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Today's Card: The Three of Swords
The three of swords indicates a period of sorrow. Sometimes it is
hard to remove ourselves from a situation that we know is not for our
highest good. Three of swords reminds us that grief is a part of
life at times, but don't allow grief to overcome joy. Learn to work
through grief, not through avoidance, or postponing the inevitable,
but by working with it. Grief is a healing, cleansing process, and
by working with it rather than against it we allow ourselves the
necessary complete healing. Allow emotions to flow, express them,
bring them out so that the process can complete. When
grief/anger/sorrow are left unchecked they smolder like a fire and
eventually flare up again. The best way to deal with sorrow is to
let it run its course and burn itself out.
Three of Swords reminds us to remember that the natural cycle of life
brings renewal. Remember that past sorrows have brought you greater
strength. Remember a friend or person in need today who could use
extra support and encouragement and provide it to them.
katzenjammer321 : hi
Jenkins : how's it going?
katzenjammer321 : alright i guess
katzenjammer321 : dont know how much longer shaun and i will last
Jenkins : that sucks
katzenjammer321 : we only get to see eachother on fridays and yesterday he never even called
Jenkins : when did you last talk to him?
katzenjammer321 : last night he finally called me at 11pm. Told me he was leaving his sisters graduation party. I told him i feel like hes pushing me further and further away, and he said well maybe we should talk about it tomorrow....then he said i love you darling and said bye.
katzenjammer321 : i understand he works a lot and needs some time to himself but fuck, he cant give me 2 mins on the phone...
katzenjammer321 : I dont know anything anymore
Jenkins : well why not wait until he calls today to talk to him
katzenjammer321 : i am. I always wait....
Jenkins : hmm. well maybe you should end the relationship then
Jenkins : 'cus it seems to me....like you need to be with someone who can be there with you all the time. And it doesn't seem like Shaun is that person foour y
katzenjammer321 : yea so im left with nothing. not even a once a week visit. I'm dying....i crave affection. Its terrible...i feel like im not enough. I just dont understand.
Jenkins : then you need to be with someone who will be with you all the time and give you the affection you need. And since Shaun isn't that person, then you need to end it, instead of being misreable and in pain.
katzenjammer321 : i dont need someone who will be with me all the time. I can't get over how happy i was and i dont understand why it had to change. I was content with seeing him once a week - when it seemed like he was excited to see me. Once a week is fine - when he gives me affection and makes me feel special. i hate this because i dont know if its going to get better, because if it is then its worth it and i dont care if he has his selfish phase as long as it dosent have to do with him liking/seeing another girl and hes still commited.... If not then im not sure when to end it because i dont want to regret ending it....
Jenkins : how long have you two been together?
katzenjammer321 : 7months
Jenkins : if, after seven months things suddenly change....it's not a 'selfish' phase. Usually around 6, 7 months is when people usually know if they're content with the relationship their in. And if they're not, then they look for an 'escape' Whether it's spending more time playing video games, hanging out with friends. But I'll tell you this..once this happens...9 times out of 10 it doesn't get better
Jenkins : by 7 months...if he truly loves you...he should want to spend more time with you. Instead of blowing you off, spending more time with his friends or ignoring you and playing games when you're over at his place
katzenjammer321 :
Jenkins : I'm sorry...but it's the truth.
Jenkins :
Jenkins : are you there?
katzenjammer321 : yes
Jenkins : what are you doing?
katzenjammer321 : stareing at the screen
Jenkins : brb
Jenkins : I'm back. so what are you thinking about over there?
katzenjammer321 : about what im going to do if i do break up with him
Jenkins : what do you want to do?
katzenjammer321 : I dont know. I know i will be depressed and want affection. I can either block it out and forget about relationships all together....or find the affection that i need somewhere....both options are shitty because i will still want more.
Jenkins : well I don't think you're ever going to be able to block it out and forget about relationships all together. So in the meantime....until you find that person, what you can try doing is finding things to do that will make yourself happy
katzenjammer321 : what will make me happy is having sex. Maybe i should just become a slut. Everyone else seems to enjoy it at times.
Jenkins : please don't do that!
Jenkins : becoming a slut is not something that is going to make you happy. it's going to make you feel worse because you're going to feel that...that's all people will see in you is sex. and you have so much more to offer than just sex. Believe me when I say that.
katzenjammer321 : promiscuios sex made u feel better at some point dident it?
Jenkins : only while I was having sex. when I wasn't I felt like absolute crap. and that lead to a lot of problems, that I'm now starting to deal with when it comes to trust and not wanting to get hurt
katzenjammer321 : maybe that is all i have to offer. Shaun sure dosent see anything in me now...after 7 months
Jenkins : that's not all that you have to offer. Shaun just doesn't know what he has.
Jenkins : I mean...when you and I were together as a couple....was that all we did? was have sex? no. we did lots of other things, when we spent time together we did lots of things, sex was just something good that we had, but everything else was great.
Jenkins : we would go out to dinner, play video games, hang out with your friends, play with Fiona
Jenkins : heck if we hadn't broken up we would have gone to a concert together
Jenkins : so...please..don't sell yourself short. You're a wonderful person and you deserve to have someone who will see that in you. I did, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one who will. I mean you have friends who comment on your LJ about how great a person you are
Jenkins : so just because some dumbass doesn't treat you well, doesn't mean you should change who you are!
(Tom Petty)
It’s time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It’s time to move on, it’ s time to get going
Broken skyline, movin’ through the airport
She’s an honest defector
Conscientious objector
Now her own protector
Broken skyline, which way to love land
Which way to something better
Which way to fo rgiveness
Which way do, I go
It’s time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going
Sometime later, getting the words wrong
Wasting the meaning, and losing the rhyme
Nauseous adrenaline
Like breakin’ up a dog fight
Like a deer in the headlights
Frozen in real time
I’m losing my mind
It’s time to move on, time to get going
Wh at lies ahead I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going