Thinking Out Loud In Written Form
I've got just about 11 months left here in Korea.
I am really looking forward to going home at the end of this contract. Maybe it's this being year 2 of things. Maybe it's the loss of my good friend Ben 10 days ago. Maybe it's something else, but it will be nice to be home.
I know it's not likely I stay home for very long; I just can't afford to. Most likely, I will try to find a situation where I can get certified to teach while still working a full-time job. Or perhaps I'll get a job centered around working with youth -- day care or a children's home like where my dad used to work in the 90s. Of course, there is always the possibility of another year overseas. After my (brief) visit to Japan in February, I am considering going there. The way I figure it, I could do a year in Japan, perhaps teaching English at a college, and come back at age 32/33 with my only debt being about $40,000 in student loans. Not bad.
Currently, my 3 student loans are about $65,000. I could probably pay off the undergraduate loans with 2 years of overseas ESL work in the right place. Heck, if I got real serious, I could pay them off entirely in about 5-6 years if I lived real cheap in a decent-paying job.
But, still, I'd like to go home and rest up for a few months.
More than anything else, I'd like to have my own home. My own family. Those would be nice.
I know I have abandonment issues that come from being adopted and the way I was raised. I don't blame anyone for them; that is unproductive. So I try to deal with them by learning to let go, which is hard for me. I think being so far away has allowed me to see that a little better though. And to just simply understand ME better too.
One thing I feel those issues have made difficult for me was being alone. So, for the better part of 5 years now, I've been living on my own. And for most of my time in Korea, I've been practically an island when not at work. It's been difficult, but also helpful. I appreciate being alone now. I know how to take care of myself and manage my life. I know how to appreciate being around others too. There's a balance I didn't have before.
I've felt for a very long time that things that are meant to be will be in their own time. What I am doing here and now in Korea is getting ready for that day -- that time -- when those better days will come.
I am really looking forward to going home at the end of this contract. Maybe it's this being year 2 of things. Maybe it's the loss of my good friend Ben 10 days ago. Maybe it's something else, but it will be nice to be home.
I know it's not likely I stay home for very long; I just can't afford to. Most likely, I will try to find a situation where I can get certified to teach while still working a full-time job. Or perhaps I'll get a job centered around working with youth -- day care or a children's home like where my dad used to work in the 90s. Of course, there is always the possibility of another year overseas. After my (brief) visit to Japan in February, I am considering going there. The way I figure it, I could do a year in Japan, perhaps teaching English at a college, and come back at age 32/33 with my only debt being about $40,000 in student loans. Not bad.
Currently, my 3 student loans are about $65,000. I could probably pay off the undergraduate loans with 2 years of overseas ESL work in the right place. Heck, if I got real serious, I could pay them off entirely in about 5-6 years if I lived real cheap in a decent-paying job.
But, still, I'd like to go home and rest up for a few months.
More than anything else, I'd like to have my own home. My own family. Those would be nice.
I know I have abandonment issues that come from being adopted and the way I was raised. I don't blame anyone for them; that is unproductive. So I try to deal with them by learning to let go, which is hard for me. I think being so far away has allowed me to see that a little better though. And to just simply understand ME better too.
One thing I feel those issues have made difficult for me was being alone. So, for the better part of 5 years now, I've been living on my own. And for most of my time in Korea, I've been practically an island when not at work. It's been difficult, but also helpful. I appreciate being alone now. I know how to take care of myself and manage my life. I know how to appreciate being around others too. There's a balance I didn't have before.
I've felt for a very long time that things that are meant to be will be in their own time. What I am doing here and now in Korea is getting ready for that day -- that time -- when those better days will come.