(no subject)

[carebears78912]

my week has been up and down. monday i hung out with matt, victoria, aaron, gina, ben, and chantelle so that was really fun, i havnt hung out with that many people in for a while, wait cept matts party. that realy made my day, thank you matt!!! again!! you made my day, i just said that. i dont remember what i did tuesday cept i didnt go to school. uhmm oh ya i cant see my boyfrined for a month so that realy pised me off and got me frusterated. i already havent seen him in 3 weeks so thats just great. and the only thing i look forward to in a week is seeing him. blah.. today at school in computers me and katie were looking up ways to kil yourself and a list of 100 ways came up and they were soo funny, like one was drown your self in your pee, or shove a knife up your ass. haha who in there right mind would do that. wow i have no life. oh and the up of my week was i became friends with lauren and starr again, that was realy sweet but i wasnt expecting that but hey sweet.im going thro my poems right now since i have nothing better to do. heres a poem i wrote a year ago...

"voices"
i grab the sharp razor
and put it on my skin
i feel the pain shoot thro my body
my nightmare now begins
i start to hear voices
and see things that arnt realy there
the voices tell me that im unloved
and that no one realy cares
they say i should cut
i deserve to feel the pain
so i take the razor blade
and cut deep with in my vien
the pain is over powering
i drop to my knees
the voices wont go away
they want me to bleed
blood is all around me
in the puddle of i see you smile
i relized you never realy cared
so the voices were worth while
- me

woo theres a poem by me...depressing? god i h*te having no life. every day is liek the same f*cking thing....ahhhhhh im going to go f*cking insane!! pain pain pain pain pain pain pain