(no subject)
The party was lovely and the fireworks were spectacular. Thank you for the invite Kuukaku, most appreciated. It was a pleasure meeting lots of new faces. Or, more accurately, putting names to faces I've already met here on the journal. If I didn't get to say 'hello' to you the other night, maybe we'll get to meet another time.
The party was boring as hell. What's with these people anyway? Not that I've ever really been one for parties I suppose. Something about so many people and all those eyes on you. Silly. How very unlike me.
I've been wondering that a lot lately. Wondering just what IS like me. It's crazy. Been living as myself for a good 27 years now and never really known who I was? Sounds like the kinda stuff you talk to a shrink about. Maybe my new roomie will be put to good use afterall. Ha.
To be honest those types always kind of unnerve me. They think they KNOW all about you. Know what you're thinking, try to get inside your head. Long as he doesn't pull any of that bullshit on me. People don't wanna see your dirty laundry. People are always so quick to judge and quick to hate. So I don't feel bad if I hate in return.
I thought that maybe... maybe some people were different. You meet someone who doesn't fit the mold; someone who... changes the way you see things... but in the end, it turns out they were just like all the others. Still want nothin' to do with you. Still look at you like you're trash... Laugh at you as you get closer and closer to the edge...
I'm done trusting people. Not that I ever did much of that in the first place.
Why is it then, that I keep telling myself not to live in the past? The past doesn't matter. It doesn't. I don't apologize for things long past. So why is she... why is she the only one I've ever really... wanted to apologize to?
The party was boring as hell. What's with these people anyway? Not that I've ever really been one for parties I suppose. Something about so many people and all those eyes on you. Silly. How very unlike me.
I've been wondering that a lot lately. Wondering just what IS like me. It's crazy. Been living as myself for a good 27 years now and never really known who I was? Sounds like the kinda stuff you talk to a shrink about. Maybe my new roomie will be put to good use afterall. Ha.
To be honest those types always kind of unnerve me. They think they KNOW all about you. Know what you're thinking, try to get inside your head. Long as he doesn't pull any of that bullshit on me. People don't wanna see your dirty laundry. People are always so quick to judge and quick to hate. So I don't feel bad if I hate in return.
I thought that maybe... maybe some people were different. You meet someone who doesn't fit the mold; someone who... changes the way you see things... but in the end, it turns out they were just like all the others. Still want nothin' to do with you. Still look at you like you're trash... Laugh at you as you get closer and closer to the edge...
I'm done trusting people. Not that I ever did much of that in the first place.
Why is it then, that I keep telling myself not to live in the past? The past doesn't matter. It doesn't. I don't apologize for things long past. So why is she... why is she the only one I've ever really... wanted to apologize to?