Winter Manor 22
Title: The Winter Manor
Author: Cards
Rating: R
Summery: After the events of the Christmas, there is Easter, and a tentative new start to something that neither boy can name.
Warnings: bit of boy sexing and dealing with issues of abuse, oh and awkwardness there is lots of awkwardness
Disclaimer: ... dude its a historical fiction au rps story. how could it be true
Previous Chapters
Jensen looks up at Jared, he can feel the press of the younger boys lips against his but he’s not sure what it means. He’d been a few seconds away from panicking all day, ever since he’d walked into the kitchen, roused from the calm peace of sleep and forced to remember what exactly he’d done the night before.
He could feel Jared’s hand a warm solid weight against his face, pressing gently, providing comfort along with the press of his lips. It was so different from what he had expected, he’d thought there would be disgust or pressure and Jared turning into Mr. Hartley. That Jared would want something and instead, it’s just a dry kiss.
And Jensen starts thinking that maybe Jared really is different.
Jared gulped, looking down at Jensen and how his face was tense, eyes screwed closed and he’s confused, because Jensen is so much stronger and so much more mature and aware and he’s confidant and graceful. He’s pretty much everything Jared isn’t, so why is Jensen so freaked out. And why is it that Jensen practically hung on every word he had said.
He remembers for a moment, one of the few serious talks that his brother had with him since he’d been declared heir, and made everything he knew would happen official. It was about how servants served them, how they depended on them for their jobs. How it wasn’t alright to do things with them. And Jeffery had been wonderfully vague and it had confused Jared right up until that moment, with Jensen.
“You don’t have to do this,” Jared said, sitting back, with a thump as his buttocks hit the floor. “I mean, any of this” And he’s a little scared that Jensen will sigh a big gasp of relief and stand up and walk out. “I mean, if you don’t want me, or this, or oh god.” Jared bit his lip and gulping looked up at Jensen.
Jensen took a deep breath “No, Jared, I, I like you” he said softly and sat up slightly looking down, and Jared could see that Jensen was still worried, and he didn’t understand why.
Jensen stood up “If you have no further need of me” he said, and his face was still red from something that Jared doesn’t understand. “I think we both are going to have to go to church soon, and” Jensen just licked his lips again, not finishing the thought.
Jared gulped, and suddenly he was really worried, and he didn’t have anyone to talk to. No one wanted to listen when he had something to say normally, he could only imagine how little they’d be interested in what he had to say about if he was doing something wrong kissing a manservant.
Jensen paused by the door and looked back at him, and he was smiling, and it was shakey, but Jared could tell that it wasn’t forced “I made the iced bun specially for you” He said softly, “I’ll see you after the service.”
With that, Jared thought, maybe, just maybe that he wasn’t as lost as he thought.
Easter service was almost if not more, boring then the Lent services that came before it, at least the Lent services he’d been at school for, and Chad and Milo had kept him entertained with dirty ditties written into the hymn books and Milo telling of his Uncle’s adventures in the London clubs. This was just his mother slapping at his hands and telling him like he was three that they had to be on their best behavior, that the towns people needed to see them being good examples.
Jared only caught a glimpse of Jensen once, he was standing and sharing a hymnal with a short boy with blond hair and another one with freckles and an easy smile. He wondered if Jensen told the young boys about him, or if Jared was completely forgotten about when Jensen was below stairs.
After that Jared didn’t need prompting from his mother, he simply read the bible while the sermon droned on and in a rare instance of camaraderie he looked over and Jeffery was sitting next to his father, doing the same thing. They looked up at each other and smiled.
Easter dinner, was of course amazing, and the sheer number of sweets and delicacies had even Jared full. Jensen was like his shadow, doing everything perfectly, and Jared didn’t know if he’d imagined what had happened earlier, if he’d imagined Jensen’s desperate kneeling and the way he’d looked so panicked. Or maybe he’d imagined the night before and the sound Jensen had made and the way he’d felt under him, the soft feel of his skin covering lean muscles.
That was more likely, that Jared had made it all up, had made this whole vacation up and he would wake up with Milo shoving something under his nose or pushing him out of bed to wake him.
