The dangers of good technique
I don't wear out my voice.
It's work . . . but it's so easy. I don't want to quit. I had to leash myself to leave the practic rooms after an hour, cause it was 10:30 and I needed to go home.
Very successful lesson with Dr. Taylor today, at least on that front. Unfortunately somewhere near the beginning he asked me about my summer plans and I had to divulge my lack thereof, and so we spent a lot of time talking about getting motivated and doing stuff, and there was some castigation. Well, I did say I want to carry the discipline and momentum home with me. And I forgot to mention I want to work on a fall recital. Mostly I got chewed out over the summer issue, my not having some forms xeroxed, and my lack of recording equipment (which I ordered from Amazon.) I give myself pluses for having looked up both the Operafestival di Roma and the vague competition about which he forwarded an email. I also give myself pluses for doing a great job in the performing class yesterday. He mentioned that on the positive side, and also that he can tell I'm really working with the technique stuff he's given me so far. It's just that I know he's disappointed that I don't pursue things with more focus.
In Office Space terms, I'm only wearing the minimum pieces of flair, and it saddens him. I'm not sure how well I can deal with that, but there it is. I need to get some things together this weekend, and maybe even in the mail.
Gah. Now I've gone from all elevated and high and happy with myself, and jumped on the train to negativeland. OK, so there are lots of things I can do to work on this.
What I failed to tell Dr. Taylor--I guess because I felt it wouldn't be acceptable to him--is that I would really like to spend most or all of my summer at HOME, clinging to my GRAHAM. That's pretty important to me right now. But it doesn't mean I won't be able to do competitions, or chase short summer program work.
I need to not get mired in other people's problems. I really need to stay clear of other people's stuff, emotionally speaking. I need to handle my own stuff, too. I need to focus on good things, and on doing more good things so that I can feel good about the new good things. Um.
Yeah.
This whole success thing is scary and weird and unsettling and very dangerous.
For more reasons than just staying in the practice room too long.
It's work . . . but it's so easy. I don't want to quit. I had to leash myself to leave the practic rooms after an hour, cause it was 10:30 and I needed to go home.
Very successful lesson with Dr. Taylor today, at least on that front. Unfortunately somewhere near the beginning he asked me about my summer plans and I had to divulge my lack thereof, and so we spent a lot of time talking about getting motivated and doing stuff, and there was some castigation. Well, I did say I want to carry the discipline and momentum home with me. And I forgot to mention I want to work on a fall recital. Mostly I got chewed out over the summer issue, my not having some forms xeroxed, and my lack of recording equipment (which I ordered from Amazon.) I give myself pluses for having looked up both the Operafestival di Roma and the vague competition about which he forwarded an email. I also give myself pluses for doing a great job in the performing class yesterday. He mentioned that on the positive side, and also that he can tell I'm really working with the technique stuff he's given me so far. It's just that I know he's disappointed that I don't pursue things with more focus.
In Office Space terms, I'm only wearing the minimum pieces of flair, and it saddens him. I'm not sure how well I can deal with that, but there it is. I need to get some things together this weekend, and maybe even in the mail.
Gah. Now I've gone from all elevated and high and happy with myself, and jumped on the train to negativeland. OK, so there are lots of things I can do to work on this.
What I failed to tell Dr. Taylor--I guess because I felt it wouldn't be acceptable to him--is that I would really like to spend most or all of my summer at HOME, clinging to my GRAHAM. That's pretty important to me right now. But it doesn't mean I won't be able to do competitions, or chase short summer program work.
I need to not get mired in other people's problems. I really need to stay clear of other people's stuff, emotionally speaking. I need to handle my own stuff, too. I need to focus on good things, and on doing more good things so that I can feel good about the new good things. Um.
Yeah.
This whole success thing is scary and weird and unsettling and very dangerous.
For more reasons than just staying in the practice room too long.