Change of Heart
I fucking love 90s rock. Grunge gets me singin', not slit wrist-y, and So Cal-inflected pop/punk makes me wistful of home and grade school. But yanno, I've always hated The Offspring. Dexter Holland's grating, whiny vocals1 make me want to punch a baby. Weirdly, I just now heard a live marching band version of The Kids Aren't Alright2 and loved it. I want more of it. Now I want the Husky marching band to cover Take It Like a Man or maybe Gotta Get Away. Come to think of it, maybe pretty much every song by The Offspring could be improved by being played by a marching band instead of the real enchilada. I mean, why can't we just fire the whole damn band and bring in Coastline Community College's marching minstrels3?
Wait, what am I thinking? These are the same assholes behind Too Fly (For a White Guy) and Why Don't You Get a Job? Seriously, keep those steel drums4 out of my rock music and I'll keep listening to The Get Up Kids5 instead of you jokers.
1 I loved Saves the Day, so clearly, I cherry-pick to my delight.
2 Which just reminds me of the far superior (if minuscule) song The Kids Are All Wrong by the far superior Lagwagon.
3 Do they even have any? (I doubt it.) Who cares? Coastline Community College's non-existent marching band is still better than The Offspring!
4 I'm convinced that steel drums pay no favors to quality rock music until you prove to me otherwise.
5 Here's to opening ye olde cd books way up. Oh dear, what have I done to my own perceived past coolness?
I guess I'm turning 30 after all. I like it when Allmusic deems a band that I like "literate"; it makes me feel smarter. Less so when that band is Saves the Day, but whatever. Let's not nitpick.
Wait, what am I thinking? These are the same assholes behind Too Fly (For a White Guy) and Why Don't You Get a Job? Seriously, keep those steel drums4 out of my rock music and I'll keep listening to The Get Up Kids5 instead of you jokers.
1 I loved Saves the Day, so clearly, I cherry-pick to my delight.
2 Which just reminds me of the far superior (if minuscule) song The Kids Are All Wrong by the far superior Lagwagon.
3 Do they even have any? (I doubt it.) Who cares? Coastline Community College's non-existent marching band is still better than The Offspring!
4 I'm convinced that steel drums pay no favors to quality rock music until you prove to me otherwise.
5 Here's to opening ye olde cd books way up. Oh dear, what have I done to my own perceived past coolness?
I guess I'm turning 30 after all. I like it when Allmusic deems a band that I like "literate"; it makes me feel smarter. Less so when that band is Saves the Day, but whatever. Let's not nitpick.