Jared was almost surprised then, that night when Jensen came up into his room Jared was curled on his bed, nose stuck in a book, some sort of soppy love poems that Chadwick had been pouring over and Jared had stolen it, to see if something spoke to him.
He looked up at Jensen staring at the other boy, waiting to see what Jensen would do, and it took a few moments to understand that Jensen was waiting for his cue. That startled Jared, and as he put his book down Jensen took a deep breath, his eyes shutting tight for the duration of that breath.
Jared gulped and looked up at him “Jensen, do you actually…” he blushed, knowing he’d asked before and he still didn’t understand the answers Jensen gave him. “I mean, is this just because I’m you know, who I am?”
Jensen sighed and moved forward, Jared pulled back even farther into a ball, curling up to allow Jensen space to sit. Jensen stood by the bed, and Jared gulped.
“I like you Jared” Jensen repeated and gulped. “I mean, I really do.”
Jared nodded and reached forward, tugging on Jensen’s arm. The older boy fell onto the bed, Jared gulped and tugged him up, so they were laying next to one another. Jared curled into Jensen’s side.
“I know that you work for my family” Jared said softly, “And I know that you might think you have to… you know. And I just…”
Jensen smiled “Jared, you don’t have to worry.” He said softly, it was odd, this whole conversation, the way Jared was acting.
Jared nodded and tilted his head up “Milo visited a whore over the winter break.” He said.
Jensen nodded, “Oh” and his stomach gripped tight. Whatever he’d thought he’d had with Jared was completely made up, Jared just wanted someone who was willing, or someone to practice on. He nodded again, pressing a kiss to Jared’s lips. And he wished for one second that Jared had just taken all of that the first night he’d been at the Manor, instead of waiting until now. Then it wouldn’t have hurt, he would have been alright with it.
Jared groaned, returning the kiss, and this was comfortable, he knew what he was doing. He didn’t know how to talk to Jensen, how to explain himself and how to make Jensen comfortable. He knew how to kiss though, even if he was still new to it. For example he didn’t understand how saying Milo had visited a whore had prompted kissing, but he wasn’t sure how to argue with it. For some reason Jensen was less relaxed, pulling him over him and Jared looked down at the older boy, grinning.
Jensen’s smiled was slightly tight and Jared paused, his lips barely a breath away before Jensen pushes their lips back together. There’s a desperation to Jensen’s kisses that Jared doesn’t understand at all, like this is ending or something. And he doesn’t like that idea, though the way that Jensen is spreading his legs and the way he’s tilting his body so that Jared can rut against him embarrassingly like a dog in heat, he can’t really say he minds.
Jared is trying to touch Jensen desperately, his finger stroking at the soft skin of his cheek. “So amazing” He whispers, without even thinking it, and Jensen stills under him. It takes tremendous effort for Jared to stop.
“Wait what’s wrong?” He asked softly, looking down at Jensen, “Did I do something wrong?”
Jensen looked up at him, licking his lips, confused. “No, no you didn’t.”
“I said something and you stopped. And I said something about Milo and his whore…”
Jensen gulped and looked up at him “Oh, well, I mean…” He floundered unsure what to say, and Jared seemed to keep touching him, fingers stroking at the sensitive skin on the side of his jaw.
Its almost as if Jared hasn’t heard his stuttered start because he starts talking “And everyone else is jealous, and Chadwick wants to see one this break, and they all get caught sneaking out to try and visit one of the houses in the town. And I did it with them once, but I don’t want that, I don’t want a whore. I thought, that maybe if I did I wouldn’t want you anymore” He gulped, deciding to tell Jensen all of this, and it doesn’t matter that Jensen is laying below him, because really all he can think about is the way that his thumb slides down over Jensen’s skin and the way that he can feel Jensen’s breath calming under him. “But I want you. And I want you because you’re amazing, and the thought that you want me, even half as much as I want you. Well I don’t really believe it.”
Jared took a deep breath “I don’t want you to think that you have to do anything with me. I’ve seen how some people you know…” he trailed off “You know to maids. And I don’t want to be like that, I don’t want us to be like that. I want us to be amazing and I want you to talk to me, like you know.” Jared looked shyly up through his bangs at Jared “Like real couples do.”
