But But that chipper means happy Jen and Jared, right? Please. You can't hurt one of our boys....They've, especially Jen has been through so much. He deserves to be happy...right? Right? Please
I really enjoyed that - Can't wait to read the rest of it!
Just one thing (and I hope you don't mind me pointing it out)... you seem to be confusing your use of 'then' and 'than'. I don't usually say anything when I see people doing this (and I see if a lot in fandom), but I think you have good writing skills and a great way of developing the plot line...so think of this as a compliment??
Anyway, to try help you out, 2 examples are "Jensen was only a few months older then him" and "heard about more then a few girls and boys who were going to go to LA". In both lines it should read 'than' not 'then'.
As a general rule, it should be 'then' if the sentence is using 'if' or is taking about doing x after doing y:
"if we get the money then we can go", "taking one gulp directly from the bottle, then grabbing a glass and filling it."
and it should be 'than' if the sentence is using 'more' or 'rather':
"his voice a little more comfortable than before" "because it's better than living on the streets
( ... )
-head desk- I hate grammar, I know I should know this but I really don't, I'll look over the rest of this to double check for this stuff. Thanks for the comment! Not insulted at all.
Good story. I'm glad that Jensen has Jared to protect him now. Will be interesting to hear their stories & why both of them left home, especially Jensen leaving so young. Lokking forward to part 2
This is a fascinating fic, interesting. I noticed your warnings, and I worry, because with this pace I think I'm going to love this version of them enough that it'll hurt, but I'm going to read it anyway! Great job, please continue it soon!
Wonderful beginning. I love the way you have drawn Jensen's character. I am really want to learn Jarrod's story. I read the warnings, so I am prepared to be wrecked, but I this is so well written I will enjoy it no matter what. Thanks for sharing.
Glad Jensen seems realistic, this is the first time I've written hustler fic since working with them! The warning... yeah. Well its based off of a hans christian anderson story so someone had to die.
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Just one thing (and I hope you don't mind me pointing it out)... you seem to be confusing your use of 'then' and 'than'. I don't usually say anything when I see people doing this (and I see if a lot in fandom), but I think you have good writing skills and a great way of developing the plot line...so think of this as a compliment??
Anyway, to try help you out, 2 examples are "Jensen was only a few months older then him" and "heard about more then a few girls and boys who were going to go to LA". In both lines it should read 'than' not 'then'.
As a general rule, it should be 'then' if the sentence is using 'if' or is taking about doing x after doing y:
"if we get the money then we can go",
"taking one gulp directly from the bottle, then grabbing a glass and filling it."
and it should be 'than' if the sentence is using 'more' or 'rather':
"his voice a little more comfortable than before"
"because it's better than living on the streets ( ... )
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I noticed your warnings, and I worry, because with this pace I think I'm going to love this version of them enough that it'll hurt, but I'm going to read it anyway!
Great job, please continue it soon!
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