(no subject)
Well... I'm here.. I swear everyday I feel less and less like I'm living....
I went on an interview this morning...trying to do something to get out of this job that seems to be sucking my life right outta me. I don't know what it is, I am in a rut in a major way. I look around and all these things are happening and it's almost like I'm watching through a window. My sister had her baby...all that has done for me is confirm that I am stuck in a baby phase. I don't want to be married, but maaan I want a baby. And I wonder.. is that because I know that for me to even get pregnant is something that may not ever happen? grrr... I took my cousins to family day at Canobie Lake on Tuesday and it just wasn't anything exciting.. they didn't want to wait in any lines, I would only brave one coaster and just in general we werent into it....... I only see myself going down farther and farther... I need to be pulled back up... I just don't know what it will take to do that right now......
I went on an interview this morning...trying to do something to get out of this job that seems to be sucking my life right outta me. I don't know what it is, I am in a rut in a major way. I look around and all these things are happening and it's almost like I'm watching through a window. My sister had her baby...all that has done for me is confirm that I am stuck in a baby phase. I don't want to be married, but maaan I want a baby. And I wonder.. is that because I know that for me to even get pregnant is something that may not ever happen? grrr... I took my cousins to family day at Canobie Lake on Tuesday and it just wasn't anything exciting.. they didn't want to wait in any lines, I would only brave one coaster and just in general we werent into it....... I only see myself going down farther and farther... I need to be pulled back up... I just don't know what it will take to do that right now......