Eliot looked up, his hands still moving the knife over the cutting board. "Don't get what?"
Parker shrugged. She leaned against the cupboards and watched Eliot's hands for a moment. "Men. Love. Emotions. Relationships. Anything."
"Ah," Eliot said, using the knife to scrape his diced onions and garlic cloves into a pot. "What's Hardison done now?"
"Nothing." Parker pursed her lips. "I don't know. He's being weird."
Eliot wiped his hands on a towel and handed Parker a spoon. "When I add the tomatoes, you stir."
Parker nodded, watching as Eliot opened a can of goopy tomatoes and tipped them into the pot. She stirred, slowly and regularly, just like Eliot had taught her, while he plucked several leaves off the row of herbs on the windowsill and dropped them in the pot.
"It's just... he hiding something. I know he is. He closes whatever he's working on when I walk in the room, he locked the bottom drawer of his dresser - I checked, but there's nothing in there but a roll of wrapping paper and some empty jewelry boxes... and who keeps empty jewelry boxes anyway? They're no fun if there's nothing in them! And why would anyone need seven different--"
"Parker, focus," Eliot gently reminded her. "So, Hardison is being weird and secretive, huh?"
"Yes! I don't understand why - he's always honest with me!" She lifted the spoon and tapped it on the rim to shake off most of the tomato sauce. "Simmer for a bit?"
"Exactly. And in the meantime...?" Eliot prompted.
"Cook the spaghetti and make meatballs?" Parker didn't wait for Eliot's reply. She twirled around and opened one of the cabinets, finding the open spaghetti packet with ease. Eliot was weird about meatballs - he got grumpy if they weren't perfectly round and even.
"He would just tell me, right?" she asked once the spaghetti were floating in boiling water. "If he wanted to break up I mean."
Eliot dropped the last of his perfectly round meatballs into the sizzling pan. "He does not want to break up with you."
Parker gave him a doubtful look.
"Think about it," he said, like the answer was obvious. "What's in two weeks?"
"Almost Christmas?"
Eliot sighed. "Your birthday."
Parker frowned. "But... we don't do birthdays."
Eliot shook his head. "No. We don't do birthdays," he said, pointing at Parker and then himself. "But Hardison?"
"So he's... hiding my birthday present?" Parker shook her head. "No, he's never given me anything before."
"But this is the first time you're dating. Maybe he felt weird about making a big deal about it before."
"Huh." Parker checked the clock and then fished out a single spaghetti. "Done," she said.
"Good," Eliot said. "You dish up, I'll go get Hardison."
"Okay." Parker hesitated for a moment, then said: "Eliot? Thank you."
Eliot smiled and nodded and left the room without another word.
#
"Good news: I talked Parker out of thinking you're gonna break up with her," Eliot said by way of greeting.
Startled, Hardison nearly dropped his tablet. "Break up? Wha--?"
"Bad news: on top of your stupid Christmas surprise, you now also have to plan a birthday surprise for Parker."
Hardison blinked. "But. We don't do birthdays."
"Yeah, well, I told her you were probably planning something for her birthday to distract her from the thing you're planning for Christmas. Better get working on it, you only have thirteen more days!"
"Eliot? Come on, what the hell, man? Eliot!"
Eliot stuck his head back in the room. "Well, come on! Dinner's ready!"