Jensen looks up at him and Jared can see how wide his eyes are, that his mouth is slightly parted and then he nods, a short nod of his head. “Yeah like a real couple” he said softly, and Jared grinned, bowing his head down and kissing Jensen again. And the rush and hurry is all gone, and Jensen’s hands are touching his hips. And Jensen hasn’t reached out to touch him until this point, not really, but now Jensen’s fingers are light on Jared’s hips and his thumbs are touching at Jared’s sides, under the fabric of his shirt and vest and it’s all too much for Jared. The stimulation causes him to erupt, his body tightening over Jensen’s again and he’s bright red as how quick it happened.
Jensen smiles up at him, and he presses a kiss to Jared’s jaw, his face curling in and Jared grins, because instead of hurrying up and moving out, Jensen in wrapping his arms around his waist and tilting his head so that he’s completely connected to Jared.
“I like you, Jared, a lot.” Jensen whispers, blushing himself and looking up at Jared. “I really do.”
Author’s notes: -throws self down- I am so fucking sorry that this took so damn long to do! I really really am! But my new home is so… weird and I haven’t been in the mood to write, but then my own personal ticker said “Dude time to get more Winter Manor out” and I was like “Ohhh yeah that!” But the real issue is that I kinda want to skip past all this icky boys sorting out their feelings, to when they’re …… oooh not going to give it away!
In more serious news: I’ve put myself (and my self esteem) up for auction at fics4books. I would hate to not go for anything, and because I really think that this is a great thing, and that Fandom should support people then I’m begging for you to bid for me. I’ll write you pretty much anything, any fandom I’m familiar in, even though I say only j2. AND BONUS, every time someone bids up 5 dollars from a current bid, I’ll get a new Chapter of Winter Manor out within a WEEK of the bid going up. (Will also work for The Slide or any other ongoing works I have)
So yes, you can force me to write more!
http://community.livejournal.com/fics4books/9116.html?mode=reply
Author: Cards
Rating: R
Summery: After the events of the Christmas, there is Easter, and a tentative new start to something that neither boy can name.
Warnings: bit of boy sexing and dealing with issues of abuse, oh and awkwardness there is lots of awkwardness
Disclaimer: ... dude its a historical fiction au rps story. how could it be true
Previous Chapters
Jensen looks up at Jared, he can feel the press of the younger boys lips against his but he’s not sure what it means. He’d been a few seconds away from panicking all day, ever since he’d walked into the kitchen, roused from the calm peace of sleep and forced to remember what exactly he’d done the night before.
He could feel Jared’s hand a warm solid weight against his face, pressing gently, providing comfort along with the press of his lips. It was so different from what he had expected, he’d thought there would be disgust or pressure and Jared turning into Mr. Hartley. That Jared would want something and instead, it’s just a dry kiss.
And Jensen starts thinking that maybe Jared really is different.
Jared gulped, looking down at Jensen and how his face was tense, eyes screwed closed and he’s confused, because Jensen is so much stronger and so much more mature and aware and he’s confidant and graceful. He’s pretty much everything Jared isn’t, so why is Jensen so freaked out. And why is it that Jensen practically hung on every word he had said.
He remembers for a moment, one of the few serious talks that his brother had with him since he’d been declared heir, and made everything he knew would happen official. It was about how servants served them, how they depended on them for their jobs. How it wasn’t alright to do things with them. And Jeffery had been wonderfully vague and it had confused Jared right up until that moment, with Jensen.
“You don’t have to do this,” Jared said, sitting back, with a thump as his buttocks hit the floor. “I mean, any of this” And he’s a little scared that Jensen will sigh a big gasp of relief and stand up and walk out. “I mean, if you don’t want me, or this, or oh god.” Jared bit his lip and gulping looked up at Jensen.
Jensen took a deep breath “No, Jared, I, I like you” he said softly and sat up slightly looking down, and Jared could see that Jensen was still worried, and he didn’t understand why.
