These ficathons are kicking my ass!
All right, this is late, and since I lost the email that said all the information, I just know that what was requested was a Wedgie demon terrozing the scoobies post-chosen, that included Xander, Faith, Dawn and Willow. Xander was supposed to be disturbed by what Willow and Dawn were wearing, and Faith would not be wearing any underwear. So, here it is:
(Oh, and I haven't updated in over a month now. I think that's a new record.)
"Xander!"
The one eyed carpenter was walking slowly, legs spread apart with his own hand supporting his lower back. What was most notable, however, was the fact the waistband of his boxers was pulled up over his head. He walked into the boardroom where Dawn, Faith and Willow already sat.
"Xander!" Dawn repeated. "What happened to you? We were supposed to meet half an hour ago!" she paused slightly, staring incredulously at his boxers. "And did you just happen to forget that you aren’t in the third grade?"
Willow ran up to Xander. "Xander, are okay?" she lowered her voice slightly. "Did you and Andrew get into another fight?"
"No, and what part of ‘Never mention that again’ did you not get?" He sighed. "Well, I was standing in the bathroom when -"
"Nice undies Harris." Faith cut in, leaning behind him and staring at his Spiderman covered boxer.
"When that happened." he finished.
Willow and Dawn burst out laughing. "Who did that to you?" Willow laughed, reaching forward to touch them.
"Don’t touch! Touching makes them...go deeper."
"Xander, how on Earth did this happen?" Dawn giggled.
"Like I said, I was standing in the bathroom, minding my own business, when I heard this laughing. It was some sort of demon, I think. I looked in the mirror, and before I could do anything...it was just too fast...and I mean, I can’t get it out! Every time I touch it, the pain just gets so much worse."
For a moment the girls were silent, and then they all burst out laughing again.
"Come on, this is serious!" Xander shouted. "There is a Wedgie Demon out there terrorizing innocent people, and I can’t sit down!"
Willow covered her mouth with a failed attempt to smother her laughter. "All right, all right, I’m calm. We’ll hit the books and try to find your Wedgie Demon." she pulled down some books from a shelf and sat down at the table. "So Xander...Spiderman?"
"They were on sale and they were the only ones left, end of discussion!" Xander shouted, sending Dawn into another fit of giggles. He turned to her and gave her a pleading look.
"I’m sorry, I am! It’s just, come on Xander, a Wedgie Demon? Is that even a real thing? Cause it doesn’t seem so scary." Dawn couldn’t help but smile.
"Oh, I’m sure you’d still be laughing if this happened to you." Xander snapped.
Immediately, Dawn’s laughter stopped and her eyes widened. "Do you think it would? And then everybody could see my..." she shook her head vigorously. "Well, how are we going to kill that thing?"
Faith snorted. "What’s the matter twerp, you been dipping into B’s naughty underwear drawer or something?" When she noticed Xander raising an eyebrow at her, she rolled her eyes. "It was a joke Xander, I wouldn’t know if she has one."
"No, I’m just saying, wedgies are bad, and I really don’t want this demon going around causing innocent people pain." As if on cue, there was a gust of wind, and an unseen force lifted Dawn’s underwear up over her head. She shrieked, waving her hands around in an attempt to hit whoever had done this to her.
"Where is it? Where did it go?" Willow looked around anxiously. "Xander, you never mentioned this thing was invisible!"
"Oh gee, must have slipped my mind when my underwear started cutting off my circulation!" Xander turned to Dawn. "Dawnie, are you okay?"
Dawnie slowly nodded, then gasped as Faith grabbed her arm and spun her around.
"Spongebob Squarepants? And boxers no less?" Faith smirked. "So is that why you didn’t want to give us a peek? Gotta say, I never really pictured you for the boxers type though."
"Hey, lay off her Faith. I have underwear just like those. Course, I don’t really wear mine anymore because there’s a rip on the side of them. Besides, they went missing a little while..." Xander had become fixated on a tear in Dawn’s boxers that she was trying to conceal. "Dawnie, where exactly did you get those boxers?"
Her face flushed a dark shade of red. "They were ripped, I didn’t think that you would mind."
Now Xander’s face was losing all of it’s color. "Oh no. Oh dear God no."
Faith burst out laughing. "You know, I don’t know what’s funnier. The fact that Dawn is wearing your underwear, or the fact that you own Spiderman and Spongebob boxers."
"This is getting wrong on a whole new level." Xander shook his head.
"I’m sorry, but I didn’t have any! And I saw these all ripped and I figured you wouldn’t even notice." Dawn turned away from him. "I washed them first, if that makes a difference."
"You guys, can we focus?" Willow exclaimed. "Now, we’re going to need to fight this thing. Maybe I could do a spell to make it, you know, visible, and Faith could fight it."
