head to kiss the older man. Derek is surprised, when the line went dead he'd though it was rejection, this was so much better than rejection. Kissing back he took over wrapping his arms just as tightly around the quirky brunet, never wanting to let go. He thinks maybe this anniversary won't be so awful after all.
- 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 -
END