Jensen stood up “If you have no further need of me” he said, and his face was still red from something that Jared doesn’t understand. “I think we both are going to have to go to church soon, and” Jensen just licked his lips again, not finishing the thought.
Jared gulped, and suddenly he was really worried, and he didn’t have anyone to talk to. No one wanted to listen when he had something to say normally, he could only imagine how little they’d be interested in what he had to say about if he was doing something wrong kissing a manservant.
Jensen paused by the door and looked back at him, and he was smiling, and it was shakey, but Jared could tell that it wasn’t forced “I made the iced bun specially for you” He said softly, “I’ll see you after the service.”
With that, Jared thought, maybe, just maybe that he wasn’t as lost as he thought.
Easter service was almost if not more, boring then the Lent services that came before it, at least the Lent services he’d been at school for, and Chad and Milo had kept him entertained with dirty ditties written into the hymn books and Milo telling of his Uncle’s adventures in the London clubs. This was just his mother slapping at his hands and telling him like he was three that they had to be on their best behavior, that the towns people needed to see them being good examples.
Jared only caught a glimpse of Jensen once, he was standing and sharing a hymnal with a short boy with blond hair and another one with freckles and an easy smile. He wondered if Jensen told the young boys about him, or if Jared was completely forgotten about when Jensen was below stairs.
After that Jared didn’t need prompting from his mother, he simply read the bible while the sermon droned on and in a rare instance of camaraderie he looked over and Jeffery was sitting next to his father, doing the same thing. They looked up at each other and smiled.
Easter dinner, was of course amazing, and the sheer number of sweets and delicacies had even Jared full. Jensen was like his shadow, doing everything perfectly, and Jared didn’t know if he’d imagined what had happened earlier, if he’d imagined Jensen’s desperate kneeling and the way he’d looked so panicked. Or maybe he’d imagined the night before and the sound Jensen had made and the way he’d felt under him, the soft feel of his skin covering lean muscles.
That was more likely, that Jared had made it all up, had made this whole vacation up and he would wake up with Milo shoving something under his nose or pushing him out of bed to wake him.
Jared was almost surprised then, that night when Jensen came up into his room Jared was curled on his bed, nose stuck in a book, some sort of soppy love poems that Chadwick had been pouring over and Jared had stolen it, to see if something spoke to him.
He looked up at Jensen staring at the other boy, waiting to see what Jensen would do, and it took a few moments to understand that Jensen was waiting for his cue. That startled Jared, and as he put his book down Jensen took a deep breath, his eyes shutting tight for the duration of that breath.
Jared gulped and looked up at him “Jensen, do you actually…” he blushed, knowing he’d asked before and he still didn’t understand the answers Jensen gave him. “I mean, is this just because I’m you know, who I am?”
Jensen sighed and moved forward, Jared pulled back even farther into a ball, curling up to allow Jensen space to sit. Jensen stood by the bed, and Jared gulped.
“I like you Jared” Jensen repeated and gulped. “I mean, I really do.”
Jared nodded and reached forward, tugging on Jensen’s arm. The older boy fell onto the bed, Jared gulped and tugged him up, so they were laying next to one another. Jared curled into Jensen’s side.
“I know that you work for my family” Jared said softly, “And I know that you might think you have to… you know. And I just…”
Jensen smiled “Jared, you don’t have to worry.” He said softly, it was odd, this whole conversation, the way Jared was acting.
Jared nodded and tilted his head up “Milo visited a whore over the winter break.” He said.
Jensen nodded, “Oh” and his stomach gripped tight. Whatever he’d thought he’d had with Jared was completely made up, Jared just wanted someone who was willing, or someone to practice on. He nodded again, pressing a kiss to Jared’s lips. And he wished for one second that Jared had just taken all of that the first night he’d been at the Manor, instead of waiting until now. Then it wouldn’t have hurt, he would have been alright with it.
Jared groaned, returning the kiss, and this was comfortable, he knew what he was doing. He didn’t know how to talk to Jensen, how to explain himself and how to make Jensen comfortable. He knew how to kiss though, even if he was still new to it. For example he didn’t understand how saying Milo had visited a whore had prompted kissing, but he wasn’t sure how to argue with it. For some reason Jensen was less relaxed, pulling him over him and Jared looked down at the older boy, grinning.