"Woah, wait a minute here! When did I become the wedgie fighter?" Faith interrupted.
"Faith, you’re the slayer." Willow reminded her, staring impatiently back the brunette.
"I’m the vampire slayer. I don’t do wedgie demons. Besides, this thing really isn’t a threat to me."
"What’s that supposed to mean?" Dawn was shifting from side to side; attempting to find a comfortable spot and failing miserably.
"It means I’m not giving this demon the right ammunition to make me look like you two."
Dawn’s eyes widened. "Oh."
Willow blushed slightly. "Oh. Oh!" she cried out as her underwear was tugged out from her pants and raised up to her head.
"Please tell me those aren’t mine too." Xander moaned.
Faith peered at Willow’s panties. "Not unless you own a thong that says ‘Hot Stuff’." she turned to him and grinned. "Is there something you aren’t telling us, Xand?"
Xander gaped at his friend. "See, this is the stuff I never wanted to know. ‘Hot Stuff’?"
"What? I have nothing to ‘defend’ to you! It’s my underwear, I can wear what I want!" Willow crossed her arms indignantly, though her cheeks were reddening.
"You know Will, I don’t think thongs were exactly made for wedgies." Faith pointed out. "You’re uh, showing a little back there."
Xander covered his eyes. "Oh God. I’m not looking. Let the record state that I did not look."
"Okay, listen up. Since Faith is the only one here not in danger of a wedgie, she’s going to fight this thing. Xander, you can help her. Dawn and I will work on a spell to make this thing show itself. Got it?"
"Boy Willow, you’re sure commanding when you’ve got your panties over your head." Faith retorted.
"Now!"
"All right, all right, I’ll go. Where will I find it and how do I kill it?"
"Let’s see...it would go someplace crowded, someplace with a lot of unsuspecting people. As for killing...I’m sure you’ll find a way."
Faith rolled her eyes, but nodded. She left the room and Xander followed.
"I feel like everybody’s staring at me." Xander muttered as he walked through the crowds of people in the park.
"Of course they’re staring at you. You’ve got an eyepatch and Spiderman undies pulled over your head. Frankly, I’m embarrassed to be seen with you."
"All right, I get the point. How do we know if this demon guy is even here?"
Faith pointed across the park, to a woman screeching and trying to remove her panties from her head. "We’ll just know. Come on."
"It’s an easy spell really. Some sprinkling of herbs, a little chanting, your hand might burn a little bit. All right then, you sit right there, across from me, and hold my hands, all right?"
"What was that about burning?" Dawn looked fearfully over at Willow.
"You’ll be fine. Now don’t let go, no matter what." Willow sat cross legged with her hands placed on her knees.
"Are you sure that this will work?" Dawn asked nervously.
Willow smiled optimistically. "Of course it will Dawnie. Besides, if it doesn’t, we are beyond screwed."
It was like watching a very disturbing domino effect. All down the pathway, unsuspecting people were crying out in pain as one by one, their underwear was ripped up and snapped down onto their heads.
"People, stop struggling!" Xander advised. "That only makes matters worse, trust me!"
Suddenly Faith felt something tugging at her own pants; desperately trying to find her underwear. She spun around a smacked the invisible wedgie demon in the face.
"Sorry buddy." she punched the demon again, and heard it moan in response. "I’m going commando."
"Lift this veil, I beg of you. Cast aside this fog, and let us see your true form." Willow whispered, her head turned toward the ceiling. A beam of light flashed down on the two girls, and Dawn felt her hands getting very hot.
"Willow?" Dawn whimpered.
"Shh! Don’t let go, Dawnie." her head snapped back down. "I command you, let your true self be seen!"
"Willow!" Dawn cried out as their hands began to scorch with heat. Willow squeezed her hands, not allowing her to let go. The light around them swirled, and then in an instant, it was over. Willow reached out to Dawn.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I’m fine, I think. Did it work?"
Faith glanced up and saw that her invisible opponent was now very visible. It was green, relatively small and kind of furry. Whatever it was, it didn’t look that threatening. The demon was wearing a leather loin cloth, and it tried desperately to run away.
"So, you’re the little monster with a thing for wedgies, huh?" Faith ran after the demon and jumped on his back. "Let’s see how you like it." With that, she grabbed the loin cloth and yanked it up as high as she could. The demon squealed, trying to break loose from her grip.
"Faith, heads up!" Xander tossed her a knife and she reached up and grabbed it.
She raised the blade over her head and drove it down into his chest. A green liquid sprayed back up at her. "Aw, sick." she mumbled, wiping it off of her face. She turned to grin at Xander.
"Hey Xander, I think you can dislodge Spidey now."