Jensen’s smiled was slightly tight and Jared paused, his lips barely a breath away before Jensen pushes their lips back together. There’s a desperation to Jensen’s kisses that Jared doesn’t understand at all, like this is ending or something. And he doesn’t like that idea, though the way that Jensen is spreading his legs and the way he’s tilting his body so that Jared can rut against him embarrassingly like a dog in heat, he can’t really say he minds.
Jared is trying to touch Jensen desperately, his finger stroking at the soft skin of his cheek. “So amazing” He whispers, without even thinking it, and Jensen stills under him. It takes tremendous effort for Jared to stop.
“Wait what’s wrong?” He asked softly, looking down at Jensen, “Did I do something wrong?”
Jensen looked up at him, licking his lips, confused. “No, no you didn’t.”
“I said something and you stopped. And I said something about Milo and his whore…”
Jensen gulped and looked up at him “Oh, well, I mean…” He floundered unsure what to say, and Jared seemed to keep touching him, fingers stroking at the sensitive skin on the side of his jaw.
Its almost as if Jared hasn’t heard his stuttered start because he starts talking “And everyone else is jealous, and Chadwick wants to see one this break, and they all get caught sneaking out to try and visit one of the houses in the town. And I did it with them once, but I don’t want that, I don’t want a whore. I thought, that maybe if I did I wouldn’t want you anymore” He gulped, deciding to tell Jensen all of this, and it doesn’t matter that Jensen is laying below him, because really all he can think about is the way that his thumb slides down over Jensen’s skin and the way that he can feel Jensen’s breath calming under him. “But I want you. And I want you because you’re amazing, and the thought that you want me, even half as much as I want you. Well I don’t really believe it.”
Jared took a deep breath “I don’t want you to think that you have to do anything with me. I’ve seen how some people you know…” he trailed off “You know to maids. And I don’t want to be like that, I don’t want us to be like that. I want us to be amazing and I want you to talk to me, like you know.” Jared looked shyly up through his bangs at Jared “Like real couples do.”
Jensen looks up at him and Jared can see how wide his eyes are, that his mouth is slightly parted and then he nods, a short nod of his head. “Yeah like a real couple” he said softly, and Jared grinned, bowing his head down and kissing Jensen again. And the rush and hurry is all gone, and Jensen’s hands are touching his hips. And Jensen hasn’t reached out to touch him until this point, not really, but now Jensen’s fingers are light on Jared’s hips and his thumbs are touching at Jared’s sides, under the fabric of his shirt and vest and it’s all too much for Jared. The stimulation causes him to erupt, his body tightening over Jensen’s again and he’s bright red as how quick it happened.
Jensen smiles up at him, and he presses a kiss to Jared’s jaw, his face curling in and Jared grins, because instead of hurrying up and moving out, Jensen in wrapping his arms around his waist and tilting his head so that he’s completely connected to Jared.
“I like you, Jared, a lot.” Jensen whispers, blushing himself and looking up at Jared. “I really do.”
Author’s notes: -throws self down- I am so fucking sorry that this took so damn long to do! I really really am! But my new home is so… weird and I haven’t been in the mood to write, but then my own personal ticker said “Dude time to get more Winter Manor out” and I was like “Ohhh yeah that!” But the real issue is that I kinda want to skip past all this icky boys sorting out their feelings, to when they’re …… oooh not going to give it away!
In more serious news: I’ve put myself (and my self esteem) up for auction at fics4books. I would hate to not go for anything, and because I really think that this is a great thing, and that Fandom should support people then I’m begging for you to bid for me. I’ll write you pretty much anything, any fandom I’m familiar in, even though I say only j2. AND BONUS, every time someone bids up 5 dollars from a current bid, I’ll get a new Chapter of Winter Manor out within a WEEK of the bid going up. (Will also work for The Slide or any other ongoing works I have)
So yes, you can force me to write more!
http://community.livejournal.com/fics4books/9116.html?mode=reply